A Dying Candle Leads to a new Light
by Jasperbells
Summary: Could forever end?Bella finds herself drifting away from Edward as he is always busy. She can't take being ignored so she finds solace in other company. My first ff ever so no judging thanks
1. Deadly Questions

**Disclaimer i do not own Twilight or any of the characters. **

Could a love that used to shine so brightly, so strongly, die? Could it die so quickly that you couldn't even see it coming, until it was over? This was the thought that I never wanted to think of. Edward and I were together for more than seven years, we had our cottage, our unnecessary cars and most of all our Renesmee. She was fully grown now at age seven, though physically she was 17. We had fought the Volturi and survived, it seemed like nothing could bring us down from the natural high we were on… until now.

Isabella Cullen, Isabella Cullen, I fingered the ring on my left hand and thought about the day I married Edward. I was human then so the memory is kind of dim, but none the less I remembered walking down the aisle with Charlie by my side. I remember saying I do and kissing him. That day, I hope will never be wiped away.

I always knew that Edward and I were meant for each other, it was fate. From that very first day that we met, I knew that nothing could break us apart. But now I wasn't so sure if this was true.

Something was different. The way Edward used to touch me, the way he used to spend hours looking into my eyes. These things didn't happen anymore, like my blurry human memories these were slowly fading away. I didn't ask him about yet, fearing that his response would be something… something I would not want to hear. We lay in bed, him reading, me shielding my thoughts like usual. Even though I could easily let him hear me, I was so used to be the only one he couldn't hear. I looked at him from the corner of my eye, easily glancing at him through my long shades of eyelashes. Whatever he was reading had his full attention. THE HISTORY OF JULIUS CAESAR, a very boring book. It had been sitting on the bookshelf for years, why had he started reading it now? I let out a sigh and fiddled with my hair. That was the one thing that vampires didn't do… fidget, but I needed to get his attention. I needed for him to look at me with complete love in his eyes while telling me that his feelings for me were as strong as they were before. I needed so much from him.

He hadn't noticed my subtle movements because his eyes remained glued to the book. Is this what we had become? Had we lost the flame which once burned without end? More questions that had no answers popped into my head. I couldn't take anymore, like a parasite slowly eating away at a dead animal; it was figuratively killing me not to get these answers. I leaped off the bed with my sharp vampire reflexes and put both hands on my hips. He didn't even flinch. I cleared my throat, hoping that he would notice my stance. No luck. That was it, I needed an answer. I needed to know why Edward hadn't even given me a second glance since this morning when he had told me he was going hunting with Alice. Did something happen? Did I do something wrong? I dropped my protective shield away from me, feeling its elasticity slump in an instant. I screamed in my head, letting all my thoughts run free. I did not like having my shield down, it made me feel weak and vulnerable. But it was the only way that I would be able to capture Edwards's mind…by shattering his own barrier.

"Edward!" Now I had his complete attention, he laid his book gently onto the bed and looked at me with wary eyes. He looked tired almost exhausted, which was weird because as a vampire, we never got tired, we didn't even sleep.

"Why are you screaming?" he asked hardhearted and calmly.

"Because I've been trying to get your attention all night, I doubt Julius is that interesting."

I fidgeted to one foot. Was I doing this all wrong? Why was I suddenly so nervous around him? He finally got off the bed and walked towards me. Once close enough, he pushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I looked at him with pleading eyes. He was reading my mind now, hopefully thinking about answering all of my foolish questions.

"I'm fine just a little exasperated with this bank situation. I'm sorry that I haven't been paying attention to you," his golden eyes said.

The family…my family was having a bit of a bank problem which required both Edward's and Alice's full attention. This left me at home alone most of the time.

This did it for me. No longer did I care about my questions. He was sorry and that was all that mattered, I felt bad for thinking such things. Edward loved me and he was here for me. I crushed my lips onto his, wrapping my arms around his neck in frenzy. He didn't open his mouth, despite the fact that my tongue was frantically dancing on the outside of his lips. The lust was short live as he pushed me away from him. I stumbled back a bit, my vampire reflexes catching me before I fell to the floor sobbing. I looked to his eyes for reassurance but found none.

" Your phone is going to ring soon, Renee did say she would call directly at 10:00" Just as he finished his sentence, a loud shrill of a ring resounded in the room. I huffed and darted to the phone, picking it up before it rang twice. Renee was checking up on me again, she was always worried about me and never stopped caring even when I stopped visiting. The whole not aging thing was just as hard for her as it was for Charlie. The call was short and I hung up after exactly three minutes. When my eyes found where Edward was standing before, he was gone. I followed his scent out the front door, probably went to the family house to give me privacy. But we still hadn't talked, really talked. Sucking my shield back into place, I stalked back into the living room. Maybe I'd call Renesmee, see how her camping trip was going. I had let her and Jacob do everything together, but there was a part of me that always worried. Instead I settled into the chocolate love seat that Esme had given me as a wedding gift. Things with Edward were fine, I was just exhausting my mind with silly thoughts… I knew it.

What if I was wrong? What if something was going on? A whole new batch of worries baked in my mind. Forever wasn't looking too good right now I hadn't moved from my solid position and Edward hadn't come back from where ever he was, leaving me alone once again. Did I have a reason to be worried? Or was I making things up? More questions clouded my mind. That was it, I wasn't going to sit here and talk to myself. Running out the door, I charges to the main house. There were no signs of life from the outside but maybe Edward was inside. I walked slowly up the steps, taking time to recollect myself. I was going to make sure that I got all the answers that I needed.


	2. Lost hope

I walked into the big house, even after all of these years, the house was still as beautiful as when I saw it 9 years ago. I was right, the house was completely quiet and empty, and there was no trace of Edward's scent at all. I sighed out loud and walked into the kitchen. I was wrong on the part when I said that the house was empty, because in the kitchen stood a very dismayed and alone Jasper.

"Good morning Bella."

"Hey Jasper,"

"Looking for someone?" Was Jasper reading my emotions? Or was the answer plastered on my face? The tension and anxiety flowing from me must have been hitting him at 100 mph

"That obvious huh?" He laughed his sweet Jasper laugh and walked closer to me.

"Edward isn't here, he and Alice had some bank business they to take care of," Why hadn't Edward told me? It would've save me all that time I spent questioned our life together.

"Oh, um ok," Jasper's eyebrow raised and he opened his mouth to speak.

"You could stay here, your cottage won't be any fun alone." He was right, I needed to be with someone right now, and Jasper seemed like a good candidate for the job.

"Thanks Jasper." A sudden flow of calm entered me; Jasper was helping me feel better. I smiled a grateful smile and he nodded. The good thing about Jasper was that it was so easy to be around him. He pointed to the back porch and I easily followed. The dark mass of clouds hid the sun and gave the sky a gray tint. He sat on the steps and I joined him. Jasper had a unique beauty that I hadn't noticed before. His scars gave him a look of danger and mystery. For some strange reason, I was pulled to it. He broke the silence.

"So how are things?" he asked sincerely. Should I tell him the truth? How I was constantly questioning every aspect of my life with Edward. "Bad," I couldn't help it; the response came out so fast. He didn't look surprised almost as if he had been expecting for me to say it.

"How so?" Why he asking me? Why did he want me to relive my moments of pain? I shifted on the step, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with sharing these feelings.

"I don't know, maybe I'm just overreacting"

"Are you?" his blond brow arched up.

"Really Jasper, I don't know…sometimes I make assumptions," He sighed and look up at the drab sky. "Maybe we could talk about something else?" I looked at him and he nodded.

"I remember before, you were talking about learning to fight," My face lit up. "Do you still want to learn?" he didn't have to ask twice, I was up before he could take it back. He smiled and darted into the forest that surrounded the house. I followed him with instinct and was running by his side. He stopped completely and turned to me. He looked excited, almost as much as I was. I was just happy to be doing something that didn't involve me being alone. He stretched a bit and I followed his lead.

"Say I'm the enemy," I flinched; I didn't want to think of any of my family as my rivals. But I nodded anyway. "Now try to dodge me," In an instant he lunged at me tackling me to the ground. Of course it didn't hurt but he had taken me by surprise. In a quick second he was standing above me. I stood up in front of him, dusting off my jeans. I had completely forgotten that when it came to fighting, Jasper was the most skilled.

"Wow that was fast"

"Yes, any attack from another vampire would be as fast as that" I felt my forehead wrinkle as I nodded.

"Okay, do it again" I crouched and focused on his face. He laughed and stepped closer to me.

"Before I do, try stepping in the opposite direction to which I step." I nodded and switched my focus to his feet. I waited for him to attack. However instantaneously he was gone and his strong grip was holding hands behind my back with his mouth place lightly on my neck. He moved to back to where he was and laughed.

"You're not very good at this Bella"

"Oh please don't sugar coat it on my account" I stated sarcastically as I leaned against a tree. Was I really that bad?

"Do you want to try again?" I nodded frantically and positioned myself back into a crouch. "Now remember my feet will show you where I'm going, but don't rely on it too much, you have to focus up here." He pointed to his face. "Ready?" I nodded again. This time I kept his feet within my sight but help my gaze glued to his face. His left foot moved slightly and quickly, I then knew that I had go right. I flitted to the right and he was now standing where I was before.

"Very good Bella," I smiled proudly like a 2 year old and laughed along with Jasper. I wanted to do more but so much time had passed and Edward would be wondering where I was.

"Do you think we could do it again? Tomorrow maybe?"

"I have no plans." I smiled. When we got back to the main house Edward and Alice were in the kitchen laughing.

"Do I get to hear the joke?" I asked, wrapping my arms around Edward's stone waist. I could feel him recoil a bit then relax. I looked at Alice, she look cautious. The bank situation must be a lot for them. "Or not?" I added, releasing Edward to stand by his side.

"Oh it's nothing Bella" Alice chimed in her musical voice whilst floating to where Jasper was standing. The air was awkward and the tension was thick, was I the only one who noticed?

"Where were you two?" Edward stated coldly without emotion.

"I'm not going to tell you," I said teasingly hoping to have him beg me. No luck, he didn't ask after that. "Don't you want to know?" I was shielding Jasper and his thoughts, Edward would have to ask me now.

"Do I want to know? Were you doing something reckless? Should I be worried?" I was going to save him the anticipated pain.

"Jasper was training me, well teaching me to fight."

"Did you have fun?" Now I was mad, where were the snarls, the tightening of the knuckles, wasn't he worried?

"Yah…I learned a lot." I shot a friendly smile to Jasper, who graciously returned.

"Good." His sentence was short and crisp. I looked at the three vampires standing before me, they were beautiful no doubt, but they looked bored.

"Let's play a game," I grinned. Edward didn't look too excited; his lips were pressed into a tight line. "come on let's have a little fun, all we do every day is sit in this house"

"What did you have in mind?" Jasper asked. I smiled; at least Jasper was in for some normal fun. But we weren't normal, we were vampires. Normal didn't exist for us. I could hear the sound of a car pulling into the driveway then four pairs of footsteps.

"Looks like we won't have time to play" Edward stated plainly. I was defeated; I wasn't going to be able to lighten up the air.

Esme, Carlisle, Rosaline, and Emmett were back from Denali, they were visiting.

"Miss us?" Emmett joked. I laughed, I really missed his humor. "I bet Edward and Bella found something to do." He roared at his joke. It's been seven years and still hadn't gotten tired of making his sexual remarks. But I didn't laugh or hiss, instead I looked down because usually Emmett was right but today he was wrong. Edward and I barely touched this whole month, let alone had sex. Emmett must've picked up on my attitude because his roar of laughter has stopped as soon as it had begun. Esme laid a reassuring hand on my shoulder but it did nothing, I left the kitchen and went into the yard. I was tired of thinking that maybe things would get better, I needed time to think.


	3. A trip

**Sorry for the long wait the site was glitching and it wouldn't let me sign in, but thank you for being so patient. Hope you enjoy. Thanx to Beatie and Sarah my number one fans **

For some strange reason I was missing Renesmee terribly, I wanted nothing more than to and smell her sweet scent, to hear her fluttering heart beat. I wanted to love someone who was going to give it back; something I hadn't been getting from Edward. If vampires could cry, then that's what I would be doing now, instead I was dry sobbing, gasping and taking in unnecessary air. This is not the way I imagined it, vampire life see so…so good, but right now, more than anything, I wanted to be human, I wanted to feel the tears streaming down my hot cheeks, I wanted to feel pain, physical pain. They must've wanted to give me privacy, because no one came out to comfort me. I smacked my shield away from me like it was an annoying fly that kept buzzing in my ear. I directed my thoughts to Edward now.

"Is there something wrong with me? Do you love me anymore?"

I only wanted to him to hear those words and nothing else. Pulling my shield back into place I walked back into the house. It was like I never left, Carlisle was on his computer typing away, Esme humming a silent song to herself while arranging flowers and Edward and Alice in the kitchen laughing. But where was Jasper? I walked up the stairs in no rush, to find Jasper writing in what looked like a journal. He knew I was there, no doubt because of the vampire senses but because I dragged my feet up the stairs the whole time.

"Sorry I didn't mean to-"he put one hand up to silent me.

"It's fine really," he smiled once and continued to jot a fast trail of what looked like words. They were words, a story. I could make out each of the letters that he wrote.

"Are you writing a story?" Curiosity was running through me like a jolt.

"Yes, nothing special but I like to keep myself busy. When I'm not training, I'm writing." Wow who knew Jasper was a writer?

"May I?"

I said sitting where he was, reaching my hand out toward him. He nodded and handed me the brown leather journal. I flipped to the first page and read the title; _Soothing an Ocean._ The story was about a young boy born during the civil war down south, who was trying to keep his family safe while trying to fulfill his duty as a man in love. It was a page turner, I was half way through it when he spoke.

"Good?" I opened my mouth in shock.

"Good? Jasper, this is beyond good!" I handed him the journal and he smiled appreciatively.

"Edward's not the only one with hidden talents," he said quietly with a grim scowl. I picked up on the comment immediately but it didn't bother me, I was just as mad at Edward as I was before.

"How long have you been doing this?" I asked, I really wanted to know.

"Centuries, I started when I first was changed by Maria, it was sort of an outlet for me, to distract me from my thirst and job." Job?

"Job?" He looked down and sighed. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

"No I do want to…Bella when I was with Maria, all we did was train newborns for her super army. I would spend every second of the day locked in cages with them, killing some just to survive." Jasper looked up and he had a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"I never knew, Edward didn't tell me any of that," he scoffed and held my gaze.

"Edward doesn't want anyone bringing up their past lives before we started this family"

"Hmm…Alice must've read all of your books then"

"She's been very busy… but yes she has read a few."

A few? I had only read about sixty pages in Jasper's book and I already wanted more. How did Alice only read a few? I didn't push this thought any further. I had only been in Jasper and Alice's room about twice, but now that I was looking around, I noticed a few things. Alice's once packed closet, only held about fifty outfits. This was very unlike her. There were no pictures of them, like I had of Edward and I in the cottage. But the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that on a small table in the middle of the room, sat a case of dead roses. Alice would never leave something like that, the room was somewhat divided.

" I'd like to read more, if you don't mind," the corners of his lips formed a small smile. I was a warm smile, something I hadn't seen in a long time. I returned it graciously.

"You are quite a character Bella," I laughed.

"Is that a good thing?" I asked looking into his amber eyes, he laughed.

"Very."

I gently took the book that he offered me, reading the title before I began: _The Ballad of Darkness_ by Jasper Hale. We sat in silence as Jasper wrote and I read. His story was enchanting and I had finished it within an hour. The characters were so vivid in my mind. I think Jasper read my emotions because he grinned.

"I'm glad you like it"

"I loved it Jasper, I've always wanted to write, but… I don't know" I added weakly. His eyebrows rose.

"What's stopping you?" What was stopping me? I had been doing nothing almost every day.

"Nothing." What Jasper did next surprised me, he darted to a chest and pulled out a crimson red journal, filling my lungs with the aroma of leather.

"Where do you get these? It's beautiful" I ran my finger up and down the spine of the journal.

"Everyone has their secrets," was this a secret? I mean where he got the journals from. His face went serious again. "Do you want to know?" Of course I wanted to know, it was killing me not to.

"Use that emotion to start your story."

Immediately I caught on to what he was saying and a surge of energy drove through me as I put the pen to the paper. We sat in silence again, this time both of us writing. My story was about a women struggling with two lives, two different identities. Her name was Tara Crinoff. I put the pen down and thought of a title. _In Between Currents_ I looked up at Jasper, who was looking at me.

"Done?" His left eyebrow with a scar running through it rose.

"Yes, but I'm not sure if it's good not." He frowned.

"Don't ever doubt yourself Bella, of course it's good…I can tell." I smiled, Jasper was very good at his job. I handed him my now finished story and he read it in less than fifteen minutes.

"Amazing…the imagery…the tone, Bella, are you sure you've never done this before?"

"Well in class, but not seriously"

"Bella, this is a great first book, you should be proud." I was happy, no I was beyond.

The natural high that I had tasted so long ago, was now so strong on my tongue.

"I'm going to show Edward." I said snapping up into a standing position.

Jaspers face was hard to read. It was great to spend time with him, but I needed to be with Edward right now. Throwing a last glance through the wooden frame door, I whizzed downstairs"

"Edward?" His familiar scent led me to the family room.

He was sitting on the couch alone, solid like a stone statue. I sat beside him, but his hard expression stayed the same. I placed the crimson book into his lap. He finally moved to look down.

"What's this?" he asked emotionless.

"Open it and see."

I was giddy for some reason. He did as told and began to read. I stared at his face, waiting to see his eyes light up when he reached the climax. But they didn't, instead they were narrowed. Was it really that bad? Did Jasper lie to me? He closed the book but didn't look at me. I frowned; I could feel every marble muscle in my face sag downward.

"Are you sure you wrote this?" He asked.

Maybe this was good, good that he didn't believe that it was truly me

"Yes, I'm sure."

"I didn't know you wrote."

"You have forever to learn new things about me," I added enthusiastically. "I just wrote it today"

"I'm glad you found a way to spend your time."

I frowned again, I always found time to be worried, and time to be sad and recently time to be write but nowhere in there was there time with Edward.

"Let's go home." His face was serious and indifferent.

"Are you not comfortable here?"

"Yes…you know I am, but I want some alone time with you. You've been so busy and-"

I was interrupted by his lips on mine. This was what I was waiting for, I told myself. What I wanted so badly these past months. But something was wrong, I could feel it. I hesitantly pulled away.

"No, stop," he looked at me confused.

I was his wife, his other half, his forever, if anyone could tell a real kiss from a fake on, it would be me.

"Please, don't do anything you don't want to," I said rationally.

I backed off the couch, I could feel pain searing through me.

"Bella-" He started but didn't finish because I was already speaking.

"Spare me the excuses just this once please, and tell me what's going on with you." He was silent. I stared at him. "Please" I added.

"There's a lot of my mind Bella, that's all." What though? What could be distracting him this much? "There's still trouble at the bank, Alice and I are working hard to fix it, but it's hard to think of anything else."

I felt guilty; I had made this into a big deal. I quickly sat back next to him.

"You're right… you do have a lot to think about…I'm sorry."

He needed to be alone right now, alone to think. I slid my shield away from me and told him that I was going to let him think. I squeezed his hand and smiled slightly. Upstairs I could hear a low snarl and hushed words. I could easily make out that it was Alice and Jasper. Were they fighting? That was impossible. Alice was never mad, not because her husband was controlling her emotions, but because it wasn't in her nature to be like that…unless provoked.

"Alice is under a lot of stress too," he stated pained.

"Why can't we all just talk about it together?"

"It's not that easy Isabella," I was taken back, he only called me this when we were hot in zeal, which we definitely were not, and when he was frustrated with me.

"Why not?" His fist made a booming sound as it slammed down into the white couch.

I could hear a barely audible crack. This was the first time that he was ever this angry with me, it was almost scary.

"Sorry," I said in a microscopic voice.

"You're always sorry Bella! I'm tired of hearing that you're sorry; just learn from your foolish mistakes."

I could feel my nonexistent beating heart break. It hurt too much to hear him say these things about me. I slowly lifted off the couch and walked out the door. I was surprised to see Jasper sitting alone. What was going on with my family? Was this what we had become? I decided that the only thing that was going to keep me comfort tonight would be me myself and my endless questions.

_I was surprised to see Jasper sitting alone._

"You too?" He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. I needed a break from this, I needed my Renesmee. "You want to go on a trip?" I asked hopeful.

"I could think of anything better than not to." He replied.

"I want to check up on Renesmee, do you mind driving?"

He grinned; Jasper loved my after car and jumped at any chance to drive it. I didn't bother telling Edward where I was going, he needed as much space as he could get. I packed some changes of clothes and Jasper graciously gave me three new journals.

"Aren't you going to say bye to Alice?" I asked getting into the car.

"She'll see it." I nodded, I was still curious about what they were arguing about.

But if I asked now, it would dampen the unexpected comfort I was getting from having Jasper with me. But still I wanted to know. Jasper didn't drive as fast as Edward did but at a calm speed.

"Thanks for coming with me Jasper," he turned to me and smiled.

"Anytime Bella," I smiled back, and began to forget everything that happened between Edward and me.

"Jasper?" He turned to me again still keeping the road in his peripheral vision.

"Yes Bella?"

"Yesterday, well early this morning, you said I was quite a character, what did you mean?" He took only a quick second to reply.

"I can never expect the same from you, it's refreshing." I was confused, I thought I was the same every day, had I changed.

"I don't get it"

"You know Bella, there's a world out there waiting for you. You don't have to stay in the house all day." This was true, before Edward and I used to travel all the time, but lately I was either at the cottage or the main house alone.

"Edward's been busy."

"You don't have to go with Edward, we're all here too." I had forgotten this, I had plenty of company.

"I'll remember that next time I have a craving to go scuba diving in the Bahamas" he smiled and chuckled a deep laugh.

"Does Renesmee know you're coming? He asked casually.

"Yes, I called; she's very excited to have her mom camping with her."

"I bet she is, Jacob is there too?"

"Like he would go without her." Jasper knew how much Jacob loved Renesmee, we all knew.

They also knew that Renesmee would not be allowed to day until she was eighteen years old.

"So I heard you and Edward arguing, is everything alright?" I huffed; I didn't want Jasper knowing how Edward yelled at me. How I let him do it.

"Yes, I guess things aren't so good right now, I inconsiderate of his feelings." Jasper scoffed.

"Bella, for as long as I've known you, you have never been inconsiderate."

"But I was Jasper, Edward told me that he and Alice are very stressed-" I paused, Jasper was tightening his hands on the steering wheel. "Why do I feel like I'm out of the loop or something?" His hands loosened.

"Sometimes it's good to be unknowing, but there is nothing that you won't be able to handle Bella, you are strong."

Jasper was right, I was strong. I'd been through so much and had survived; when the time came to be strong that's what I would be.

"Thanks Jasper, it seems like you're the only one who hasn't been avoiding me lately." Now it was his turn to be confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe I'm over analyzing things but Alice hasn't really talked to me in a while, I mean with Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett constantly at Denali, I just thought we'd be spending time together."

"That makes the two of us." I frowned, Jasper was feeling lonely too.

We sat in silence for a long time. I coughed unnecessarily, causing Jasper to look at me.

"I just wanted to say thank you, for um baring with me these past few day, I know sometimes I can be really annoying-"

"Bella, you're not annoying at all, maybe you were a couple of years ago, but you have matured into a very wise and caring vampire." If vampires could blush then I would be cherry red right now. I always thought of myself as the clumsy Cullen.

"Thanks Jasper, that means a lot, more than you know." He nodded sincerely.

"So what did Edward think of your book?" I frowned, Edward hadn't actually given me any kind of compliment or critique. I planned on lying to Jasper, telling him that Edward has loved my story and couldn't wait to read more. But I couldn't… it felt too wrong.

"He didn't really say anything, his face was unreadable." It hurt me to say this, I thought that being in love with Edward meant being able to tell what he was feeling at all times. I had failed in that category.

"Nothing at all?" I shook my head. A low snarl ripped through his teeth. Was Jasper mad? Why?

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just expected a little more from my little brother." When he said brother I could hear the anger that infuriation that came with it. I didn't have time to respond because my phone rang.

"Hey Honey"

"Mom, are you and Dad close?" I cringed, I felt bad for her.

"Your dad couldn't com, there's a lot going on with the bank, so I'm with Jasper."

"And Alice?" Jasper sighed.

"No, she had to help Edward." I could hear her sigh too.

"Oh ok"

"How's camping?" I asked hopefully

"Great! Jasper is teaching me a lot," not too much I hoped, I wanted to save some things for Edward.

"Sounds fun, I miss you so much sweetie." She was still just a seven year old in my mind.

"I miss you too mama" Hearing this made me even sadder. Jasper probably realizing it, sped up the car.

"I hope you're not causing trouble" I hated nagging but it was my job as a mother.

"No," she laughed. "I'm being a good girl, I just wish you were here."

"I'm really close, 5 minutes, let me speak to Jacob"

"Hey Bells"

"Jacob, it's good to hear your voice"

"Sure sure"

"What? Really Jacob I do."

"I know you're coming down here to check up on us Bella."

"Hey not fair, I miss my _seven_ year old daughter"

"I get it Bell, don't worry I've kept my hands to myself."

"I trust you Jacob, you know that"

"I know Bells, so how is every at casá Cullen," I laughed and so did he.

I couldn't tell him what was really going on. Was there something going on? I refused to think of it that way, Edward was just stressed. It happens to everyone.

"Things are…things are ok"

"You sure?" Jacob was always so caring when it came to my feelings.

"Yes I'm sure, I'm around the corner, and I'll see you in a few." I hung looking at Jasper, he was looking at me too.

"You need to be calm Bella, you don't want Renesmee making any conclusions." I could control my own emotions, but it was good to get the extra help.

I smiled at him as we pulled into the camping area. Renesmee was waiting for us, her bronze brown curly ringlets were still in the pigtails that I had put them in when she had left. She was wearing a pink shirt with small hearts printed on them, it was her favorite. Her jeans were long with the cuffs folded up. She ran to me with open arms, embracing me with a warm hug. Her fluttering heart beat was like music to my ears.

"Mama," she whispered gently into my chest.

"Renesmee," I whispered back into her hair, she smelled like the cinnamon body spray set that I had brought her last year. All my problems melted away as I held my daughter in my arms. "I love you," I told her, she said it back and ran to Jasper to hug him. I saw Jacob and walked to him."Jacob" I said, he laughed and pulled me into a bear hug.

"How's it going Bells?"

"Fine," he arched his brows.

"Where's Edw-"

"Busy." He rolled his eyes and walked to where Renesmee and Jasper stood. I followed.

"Are you guys staying?" Renesmee asked, I flicked my eyes to Jasper and he smiled. I nodded to Renesmee and she squealed.

"Jeez Nessie, what was that?" She hit Jacob on the head and stuck her tongue out, then placed her palm on my cheek.

She was worried, she had noticed that Edward and I were distant. I pulled her aside.

"Renesmee, honey, nothing is wrong, trust me when I say this." Renesmee looked up at me and smiled. I stroked her face. " Now why don't you show me, the fun you had." She grinned


	4. New Realizations

**Sorry its short guys I had mucho things to do! But since you guys are so patient i promise that mii next post will be **

** even longer. Much love JasperBells!!**

She grinned and placed her hand onto my cheek. This never got old for me, to see her colorful images. It was the closest thing to dreaming that I ever got. She showed me that she went swimming, hiking, and Charlie's favorite; fishing. Charlie never questioned why Renesmee was so big only after seven years, he only said 'need to know'. Renesmee dropped her hand from my face and took my hand in hers. She was walking me to her tent. Once inside she sighed and immediately sat to my side, her head leaning onto my chest. I combed my fingers through her hair. Renesmee was my everything, she held me together, even when she wasn't around. I wanted so much for her future to include Edward and I… together.

"Have you eaten?"

"No not yet, Jacob wanted to wait until night, we should all go together mama"

"That's a great idea," I was thirsty, I hadn't hunted for at least 3 weeks.

The thought of it burned my throat, like someone shoved a hot rod down my esophagus. I started to hum Edward's song for Renesmee, it was a matter of minutes before she fell asleep in my arms. Oh how I wished to have dreams again, to sleep, to feel rested. Renesmee twitched slightly and her hand found its way to my neck. She had remembered how I liked to watch her dream. This dream was bright and clear. It was the day the Volturi came, the day that almost killed us. She kept playing when Edward and I embraced each other and how she was in the middle. Suddenly it stopped and it showed various images of Jacob. Now I knew she was really sleeping. She had shown me those other images to make a point of how she hated to think of us as separated. How much did she know? Probably more than I do, she has her ways of getting information. I slowly tucked her in her sleeping bag and left the tent. Jacob was cleaning up and Jasper was looking up at the sky again.

"Looks like a book," I said, pointing to one of the clouds. He smiled and pointed to the one next to it.

"What do you see there?" I narrowed my eyes. The cloud looked like an elephant, but I didn't want to sound stupid.

"What do _you_ see?" he chuckled and bit on his lip.

"It looks like an elephant," I laughed and he looked confused.

"I was going to say the same thing, but I didn't want to sound… stupid" I looked down.

"It's never stupid to share your thoughts and imagination with others"

"Wow spoken like a true author"

"Actually let's make a truce, if we have something on our minds, we will always share it… with each other.

"Deal" I added looking into his dark eyes.

"Hey guys, we should talk" Jacob said.

"About?" What was Jacob talking about? What did we need to talk about?

"Are you serious Bells? I haven't seen you so depressed, even Nessie can see it.

"I'm not depressed Jacob, don't be ridiculous. Yes things are hard but far from depressing"

"Why do you always say that?" I was starting to get angry.

"Do what Jacob?" I said almost hissing, Jasper put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Down play your emotions, why can't you just tell me what you're feeling when you're really feeling it?" Why couldn't I?

"Why are you pushing this Jacob? Why can't you just let me be happy with my daughter?"

"I can let you be happy, but what affects her affects me, so whatever it is spill it. Did your loveable blood sucker hurt you or something?"

"No. Jacob, Edward has nothing to do with this," lies.

"Then what Bella, enlighten me please"

"I…I just miss Renee" more lies.

"You, you miss Renee?"

"Yes, I spoke to her about four days ago and I realized how much I miss her." Even more lies.

"I know it's hard but you're doing it to protect her." I felt bad for bringing her into this, I mean yeah I missed her but it really was all about Edward.

"I know, but I'm here with Renesmee now, so please don't get on my bad side," he laughed and smacked my back.

"Just looking out for you Bells."

"I know," he turned on his heels, yawning.

"Where exactly are you going?"

"Sleep, Nessie has kept me up all morning."

"Oh, well tonight, later we'll hunt okay?"

He nodded nearly napping at the tents opening, then stumbled in. Jaspers hand was still on my shoulder.

"Why did you lie?"

"I don't want my burden on them, I could just be worrying for nothing." He sighed.

"You do whatever necessary Bella."

"Thanks." Now I was bored. Jacob and Renesmee were sleeping and I was just standing here.

As if reading my mind Jasper handed me another journal. This time it was plain and bigger.

"I can't wait to read what you write next." I grinned; I couldn't wait to read what he had next.

Standing up all night would draw too much attention, so I sat on a log and patted the empty space beside me. Jasper sat and pulled out the gold pen he was using before. The words came out of me in frenzy, and flowed out from me like a free falling waterfall. For some strange reason, writing with Jasper I knew would make me feel _well_. Cared for. I hadn't noticed before but Jasper was watching me. Not with eyes of a big brother, but with eyes of a devoted fan and that didn't bother me. I never saw Jasper as a brother, just as someone who followed Alice around, her other half. Was this the same way that he saw me? As an unnecessary limb that hung from Edward's beautiful body?

"Jasper?" He immediately shut his book, giving me his full attention.

"When I first came to your house, what was running through your mind?" he seemed thrown off, but answered anyway.

"Honestly, I didn't think that you were capable of keeping our secret, but as time pasted I could see that you were only a threat to yourself." He laughed at the end. My clumsy days as a human were still not forgotten by the Cullens.

"Haha-"

"But you're different Bella, your character from your human years has drastically changed" I didn't know whether to feel happy or sad? Was it a good thing?

"How?" Maybe I was pushing it, would he actually tell me

"You tell me," he said. I thought for a while.

Though my human years were fading, I could still remember being so weak, fragile, I was stronger now. But those characteristics were inevitable; becoming a vampire meant not being weak. I also remember being so submissive to Edward, constantly worrying. Then it hit me, I had become more independent. No longer did I wait to be told to do things, I was more liberated.

"Okay I see what you're saying… I have changed."

"Yes you have Bella." Moments passed in silence again.

"May I read it?" I was more than glad to let him read it. He took a quick ten minutes and handed it back. "Bella I'm surprised to see your choice of vocabulary?" I frowned. "No, no not that in that way. You always know how to make it work best for the character."

"Thank you Jasper, really," I smiled.

He nodded and continued to finish his book. I heard a rustling coming from the tent, Renesmee must be awake. Surely enough she emerged with her hair matted to the side of her face. She danced toward me and sat near Jasper.


	5. Closer

**heyy guys I really hope that you enjoy this chapter... a lot is going on for Bella and maybe a secret might come out!!! Please review!! Thanks again to Sarah and Beatie**

She danced toward me and sat near Jasper.

"Are you writing mama?" Her light musical voice had a hint of curiosity in it.

"Yes, would you like to read it?" She smile d a huge smile and took the book from my hands.

She sat in silence, laughing at necessary points and feeling sad at the other times. It took her longer to read it. She stooped halfway with her eyes open wide.\

"Mama you're going to be famous," I laughed, I wasn't looking for fame but for an outlet.

"Honey I'm not writing to be famous,"

"Then why?"

"It makes me feel good Renesmee." She nodded and handed back the book.

"Let's go hunt." I nodded to her and sprang up in one quick movement, as did Jasper.

"Should I wake Jacob?" she asked sweetly.

"Has he eaten?"

"No," I nodded at her once more and within four minutes, she was pulling a very tired looking Jacob out form the tent.

Jacob and Renesmee did their normal thing and hunted together, leaving Jasper and I alone. I've seen Jasper hunt before, but I hadn't really paid attention. While Edward almost melodically and Emmett like a caged beast, Jasper's hunting technique was somewhere in the middle. He attacked his prey from the back sinking his teeth into its jugular then turning to face it while he drank. He wasn't messy but wasn't entirely neat either. I was full and had drained two small deers, I could feel the blood sloshing in my stomach. I could hear that Renesmee and Jacob were still hunting. I turned to Jasper who was looking at the black sky, he was doing that a lot lately. I joined him at his side, staring at the chain of stars.

"Jasper while you hunted you-"

"I can't help it," he slumped down to the ground with a somber look on his face. I sat with him. "Maria, she was so ruthless, she didn't care about emotions or any of that, and only how she could use my gift to antagonize the newborns." He sighed; I took his hand in mine and squeezed hard. "When I would hurt the newborns, I had to look them in the eye, I guess I can't really shake it off, I'm ruthless," It hurt me somewhere to see him in so much pain.

"Jasper, it isn't any of your fault, it doesn't matter how you hunt… you are not that person anymore," He looked at me warmly and looked down at our hands which we entwined, I pulled away and looked down.

"Thank you Bella," he turned to look up at the sky, tracing an invisible line connecting the chain of stars. I smiled and followed his lead, it was strangely… comforting.

Renesmee and Jacob reappeared from the trees holding hands, I gave him one dark look and he released her hand.

"All done?"

"Yes!" she took my hand; it was still warm from when Jacob was holding it. We ran back to the tent where Renesemee let out a long yawn.

"What have you guys been doing that has made her so tired?"

"Nessie doesn't like to sleep, she's been pulling me along on every activity here non-stop." This worried me; I knew how cranky she could get when she didn't get enough sleep.

"Sweetie, you're going to be here for another three weeks, you have plenty of time to do whatever you want, but you have to sleep too."

"I know mama, I just wanted to see you."

"I'll be here when you wake now go and sleep." She nodded and kissed my cheek and hugged Jasper before ducking into the tent with Jacob.

It was weird to think of how things hadn't changed, when I was with Renee I had acted so motherly towards her, and now I was doing it with my own daughter.

"Let's go," Jasper took my hand and started to run.

"Where are we going?" We ran for about ten minutes and now were on top of a high peaked mountain. He released my hand and sat. I followed and sat near him. "Where are we?"

"I'm not sure, I just wanted to make sure we were far enough for Renesmee not to hear.

"Oh." Now I knew what was coming, he wanted to talk about Edward.

"I think we should go back soon, home I mean"

"But we just got here"

"I know Bella but Renesmee, I can feel that she is immensely worried about you. It's hurting her to see you this way."

"Am I that bad of an actress?" I asked unimpressed with my own skills.

"It's not about acting Bella, the more you try to hide it and keep it locked in, the more she can see it on your face, she _is_ a part of you." He made sense.

Renesmee would have a better time it I wasn't here, right now I need to be fixing whatever it is that has broken me so much.

"You're right Jasper, I guess I thought by seeing Renesmee it'd make me feel better, not that I'm

I'm not feeling better. I mean I got to see her and you're doing a lot too."

"Me?"

"Yes… I'm not sure how to say this but" What was I trying to say? I couldn't finish my sentence, I could feel that something was wrong and so could Jasper.

We raced back to the tent. There were big white trucks and men in suits everywhere.

"Jacob!" he appeared from the trees with Renesmee by his side.

"Bells everything is ok"

"What's going on?" I took Renesmee's hand and pulled her to me.

"Some kind of breakout of a disease."

"What?"

"Yeah, we have to stay in the area, apparently we've all been exposed to it and we're being quarantined."

"No, no we don't, I'm taking Renesmee and leaving.

"Bella they've already seen us, we have to stay." Jacob was right; attracting anymore attention to us by mysteriously disappearing would be a bad idea.

"What disease is it?"

"I don't know, some long word though"

"It's necrotizing fasciitis, a flesh eating disease." A man in a white suit interjected.

There was no risk for any of us here, not even Renesmee. We had learned that she was immune to every kind of disease and that her skin was impenetrable. One day while Edward was teaching Renesmee how to ride her bike, even though she was capable of learning on her own. She lost balance when Edward pushed too hard and fell on her face, a hit that should've broke her nose. I yelled at him for not running to save her but he told me that he was curious to what would happen. Renesmee is a vampire on the outside but human on the inside. After realizing this we immediately took her out of school until she was about five years old. So we would have to stay here and act human. The man in the suit took one look at the ring on my finger and Jasper's and spoke.

"Sorry kids but you two have to stay here, along with those two over there, you and your uh… husband, are going to have stay here. I took one look at Jasper.

"Oh , he's not my husband" he shrugged.

"Well whatever the case, there has been a dangerous discovery of the disease so we have to keep you here until we get everyone checked up.

"And how long will that take exactly?"

"Well seeing that we have limited contact with the town nearby, I'd say at least two days"

"Okay thank you."

"Do you want to call your parents or something? We have phones," parents… I'd have to call Edward so he wouldn't be worried.

"I have a cell." He nodded and walked back to the trucks.

I pulled out my cell phone from the navy purse I had been carrying. Without a second thought I speed dialed Edward. It rang, and rang, and rang, then went to his automated messaging system. I snapped the phone shut, this had never happened before. Edward always picked up on the first ring, and if Alice was around, he would know that I would be calling. I was furious and it showed, because I finally felt calm.

"What's wrong?" I was greeted by this cold and out of breathe voice after I dialed five times.

"Well nice to hear from you too." Jeez would I have pull these kinds of things out from him?

"You know what I mean." And of course I didn't, I didn't know if he was asking me because he was genuinely concerned or annoyed.

"I just wanted to tell you that we're not going to be back until two days, there's been an outbreak of a disease."

"Yes I know, it's all over the news"

"Oh, well I just didn't want you to be worried. We will be back sometime after that I guess."

"Any time specifically?"

"Um not really," I was going to let him know that I was mad. "When we're ready you'll know."

"I really wish you would've told me where you were going." I took a couple of steps away from Renesmee and the others, knowing that the conversation was about to get violent.

"You heard perfectly clear where I was going Edward" I half expected for Jasper to come and soothe me but he stood where I left him, listening intently.

"Just because we have good hearing doesn't mean we eavesdrop."

"I find this very unlikely Edward, seeing that you used to sit outside my window every night"

"That's different, things were different then." His voice trickled with irritation. He was right though, things_ were_ different.

"Then why don't you come, Renesmee misses you."

"I **told** you I was busy." This phone call was just getting worst.

"She's your daughter Edward, there's no time for cliché excused, I don't argue I just want you to come and be with us… your family."

"Bella, love" my non-beating heart melted, I hadn't heard him say those words in so long. "If I come down there, it'll attract attention." True.

"I know but she-"

"When the two days are over, bring her with you guys and we'll all take a trip to Esme's island." Renesmee loved the island. Ever since we brought her there for her birthday, she couldn't get enough.

"Ok okay"

"So you'll be back in two days right?" Why was he making me confirm it?

"Um yeah"

"Okay well I have to go"

"But we just got back to talking like normal."

"There'll be plenty of time for that later Bella"

"Okay..I love you" I heard the phone click before I had finished saying okay. When I turned around, only Jasper was standing there… a very mad Jasper. "What's wrong?" his teeth were visibly clenched.

"Bella… Bella don't you see?" I was confused.

See what?" His jaw loosened and he relaxed.

"In time Bella, you will see" He said nothing more before darting into the trees.

**Wow I wonder why Jasper is so mad? Please review and tell me what you think. Much luv guys!!**


	6. Bonding Time

**Omg thanks for the great reviews guys... I love you so much that i typed 12 pages~!!! only for my wonderful readers lol. Thanks again guys. Please review!!- Jasperbells:)**

He said nothing more before darting into the trees. I could've easily followed him, but it looked he needed some alone time. My mind flashed backed to when Jasper and I were talking about how much I had changed. I remember I had made Edward upset when I cancelled all his business meetings for a romantic trip to Cancun. He hated not knowing before and told me that he liked things to be planned. Then a couple of months after that I had left the house to take a trip to New York, at night of course, to buy a pair of rare jeans for Alice. He didn't talk to me for days. Edward hated when I did these things, he seemed for happy when I followed him around the house waiting for him to do anything with him. Did he expect me to wait forever?

I was getting lonely; Jasper left to vent, Renesmee and Jacob were sleeping, and I was alone…again. What was Jasper talking about before? That I'd see in time? Was I missing something? I huffed; again I was out of the loop, something was going on, but I just didn't know what it was yet.

The men from earlier sat in their trucks, but one of the younger looking ones couldn't keep his eyes off me. I knew being a vampire meant being beautiful, but I wasn't wearing anything special. I looked down. I had on tight low rider Levis; my favorite and a navy button up. Not much of a campers outfit but still just ordinary. Then it hit me like a nail on the head, this was my chance to get out of here, to be with Edward sooner. I know it's wrong to dazzle the poor guy but this was the only way that I could get out of here. I unbuttoned to top of my shirt slightly, revealing a small pale cleavage. I walked to him, determined to get back home.

"Hi my name is Bella, what's yours?" God I sounded like a dumb blonde. He looked around then pointed himself, I nodded, smirking a bit.

"Um, um," he was stuttering. I found his name tag and spoke.

"Nathan?" He smiled awkwardly, revealing a set of somewhat discolored teeth. He nodded fast. " Do you think that I could talk to you alone? If you don't mind?" Of course he didn't mind because he almost tripped while walking to a small clearing. I could see that Jasper was now watching my shallow attempt, but he didn't look mad, but amused. "My family and I, well we really need to get home."

"We can't let anyone leave Bella, sorry but this is an emergency," I pouted and stepped closer to him. I wasn't really comfortable so I stepped back. Who was I kidding? This wasn't me, I didn't do these things… but I couldn't help it… I had changed. I stepped back even closer.

"Not even for me?" I could hear his heart race, the sound set my throat ablaze. Oh how easily I could just drain him dry no. No now would see or hear, only Jasper. I wondered if he would join me or stop me. I was enjoying my thoughts when Nathan began to speak. I backed away.

"I could distract the others while you guys leave, I mean you haven't been processed yet"

"That would be nice." He tripped again and ran back to the trucks waving his hands frantically. I ran to the tent to see that Jacob was awake shaking his head in disapproval. "Oh shut up, you would've done the same"

"Sure sure. I'm all packed." I smiled knowingly and darted to the tent to get Renesmee into the car, she was still sleeping.

"You surprise me everyday Bella," I smiled at Jasper.

"You didn't expect me to stay here for two whole weeks did you?" To this he only had one thing to say.

"I only wish that poor Nathaniel didn't have to suffer, he almost had a heart attack." Jasper laughed.

Whatever had made him upset, was now a part of the past. We were all in the car; Jacob had fallen asleep again and was leaning on the window. Jasper started it up when I noticed that I had forgotten to button up my shirt. I quickly did so, throwing a side glance at Jasper. He wasn't looking. Of course he wasn't, I was practically his little sister. But Jasper never called me that, only Bella and at times Isabella. We were out of the area within seconds and speeding down the midnight road.

"Are you going to call Edward?" I threw him a amused look and scoffed.

"No, he'll know when we get there." He smiled; using those eyes if a devoted fan again… or was it something else? I turned the radio on, adjusting the volume so it would wake up the two in the back. Classical music was playing. Jasper and I hissed simultaneously, we laughed.

I see I'm not the only one who is tired of the piano and classical music." I didn't want to admit it, but yes I was. It was all the played in the house, year after year.

"Sometimes it's good to change things up." I flipped the station to some jazz music. The saxophone that was playing was so soothing, it reminded me of Jasper. I was immediately relaxed.

"Good choice." Jasper said sounding also relaxed. I closed my eyes almost expecting to start dreaming. But there was no dream, just darkness.

We drove for about two hours until we arrived. We walked into the empty house, it was excruciatingly quiet. Edwards scent was all over the place, the table, the couch, upstairs. He must've been pacing. With Alice? I sniffed some more, her scent was entwined with his. I remembered that they both were pretty stressed and must've been pacing together.

"Where's dad?" Renesmee asked.

"Probably upstairs in Carlisle's study honey, why don't you go and check." She smiled and hopped upstairs. I looked in the direction of Jasper, he was angry again. He darted up to his room before I could ask what was wrong.

"Um" Jacob stammered. I turned to him

"What?" he looked suspicious… but sad.

"I'm sorry Bella" Sorry for what? What the hell was going on?

"For?" He was looking down. His head snapped up.

"Um, sorry I have to go, I should probably tell my dad I'm back. So yeah I'll be going now"

"Okay?" What was Jacob hiding? He placed a quick kiss on my forehead before leaving.

I was angry now, why did it feel like everyone was in on some kind of a secret? I could hear undisguised snarls coming from upstairs. I matched the voiced to Jasper & Alice. I knew that if I listened in it would be an invasion of privacy but I couldn't help it.

"_How could you be so stupid?"_

_"Jasper"_

_"Couldn't you see that we were coming? How could you do this again? _

_"You were with Jacob…I'm sorry"_

Then it was silent. I got one thing from the short fight they had. Something was going on between Alice and Jasper. How could I be so transfixed on my own problems when Jasper was going through his own battle. Now it was all coming together for me. Jasper and Alice were fighting, badly. And Edward was spending time with Alice to cheer her up, to give her advice. They weren't pacing, he was giving her suggestions, probably arguing here and there. No wonder he was so distant, seeing them fight is hard for him. Alice is his best friend and Jasper his older brother. Now I felt guilty. I felt guilty for being so mean, poor Alice. I always thought that vampires would be happy together forever. I ran upstairs to the study, it was quiet. Renesmee was sitting in the corner with tears streaming down her face and Edward at the desk. Why was he just ignoring her?

"What's wrong?" I've been saying this lately. But I knew what was wrong…she heard too. After Rosalie, Renesmee adored Alice; he shopping buddy. She didn't say anything and slowly got up to leave to the room.

"I guess it's hard for her" Edward said looking at me.

"She loves Alice, but it must be hard for her to know," he ran to me.

"You know?" his eyes were eager.

"Of course I know Edward, how long did you think you could keep it from me?"

"I wasn't sure how to tell you." So this was the secret, the big secret everyone was hiding from me.

"The truth, you could've told me the truth."

"I didn't want to hurt you," placing my hand on his face I spoke.

"It only hurts when you keep things from me, it's sad that Jasper and Alice are fighting, but now we know and we both can help them." He looked confused.

"Jasper and Alice?"

"Yes, that's the secret you guys have been keeping, but you don't have to go behind my back anymore, I can help fully." He leaned away.

"I thought you weren't coming back yet," the coldness was back.

"Yes, but Renesmee missed you so much, I just figured we'd surprise you. You know, leave for the island early."

"I wasn't prepared for you guys yet." I frowned, he sounded weird.

"Oh, well we can leave tomorrow then; I know she'll be happy." He let out a n exasperated sigh.

"Alright then, why don't you get packed."

"Okay." I leaned into him stroking his face. "Now we can finally get back to our life, no secrets." I whispered into his lips before kissing him gently. I didn't want to pull away but I had to get ready. I was half way out the door when he spoke.

"Don't say anything to Alice; she just wants things to be normal." I winked and left the room.

Alice didn't need me to remind her of her pain, so I wouldn't say anything. I ran to her room, Jasper was gone but Alice was on her bed looking at her nails.

"Hey Alice." She looked up at me; there was so much sadness in her eyes.

"Oh…hi Bella." I sat beside her.

"I was thinking, since I'm bad at packing clothes, you could help me."

"Where are you going?" Her voice lacked the musical quality that it always had.

"Edward is taking Renesmee and me to Esme's Island."

"Oh," she added softly.

"Yeah, I'm hoping it'll be romantic." She nodded absent mindedly

"I'd love to help, but I'm really busy Bella."

"Oh, okay, well I guess I'll see you in a few days." She smiled and nodded.

I left the room. Leaving would give Jasper and Alice the time they needed to be together, work things out. I followed Jasper's scent down into the basement. We rarely went down there; it was more of storage. He was in the corner digging through boxes.

"Looking for anything in particular?"

"Yes, a book." A book? Wouldn't it be upstairs in the library? If I knew anything about our family, it was that we loved the library.

"Why would it be down here?"

"I put it here."

"Oh, do you need help? Four hands are better than two."

"Thank you Bella." I began sifting, though we were vampires with super speed, it could still take a while; the basement was crowded with junk.

"So what does it look like?"

"Brown, old, a carved JW on the front." As in Jasper Whitlock? Were we looking for a book that belonged to him? Then I spotted it, sitting in a box with other brown books.

"Is this is?" Jasper whipped behind.

"Yes it is." I handed it to him and he took it, flipping through. It looked old… centuries.

"What is it?" He smiled and took my hand, bringing out from the basement and outside. I didn't feel uncomfortable by his gesture; we had been spending a lot of time to together… almost a week now.

"This is my first book ever," his first book? Ever?

"Wow, but what is it doing downstairs? In a box"

"I'm the only one, well except for you, who has kept their human things."

"You wrote this when you were human?"

"Yes, my very first book." Wow again. "I don't remember writing it, but I know it's my first because it written on the inside." I flipped it to the first page, in capital letters was Jasper's name and a date.

"This is amazing, but I still don't get why it was in the basement."

"As you know, Alice doesn't have any memories of her human years, I didn't want her to feel sad." How sweet of him.

"I'm speechless Jasper." He smiled and in the moonlight his scars were instantly illuminated.

"Can you read it?" Of course I would, I'd read it over and over again.

"Of course Jasper." I hugged it to my chest.

"Tell me what you think honestly, imagery, vocabulary, and setting, all of it." I felt honored.

"I will when I come back, I promise." His expression changed.

"When you come back?"

"From Esme's Island, we're going."

"You can't go Bella," I frowned.

"Why not?"

"Don't you remember what tomorrow is?" I thought hard, tomorrow was July 18th, nothing special.

"The Volturi," I shivered. Then remembered that they visited every year to insure that Renesmee was growing and to offer her a position, which every year she denied. This would be the last year that they would come, Renesmee was forever 17.

"Darn."

"Didn't Edward remind you?"

"No! And he always does." I was furious; did Edward forget too? Or did he offer the trip to shut me up? "Edward would never forget something like this." He wouldn't the Volturi came every year, gifts and everything. Even apologizing for seven years ago in the clearing. They'd come back again on the 31st, there was no time to go to the island to relax, or anything. "Why, why would he do this?"

"I've been asking myself that for a long time Bella."

"What do you mean Jasper? And this time tell me, everything…please." Jasper and I had gotten closer, not brother and sister close, but very close friends, there were no secrets.

"Bella."

"Please Jasper remember that deal we made. If this about you and Alice… then I already know."

"Alice and I?"

"Yes Edward told me, I'm sorry you guys are having a rough time but it'll work out. It always does." Jasper looked mad, actually mad wasn't even close. He was livid.

"He told you what?" Oh no, wasn't I supposed to keep it a secret?

"Yes… don't be mad Jasper."

"He told you what exactly Bella?" he was a little more called now.

"That you and Alice were fighting a lot and that's why he was so busy with her."

"You believe that?"

"Aren't you guys fighting?"

"It's more than Bella."

"I know Jasper, but I'm not going to leave you, I'm going to help you through it."

"Who is going to help you then?" Good point.

"I don't need help, right now I just want to see you happy Jasper." It was true, Jasper had done so much for me, and it was my turn to help him. He smiled his Jasper smile and looked at his book.

"Why don't you go and make sure Renesmee is okay, we need to get you ready for the Volturi." I grinned and ran back towards the house.

Renesmee was on the white couch sleeping. Under her eyes were puffy and red. I slowly picked her up and started toward the cottage to put her in her bed. After getting her settled I went toward the meadow.

"Ready?" I grinned again at Jasper.

"More than" he was focused. We stared to circle each other. This training would help; my shield only protected us from special attacks, not physical. He lunged at me twice failing. I had my mouth pressed to his cold marble neck within seconds. "I've got you." I hissed into his neck, and then released him.

"Like a natural fighter Bella, great job." I could see it in his eyes; he was planning on attacking me again. I was having too much fun, if I let him attack me we could train more, but if I dodged it, he's say that I didn't need any more training. I let him take me down. I heard a rock break into dust under my head. I didn't want to leave…not yet.

"Bella."

"Oops, I guess I wasn't focused."

"Like I said you're a horrible liar." I smirked.

"Okay okay, I just didn't want to go back yet… I'm having too much fun being with you."

"I have the same feeling Bella, so much had changed hasn't it?"

"Yes it has, a lot." I frowned, usually change brought good, but this brought nothing but heartache, if I had a heart." I never expected his." I said, sliding a hand between him and me. He looked disappointed. "It's good." I added quickly. His smile returned.

"You are a great friend Bella."

"You too Jasper, it's funny I've never seen you as a brother." He laughed.

"Same here Bella"

"I'm glad I have someone here I can talk to without being lied to." He looked down.

"Yes"

"Can we do that move again?"

"Sure." We practiced all say until late night. I was happy that I had him. I knew that with Jasper, nothing was fake, it was all real. It made me happy to know that I could depend on him for the truth when I needed it.

**Thanks for reading guys hope you liked this chapter!! took ages to type lol leave a review please!!!**


	7. Higher Grounds

**Heyy guys i wanted to give you something to hang on to since i wont write tomorrow... thanks for the great reviews!~**

**Much love- Jasperbells!!!**

Things are slowly getting better, who am I kidding, things are just the same. The only thing that I look forward to is writing…with Jasper. He doesn't seem to mind me hanging around; he looks like he actually enjoys my company. It was the next day and I was in my room, when Edward came in.

"You look tired," not that he could ever be physically tired.

"Very." He voice was straight forward and hard.

"So did you forget too?"

"About?" he said getting into the bed.

"July 31st? The Volturi's last visit."

"I didn't forget," he was calm.

"Then why would you offer going to the island?"

"I thought you wanted to go?" Is he serious?

"I did, I mean I do, but you know it takes a while to plan."

"Yes…do you want to go?" Ugh why is he doing this to me?

"We can't, why are you still offering it? You always remind me about this day and you didn't this year."

"You seem to be doing a lot on your own Bella." What's that supposed to mean?

"What do you mean?"

"Bella, please I don't feel like it tonight, I don't want to argue."

"Okay then we won't"

There was something off about him. I know Alice was his sister, but why was he letting it affect our relationship? I crawled towards him, making small circles on his blue button up.

"Renesmee is sleeping and since we'll be busy all this week and the next, we should take advantage of the time we have now."

"Bella,"

"What?" I looked into his eyes, tying my best to impersonate someone sexy. He didn't reply but instead pulled me to him, kissing my neck lightly.

"I'd feel guilty knowing what Alice and Jasper are going through," stop.

"Stop, I spoke to Jasper, he told me that there is nothing that they won't be able to work out." Well he didn't really say that but I really wanted this moment to happen.

"Really?

"Yes really, he wants us to live our life."

I kissed his lips, opening his lips with the force of his tongue. Instantly he was on top of me, tearing at my clothes. This sudden urgency was too rough, as my hands were pinned about my head. This wasn't Edward. He craned his head down to massage my neck with his mouth. Though it didn't hurt, it wasn't pleasant either. Edward was moving too fast, too jagged. He wasn't giving me any time to enjoy any of it. This Alice thing was affecting him more than I thought.

"Stop," he immediately released me, as if expecting it.

"What's wrong?" his voice was monotone.

"I just remembered, I promised Jasper I'd read his book." This was true, so it wasn't a complete lie. I released my hands.

"Another time then?" I nodded grabbing the book and escaping through the deck door.

I was greeted by a cool breeze, as I sat on the steps and started to read. The book was like a work of art, it was different from Jaspers writing now. It clearly had a southern twang. I had to find Jasper to tell him how much I adored his book. The tone was so captivating, Jasper deserved to be famous. I followed his scent back in to the clearing. It was still strange to be here. He was there in the middle, practicing some moves.

"Jasper!" he turned at the sound of my voice. I was so excited, I was sure that if I was alive at the time Jasper was human, we would've been best friends, maybe even…

"Finish?" I had to show him how much I wanted to be his friend, for some strange reason I wanted to hug him.

I stretched my arms encompassing him. It only took seconds before I felt his arms around me, he smelled like roasted almonds, it was comforting. I released him.

"Jasper, this maybe is the best book, I've ever read…in my life."

"Thank you."

"It's different from you work now, but very familiar, I feel so proud of you!"

"That's the best critique I've ever gotten."

"This, this book, your entire book collection, they need to be published. Doesn't matter if it's anonymous, people need to read your work Jasper."

"Published?"

"Yes, and if you don't I will. We can get a pen name, who knows maybe J Jinks can help."

"Good idea."

"Let's go now." I was so giddy, I wanted this for him.

"Now?"

"Why not?"

"Maybe in the afternoon, after Renesmee has eaten?"

"Okay, meet me at the cottage around 2:00pm, don't be late."

"We're vampires Bella, we're never late." I smiled and then took full speed back towards the cottage. Renesmee was helping herself to some blood in the fridge.

"Hey honey, how did you sleep?"

"Not so good, I feel like someone had dropped an anvil on my head." She rubbed her temples.

"Maybe if you didn't cry so much last night, you wouldn't feel so bad right now."

"I couldn't help myself mama, it's so sad, how can you even be happy right now?"

"Because Jasper and Alice are working out their differences, you don't have to be sad for them."

"Jasper and Alice?" Why was everyone saying that every time we talked about them?

"Yes, Jasper and Alice, who else?" She quickly gulped down the rest of her blood.

"No one," she flicked her eyes to the clock.

"So what are you up to?"

"Do you think you can drop me off at La Push?" Ever since Jacob became Alpha, he had changed the treaty; only the Cullens were allowed to pass through.

"Sure," I grabbed my car keys and started out the door. Once inside the care Renesmee turned towards me.

"I love you mama," he r sweet voice was so innocent, she was just seven, my sweet seven year old.

"I love you too, more than my own life." She rubbed the locket around her neck.

"Have fun with Jacob and be careful please"

"Okay,"

"Are you planning on sleeping over?"

"Yes, but at grandpas."

"Alright, tell him I said hi." She gave me a quick peck on the cheek before disappearing into Billy's house.

**Renesmee's Pov**

I walked into the familiar house, I'd been here countless of times, Jacob was staring at me. He always stared but it didn't bother me, he was my Jacob. It didn't take long for me to put the pieces together, Jacob had imprinted on me, and we were tied together forever. Mama explained to me after I told her about my discovery; I wasn't allowed to do anything with Jacob until I was 18, not that I want to, Jacob is just my friend.

"So what do you want to do Nessie?" his gruffly voice made me feel better.

"Talk," he looked confused, I guess it was because I always wanted to play… mud pies would have to wait until later.

"Sure Ness," he sat on the old beat up couch, I followed and sat beside him.

"I think… I think dad is having an affair," I waited for the shock on his face, but it never came.

"I know," what? I felt speechless.

"You know?"

"Well I had my suspicions; I just didn't say anything, poor Bells."

"How did you figure it out?"

"Well yesterday pretty much confirmed it; the house reeked of them…together."

"Yea, I smelled it too, but mama was so distracted she didn't even smell anything, or she did but thought it was something else."

"It's sick, his own sister,"

"They're not really brothers and sisters, remember?"

"But still," he clenched his fists.

"How could he do this to her, to me?" My voice started crack and Jacob pulled me close to him.

"How does Jasper even go through it? Does he even know?"

"Of course he knows Jacob, it's written all over his face,"

"No offense Nessie, but your mom is slow," he was right, why couldn't mama see the signs?

"I need to tell her," I jumped up only to be pulled back down by Jacob's strong arm.

"No Nessie, you can't do that,"

"Why not Jake?"

"It's not our secret to tell, Edward has to do it himself."

"And what if he doesn't? What if he never tells?"

"I know it sounds bad but he have to Ness."

That's when I started to cry, I hated the thought of mama suffering, but I was angry too, I started to punch Jacob's chest. He didn't move instead he rubbed my back, offering hushed sorry's. My own father, Edward, was cheating on mama…with Alice. I looked up to her. After Rosalie, Alice was who I wanted to be like when I got older. She had a great fashion sense and she never let anyone down…until now. I hated her with all the burning in my heart. I wanted her to feel all my pain; I wanted them both to suffer. I suddenly didn't want to be in this body, he was a part of it. My cheating father was a part of me, did this meant that if Jacob and I ever got married I'd do the same to him? I placed a hand on his cheek to let him know my thoughts.

"You're nothing like him Nessie."

"Are you sure?" I sniffled.

"I see more of Bella in you than that leech." Usually I would hit him when he said such things but today I didn't. For now I would keep this secret but I promised myself that if Edward didn't tell mama the truth by the 31st, I'd do something drastic…join the Volturi.

**Bella's Pov**

After dropping off Renesmee I drove around aimlessly. I was now 2:00 and I was waiting at the cottage for Jasper. He knocked on the door and I let him in. He was wearing a tight grey and purple argyle sweater and black pants.

"Ready?"

"Yes, I'm so excited!" He laughed.

"Me too." We drove to the familiar building J Jinks owned. We had never been here together. After the Volturi came those many years ago, I had made myself the permanent liaison for meetings.

"Ah Bella, so nice to see…looking um very youthful." I smiled, he was very old now.

"Nice to see you too."

"And Mr. Cullen, you look well," I could feel his heart speed up. After all these years, he was still scared of Jasper, this revelation made me laugh.

"Thank you."

"So what can I do for you today?"

"We need to get something published, can you do that?"

"Would you be using your real name? Or penname?" I turned to Jasper.

"Penname."

"Okay, any ideas? Or would you like for me to just make one up?"

"No," interjected. "We'll think of one." He nodded and waited. I whispered to Jasper in a voice only he could hear. "Any ideas?"

"I don't want it to be too far from my name, but not too close either," I thought for a quick second.

"Do you have a middle name?"

"Yes, it's Blake," it was so weird to hear it, I like Jasper better.

"Okay well how about Blake Whitlock?" his eyes lit up, he like it.

"That sounds great," I turned to J.

"Blake Whitlock." He nodded and scribbled down some words.

"Do you have what you want to be published?" Jasper and I had decided to only publish his first book to see the public's reaction. Jasper had typed it.

"Yes." I handed him the typed book that Jasper had titled _Resurfacing_. J examined it once and nodded.

"Fill this form out," he handed two papers to Jasper. Jasper pulled out his gold pen and started to fill them out.

"How long will it take, I mean until the book is in the book store?"

"Unfortunately Bella, a while. I haven't used J Jinks press in years, it's going to take time to purchase ink, paper and hire workers."

"We'd pay extra" he sighed.

"It's not about the money; it's just going to take time." I really had hoped to see it in a book store by next week. I had been doing that lately; having unrealistic expectations.

"Okay I understand, so how much will this all cost anyway?" Money wasn't a problem; I had stuffed enough in my bad to feed the starving kids in Ethiopia.

Since you two are my favorite customers-"

"No, just give us the full price," Jasper interpolated. He nodded and wrote it down. I took one quick look at the paper. 250,000 dollars was written, scrawled to be more specific. I nodded.

"So do you mind if I ask?"

"Yes I do mind," Jasper stated quickly, I threw a sympathetic look to J. I didn't say anything though; it was Jasper's book, not mine. We left after giving J the money. I half expected for the ride to be silent.

"We should get back,"

"Why the rush?" Yes Bella. Why the rush? My mind was siding with Jasper on this one.

"I need to see Edward," His expression was completely readable, he was disappointed.

"Need? …. Forget about what you need Bella," he placed his hand on top of mine.

"What do you want?" I wanted to drive with Jasper nonstop; I wanted to write with him nonstop.

I wanted to train and laugh with Jasper My want was drowning my need. As if he could read my mind, he smiled and removed his hand from mine. What was I doing? What were these feelings? Then it dawned on me, Jasper was becoming my friend… my best friend.

"So where to then?" I asked, he grinned.

"Anywhere _you want_ Bella." He emphasized you and want. I remembered reading about a book store opening in Olympia.

"In Olympia-"

"Book store opening, one free book each to first hundred people there." He finished my sentence. I grinned. It wasn't so much about the free book, but going to the store…with Jasper.

"How did you?" he cut me off again.

"I've been waiting for that city to get a better book store for years now."

"Really? So you want to go?" Of course he wanted to.

"Yes," I couldn't help but to let out a squeal. I was excited.

"Now I see where Renesmee gets it from, what was that?" he laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"That, that right there was the first time I've felt happy in a long time Jasper… thank you.

"Me? I did that?" I rolled my eyes playfully again.

"You've done a lot for me lately Jasper, I only hope that us hanging out has brought you the same happiness it has brought me." I was looking down now, waiting for the painful blow of him not saying what I expected.

"Bella," he turned to me completely, still driving at a steady pace.

"These past weeks have been the best for me, you've become someone I care a lot about," he paused maybe to think. "A best friend Bella, you've become that to me and so much more." I smiled, I feel the exact way.

"Whew," I rubbed the nonexistent sweat off my forehead. "I'm glad you feel that way too Jasper, you have become my best friend also." He smiled his warm Jasper smile and continued to drive. But what did he mean by '_so much more_'? Did he mean like BFF or more? I didn't really care; I was too excited about going to the store.

When we finally got there, it was packed with humans. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea, I knew that there was still a part of Jasper that struggled with being around humans.

"We can go if you want," he laughed.

"I wouldn't attack in a crowd this big, too much attention."

"I didn't mean to, I just want you to be comfortable."

"I'll be fine… I promise." He smiled then got out of the car. Once inside, it was like we were giving out free candy. All eyes were on us. They stared like deers caught in a headlight, they looked some more than scattered.

"I never really got used to that," he laughed.

"It's natural for them to look…you're beautiful," He started down the fiction aisle, I followed behind.

"You are too," I laughed, it sounded so cheesy.

"Of course," he tossed some hair back mockingly I slapped his arm playfully. Again we acted as if we were connected; reaching for the same book.

"Ladies first,"

"Why thank you Mr. Whitlock," I took the book from his hand. _Life Expectancy_ by Dean Koontz, I loved all his books.

"You like Dean too I see," he said.

"Yes, his work is so…so"

"Captivating."

"Yes, that's the word, I think I'll buy this one, we can share it." He smiled.

"I'd like that," walking further down the aisle I started to laugh.

"Do I know the joke?"

"Oh don't mind me,"

"What is it?" I pulled book from the shelf and handed it to him.

"Marked?" It was a book by P.C Cast and Kristin Cast. A book about vampires.

"Yes, I read it a couple of months ago, very funny."

"Really?"

"Yes, I was curious just to see how the human mind would write about us,"

"Anything close?" I got serious.

"Very…far from it"

"I guess I should read it, we can laugh about it together later." Fireworks went off in my stomach. What was this feeling? Why was I looking forward to it so much? Did Jasper mean more to me than I thought?

**Review please.. thanks luv u guys**


	8. Finally

**omg guys this chapter is very important... Bella finally hears the secret. Please review!!**

**Much love, Jasperbells!!!**

I made a mental note in my head: _Discuss book with Jasper later_. We made our way to the cash register encountering a very stressed looking teenager.

"Omg you're going to love this book!" she pointed to _Marked_. "It's such a page turner." Her nasal voice was becoming very annoying. Jasper just smiled, I on the other hand didn't. "I bet if vampires did exist, they'd be just like this; evil miscreants who cause trouble while preying on the innocent." She was getting very excited… too excited. I nodded faking a smile to the best of my ability. Finally we were out of the store and back on the road to home.

"I thought she'd never stop talking,"

"Yes, I could see it on your face."

"Wow I guess I really am a bad actress."

"Yes, yes you are…. but an amazing writer."

"Not as good as you though, Mr. Blake Hale."

"No you're even better."

"Oh please, you've been doing this for way longer than me."

"Let's just say we're equally matched." I nodded, arguing with Jasper never happened.

We were at the house within twenty minutes. When we entered the house I followed Edward's and Alice's scent upstairs to Carlisle's study. They were sitting reading bank statements.

"Where were you two?" Edward asked, Jasper moved to my side.'

"Out." He answered back. Edward nodded before Jasper even finished saying that word.

"We went to the book store to get some new books." I added in, in hopes of trying to of lightening the mood.

"That's nice."

"Have you spoken to Carlisle yet?" Jasper directed his question towards Alice.

"He'll be here tomorrow, along with the others. Tanya and all." I smiled; it had been a while since I'd seen them. Renesmee would be excited too.

"Let's go home Edward," I tugged at his sleeve, he didn't budge.

"Bella," I didn't care. I used my strength and pulled him to his feet.

"No buts, no excuses, our cottage misses us, let's go," I gave him a stern look, nice Bella had gone out the window.

"What has gotten into you?" He asked harshly.

"What do you mean"

"Since when have you been so demanding?" he replied back. I let out a low laugh.

"Since now, come on." He didn't protest but instead followed along. Before leaving the room I winked at Jasper. "Tomorrow we train." He smiled and nodded.

Edward and I spent the night exchanging awkward kisses and conversation. I wasn't at all bothered though. I was too busy thinking about Jasper… my best friend.

**Betrayal**

Tomorrow the Volturi would be coming, Jasper and I had trained for it every day… we were ready. Edward was still acting weird, but I didn't spend any time trying to cheer him up. It was hopeless. I just figured that after all this was over Edward and I could get back to where we were before. I was out in the clearing practicing on my own.

"You've turned in to a professional." Jasper was standing at my side. He was right. We had spent hours every day together, of course I was a professional.

"I learned from the best." I smiled warmly.

"You know that a fight might not happen tomorrow."

"Yes but it feels good to be prepared." He nodded. I could quickly recognize the look on his face; he wanted to tell me something important.

"What is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I can see it on your face; you have something to tell me."

"On my face?" I sat on the grass and he did too.

"Whatever it is you want to tell me, just tell me." I took his hand in mine and smiled.

"Bella… I need to tell you something." He was serious. He stroked my hand, it felt good. "I've been very dis-" his sentence was cut short by Alice.

"We need you guys in the house, Tanya has arrived." I nodded and started toward the house leaving Jasper. I felt guilty, really guilty, if Jasper was going to say what I thought, then I had some thinking to do. But not now.

"Bella, I's good to see you!" I hugged Tanya and her strawberry blonde curls bounced into my face.

"You too Tanya," I _was_ happy to see her but very confused about what just happened with Jasper, I hoped it didn't show on my face.

"Why aren't you with your mate? Trouble in paradise?"

"Um no, I was just training alone in the clearing."

"Oh ok, where is your beloved anyway?" Edward appeared my side in a quick second wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Hello Tanya, I'm glad you could make it."

"Of course I would come, I absolutely adore little Nessie, where is the young one anyway?"

"At her grandfather's"

"Is Charlie well?"

"Yes, thank you for asking." Tanya threw a quick look at Edward and me and smirked. She walked away leaving us alone. It was quiet as his hand slowly dropped from waist.

"You can drop the charade."

"What are you talking about?" I sighed.

"Pretending like we don't have a problem, please Edward just talk to me."

"Not now Bella, after we'll talk I promise." He placed his lips onto mine. I waited for the fire to rush through me, but there was nothing, no fireworks or anything. I remember when I was human; how just a touch from Edward had left me breathless. But now there was anything. I spent so long building up this relationship…was it really going to go down? I had a whole lot to think about. I pulled away.

"I should go pick up our daughter." He handed me the keys to his Volvo. I took it and walked at a humans pace out the door. Jasper was standing near the car.

"Want company?" of course I wanted his company, I always did.

"You read my mind." He opened the door for me and I got in. "Thanks." I was still a little worried about what just happened between Edward and me.

"You're worrying." I nodded.

"Big time."

"About?" his voice was calm and soothing. I parked the car onto the side of the road.

"I just kissed Edward, well actually he kissed me." Jasper looked sad.

"Isn't that a good thing?" I shook my head and started the car back up, continuing onto the road to Charlie's.

"It should be, but I felt, I felt nothing!" His expression changed.

"Nothing?"

"Yes! This is not good Jasper, not good,"

"Calm down Bella," I was calm.

"You're overreacting." Maybe I was.

"How?"

"You and Edward haven't been physical in a while; it's only natural that his kisses would feel like kissing a stranger." Jasper was right; it had been months since we kissed with ardor. Of course it would feel weird.

"You're right." He smiled and looked straight at the road. When we got to Charlie's we could see and hear Jacob and Charlie arguing. I hurried to through the door and into the living room.

"So not saying anything will protect her? From what exactly Jacob? She'll end up hurt regardless. Charlie bellowed.

"What's going on?" I stared at Jacob for answers.

"Nothing Bells, just chatting." Charlie scowled.

"Just tell her Jake, please."

"Tell me what?" Jaspers hand was on my shoulder.

"Nothing Bella." Jacob said calmly.

"Jacob!" Charlie was in his face now.

"Okay if someone doesn't start talking now, there will be hell to pay."

"Bella your hu-"

"Bella is a vampire." I looked at Jasper in shock.

"A what?" Jacob opened his mouth to speak.

"How dare you!' I stepped away from Jasper as a low snarl ripped through my now clenched teeth. In a split second I was on top of Jacob. I felt four hands pull me off.

"Calm down Bella." I looked at Charlie then to Jacob, he had fear in his eyes.

"How dare you Jacob that was not your secret to tell."

"I was trying to explain that to Charlie here." Charlie tossed a look at me.

"A vampire?" he started to laugh. I sat back, why was he laughing? "A vampire? Do you really expect me to believe that?" He ran a hand through his now gray hair.

"Are you ok dad?"

"I'm good Bells, Jacob has made a point." He nodded at him.

"Ok what is going on? Before it seemed like you wanted to tell me something."

"It's nothing Bells." He started to push me through the door.

"Why the rush?"

"No rush Bells, I just know that Nessie really wants to get home." I could see he was right; she was already in the car.

"Okay, but we talk later…all of us." I eyed Jacob.

The car ride was silent. When we got back to the house Renesmee went straight to the cottage.

"What's wrong with her?" I turned to Jasper searching for an answer.

"Her emotions are really mixed, but she's mostly tired." I nodded and slumped onto the white couch. I was tired too, but unable to sleep. "What's on your mind?" I turned to him.

"How there seems to be some secret, I hate not knowing things." I sighed. "I'm just glad that I can trust you, I know there aren't any secrets between us." I got off the couch; I could hear that Carlisle was calling me. "I'll see you on the field." He nodded once. I walked upstairs to the study.

"Thank you for coming Bella." I could see that everyone was here. Jasper walked in after me.

"What's up?" Alice got up from the chair.

"I know that I can't clearly see Nessie but I've been practicing some new things."

"Okay?"

"It was a little blurry but I saw Nessie…with the Volturi." I would've fallen back if it wasn't for Jasper holding me up. My voice was suddenly weak.

"With the Volturi?" I added meekly.

"Yes, just standing near them in the clearing." My knees gave out, Jasper carried me to the couch.

"How, what…but why?" Would Renesmee accept Volturi's offer this year? "Look again…now!"

"Bella, I'm not sure it's possible, it hurt so much to. I think this was a onetime thing."

"We can't be sure what it means Bella," Jasper said. I nodded. Alice's visions were subjective, changing rapidly. I sat up near Edward. Maybe it was something I did. I let my overbearing shield fall, wanting only to hear my thoughts.

"I'm such a bad mother." I looked toward him for comfort but his eyes were cold. I realized that Edward no longer hungered for my thoughts.

**Jasper's POV **

I watched as the woman I cared so deeply for, sulk under the pressure of misery. She was in pain, partly because of me. If I had just told her the truth maybe this wouldn't be happening right now. She looked at me, suddenly I could feel it again, genuine love. She managed to smile.

"I guess I should talk to her."

"That wouldn't be a bad idea." I added after her. She smiles and I swear that I felt the dead heart inside of me beat.

I looked at Edward, he really didn't care. He was sending out emotions of frustration and lust. But the lust wasn't for Bella, for Alice. There was absolutely no feeling of guilt nor regret. I suddenly felt disgusted, Bella was like a beautiful flower, but after these past months, Edward's nonexistent love wilted her.

"Ready?" she looked Edward who pretended to be busy with papers. She nodded and started toward the door, I followed. Finally we were alone.

"You must know Bella, that none of this is your fault." She stopped in her tracks.

"How could it not be? You said so yourself Jasper, I'm a horrible actress. Renesmee might be doing this because she is tired of me, me being in pain." I instantly regretted saying those words to her. I put both hands on her shoulders. I had to fight the urge to sweep her up into my arms and kiss her, ravage her.

"Bella,-" I started but she was already walking away. It hurt to see her so confused. Maybe I should just tell her now; tell her that our mates were being unfaithful…with each other. I watched as she walked to her small cottage. I ran to catch up with her. "Give her support Bella, she's just confused. She smiled.

"I just want to help her." She had determination in her voice.

Bella always looked beautiful when she was determined. When we go to the cottage Renesmee was fast asleep. I looked at her. She was so much like her mother but little of her father too. I frowned; I always wanted what he had; a loving wife, family-in-law and a daughter. He had it all and was wasting it. I envied Edward for a long time but now I had something Edward didn't have, I had Bella.

**Bella's POV**

That night I sat in the cottage with Jasper, laughing and talking. Hanging out with Jasper always melted all my problems away.

We all were in clearing: Tanya, Kate, Garrett, Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, and Renesmee and of course Jacob. Jacob would never let me go through his alone. I had decided that talking to Renesmee would only make things worse. I closed my eyes, last year when were standing here, Edward and I were inseparable, now it was the complete opposite. I promised myself that I wasn't going to think about this today. Sometimes I wish I could shield myself from my thoughts, life would be easier without the constant current of questions. But I couldn't and so my thoughts run free.

I was giving up on Edward; slowly I stopped caring about how he was feeling. He was keeping something from me, that secret was driving us apart. I was just a trophy to him, something he had won a long time ago. Now kept on a shelf for when he needed me, dusting me off now and then to give me false affection. I hated myself for giving up so easily, but had I really? Edward has promised me forever, did I really expect it to be smooth ride?

"They'll be here any minute." Alice sang.

I looked at her; Alice was such a great friend. I knew that I f things didn't go so well or if Edward and I needed counseling or something, that she would be right there by my side holding my hand, and now so would Jasper. I knew that for a fact.

And like they did every year, the Volturi materialized for the mist and fog that gathered at the far right. They didn't waste any time as they advanced towards us at an amazing speed. Aro still looked the same, his long hair hanging slightly past his shoulders.

"Looks like this will be the last time we'll see each other my dear friends."

"You're welcome to visit anytime you want Aro." Carlisle stated plainly.

"That's very nice of you Carlisle… and wise." I rolled my eyes; I just wanted this day to be over.

"And Bella, you're looking lovelier than ever." I feigned a smile.

"Thank you, how _is_ dear Jane?" I was slightly sarcastic. He smiled acknowledging my sarcasm.

"Let's get this show on the road, there's a game on."

"Yes, Edward may I have your hand?" Edward looked at me and I smiled reassuringly, for some reason he looked guilty.

He strode to Aro and placed his hand into Aro's. Aro absorbed it all, laughing at time. Then he was silent. H had the look of utter repulsion on his face. He threw Edwards hand back and looked at me… with sadness?

"Okay I can trust your images Edward, Renesmee had grown, there are no more reasons for us to visit." It was over; Alice's vision hadn't come true. "Before we go, Renesmee, your gift would be a great asset to our family. Are you interested in coming with us?" I looked at Renesmee, she had the look of anger in her eyes; something I had never seen before. She started to walk. She stood at his side. I felt my dead heart die all over again as she stood there with him. I had spoken too soon.

"Before I answer," she looked at Edward with piercing eyes.

"Renesmee please, don't do this." Her anger turned to sadness as she looked at me.

"I'm doing this for you mama. Tell her dad, tell her the truth." I turned to Edward.

"What's going on?" Everyone looked unsurprised even Aro.

"Tell her dad, now!" I had never heard her use nothing less than her sweet voice.

"Nessie, stand back next to Bella," She shook her head violently.

"No, I've seen her go through enough pain, this ends today." The secret, the secret everyone was hiding, Renesmee knew too? So was it only Jasper and me out of the loop.

"We don't have all say my sweet Renesmee." Aro hissed.

"Tell her or I'll go with them and I won't come back."

"No!" I almost ran to her but I stopped myself, this were the Volturi I was dealing with. I looked at Edward. "Please just tell me, save our daughter Edward." He opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it. "Please," I was practically begging now. I'd kiss his feet just to save my baby.

"She deserves to know," I turned to see Alice speaking now, she looked guilty also.

"Bella," Edward began.

I looked from her to him over and over again. I could feel the cobwebs inside on my mind being pulled away as my mind started to piece things together. I felt like my knees were about to give out again. Impossible I told myself, that would never happen.

**Cliffhanger! the next chapter is coming up next today so yall better review lol please thanks guys!!!**


	9. Gone

**I do not own twilight i just write about them**

**here it is enjoy it cuz i wont be posting until monday!!! review plz**

**Much love, Jasperbells!!!**

I pathetically dropped my shield. In my mind I spoke to Edward.

"You promised me forever."

"You broke promises too," Edward spoke out loud. The audience watching seemed frustrated only to hear only half of the conversation. But I couldn't bring myself to speak…it was too painful.

"But why?" I felt a sob choke in my throat.

"Things happen Bella, its life." Why was he brushing it off so nonchalantly? This was our life, our daughter. Gaining strength for my voice I spoke.

"You and Alice?" It hurt just to say it. I felt so betrayed, my husband and sister, practically my best friend. He didn't speak, I waited to feel the wave of calm that would hit me from Jasper but he stood planted near Esme.

"But you promised forever," I had already said that but everything was passing in a thick haze. In the background I could hear that Renesmee had left her mp3 player running. _Black bird_ by the Beatles was playing. I felt like that bird, all my life I had waited for my moment to arrive and I thought it had when I married Edward but now I wasn't so sure. "But why?" again he was silent. "I love you so much, how could you do this to me? To our Renesmee? Did I change that much that you would che- do things with Alice?" The looks on their faces were almost too painful to watch, Esme was sobbing. Suddenly I was pissed. "You lied to me! All those times you said you had meeting you were… with her!" A loud snarl came out from me. I turned stiffly toward Alice.

"And you! You ruined my family, my dreams, my everything. I wish I was still a newborn, I'd rip your head right out from its socket. I'd watch it burn as your arms and legs pathetically tried to latch back together. Why! Why would you do this to me? I trusted you with my family." I stormed to her slapping her face callously. She stumbled back from the force. The anger disappeared and sadness came in. My voice broke as I spoke.

"I always dreamed of a happy ending but this is not what I imagined at all. Husband and sister? You guys make me sick. I spent so long being your fragile porcelain doll Edward, almost being killed by the Volturi, almost killed by James and the newborns, now this." I fell to the ground; I had no support left in me. I whispered, "You should've let the truck crush me that day."

"Don't say that," how dare he open his mouth.

"What do you want me to say?" I stood. "That I'm okay with you sleeping with my supposedly best friend?

"No I don't but you could handle this a little more rationally."

"You were right Edward, you are a monster, you have no heart. Or are you totally clueless on how to be a good husband? You left Jasper and I in the dark just so you could have sex with Alice." I looked at Jasper. But he wasn't looking at me, he was looking down…ashamed.

Then my whole world was falling, just standing was hard. I needed to hold onto something… but I was alone. More pieces to my broken puzzle of a life were coming together. Jasper had known too, he always seemed like her was hiding something but I would've never guessed that it could be this. I struggled to open my mouth to talk to him…my best friend.

"Jasper." I managed to croak out. He didn't move. I walked slowly towards him until I was within arm's reach. He looked up at me, I could feel his sadness, and I could see it in his eyes. "Jasper, you knew?"

"Bella," he took in a deep breath in and continued. "Yes I knew," and like a grenade going off, my life was blown to pieces, this time the pieces would be irretrievable. The only person that I actually trusted knew of Edward's dirty secret and didn't tell me. I looked around…everyone knew.

"You all knew?" I took their silences as a yes.

"I was-"

"What? Please, please don't say you were trying to protect me."

"It wasn't mine to tell."

"But Alice, she's your wife! Do you think that I'd keep that from you? I'd tell you Jasper!" I was sobbing now.

"Bella please, you have to understand, I wanted to tell you but you've been through so much, I didn't want to see you go through anymore pain." He looked at me searching for some kind of sign of my understanding but I didn't understand this at all. I wish I were dreaming…but I can't dream.

"How long have you known?"

"A while, maybe six months." I counted in my head, Jasper and I have been hanging out for about three months. So he knew before. How did he deal?

"Six months?" I turned to Alice who was looking Edward.

"Jasper I trusted you, do you remember? That day when we went camping, we promised never to keep anything from each other, to always be honest… you lied."

"I was doing it for you Bella,"

"Are you delusional? How would this help me? You should've told me!"

"I'm not sure you could've handled it Bella… but you're stronger now."

"What if Renesmee didn't pull this stunt today, would you have told me?"

"Probably not," I was hurt more than before, Jasper had become something more than a friend to me…I love… no I don't, he is just like Edward….keeping secrets.

"All of those times we were together, you didn't really want to be with me, you just wanted to hide me from the truth."

"Never Bella!" I was with you because I wanted to" he reached a hand to touch me but I pulled back violently.

"Don't …don't touch me."

"Bella please you have to understand when I found out I was crushed. My Alice, my wife, my mate didn't want me anymore. All those months passed slowly Bella, I didn't want for you to feel that."

"It doesn't matter Jasper! You lied! I trusted you but you just led me on, pumping me with happy endorphins so I wouldn't find out,"

"I want for you to trust me again,"

"Again? Look around you Jasper, you belong in this crazy messed up family, no me… I never did," I whispered the last part. I started to back away from him. "I will never trust any of you guys… you all knew and kept it from me… I'm not the same fragile Bella I was before." They all looked heartbroken, too bad I didn't care. "I was perfectly fine before you guys came into my life,"

"Bella I'm so sorry." Esme's small voice rattled. "We just found out a few days ago, we didn't know what to do."

"So you lied?"

"We didn't lie" Carlisle cut in.

"But you didn't tell the truth, do I mean that little to you?

"Of course not Bella, don't blame any of us here including Jasper, he did the right thing. He just wanted to protect you." I started to laugh; I could feel an explosion rising in me.

"Enough!" I screamed, it echoed around the surrounding trees.

"Bella calm down please."Jasper voice was no longer warm to me, but a stabbing reminder to the pain that he was causing me." "I'm leaving" I stated plainly.

"Leaving?" he frowned.

"Did you expect me to stay? What do I have here that would make me stay?"

"Me," I scoffed.

"There is absolutely nothing left here for me, not even you." It hurt to say the last part.

"You don't mean it, you're in shock"

"Shock? I don't even care about those two over there anymore; they can have each other, but you Jasper?" I started walk towards Renesmee.

"Let's go Renesmee," she nodded.

"I'm sorry Aro but I will never join your family… I have my own to fix" I cringed. She took my hand and we started to walk.

"Ahem… are you guys forgetting someone?" I turned to Jacob's voice.

"It's not like I could stop you from following." I tried smiling but failed. I took one last look at my family; they weren't that anymore, they were a dirty stain that wouldn't wash away. Then I looked at Jasper, the man I had trusted with my life, he failed me. So I ran and never looked back.

**Review plz**


	10. A way Back

**Hey guys sorry for the wait I just wanted to add onto the suspense. lol And to answer some questions: no the story does not end here there is a lot more!!! Thanks guys and dont forget to review please**

**Much love Jasperbells!!!**

**Jaspers POV**

She was gone; I didn't bother to run after her. It would be useless. What had I done? I love Bella but I couldn't open my mouth to tell her. Anger was boiling through me. I charged at Edward knocking him to the ground, he didn't even bother to fight back. I snarled at him.

"You don't deserve to live," I hissed. Emmett was struggling to pull me off but I was stronger. Bella leaving made me stronger. "The only good that this family ever had was her and you let her walk away!"

"It's not like you did anything either." Was he actually saying this?

I imagined locking my teeth into his neck, hearing him roar in pain. He was no longer my brother. I lifted myself off him as Alice came darting our way, fake sadness oozed from her.

"Jasper don't hurt him its-"

"Yes I know, it's both of your faults," she looked down.

"I couldn't stop…stop myself from feeling this way." Her body was giving off pure love for him.

It disgusted me, Alice and I had a history. We traveled together for years and found this place on accident. A part of me wanted to go back in time and just travel forever, the other part wanted to leave this house, this family and find my Bella. To tell her how much I loved her. It was so easy to say in mind but in reality I feared her rejection, feared what it would do to me, I was selfish. But it was too lat, Bella was gone forever; she would never take me back. Even if I tracked her, she would never want my love.

**Bella's POV**

I didn't know where to go next, running away from things was unnatural to me, I always faced things head on. But now I was so unsure about everything. My mind kept going back to the day I met Edward. How fast we fell in love, how fast he broke my heart, how fast he mended it, and how fast it was over. I was actually happy that these human memories would soon be a part of the past. I didn't want to remember any part of my life that involved how obsessed I was with him. I cursed under my breath of how I would still have the memories from the past months. I would give anything just to travel back in time .I would stop myself from ever caring about Edward, I would stop myself from sitting next to him in biology class. But then I would have never had met Jasper. Jasper, I miss him so much. His face flashed in my mind again and again as I ran. I just couldn't get why he would keep that secret from me. I shook my head in an attempt to erase the thoughts in my mind. Renesmee placed her hand on my face. She was showing me the look on Jasper's face when we left. Yes he looked sad, but it couldn't replace the feelings that I had. Nothing could.

"It doesn't change anything," my voice was tired.

"But he's sorry mama," I took her hand off my face and placed it into her lap.

"It doesn't change anything," I said again, "If your father said he was sorry, would you forgive him?" She looked down and shook her head.

"I have no father." Her tone showed that she didn't want to talk anymore, I was glad.

Talking about what happened just made it worse. I would never think about what happened ever again. I looked at the plane ticket in my hand **ALASKA** was written in capital letters. It was the only place that I could think of while running. We made a couple of stops first to the cottage and then to Billy's house. Jacob had to give up his role as Alpha back to Sam until he figured out what he was going to do next. Seth was more than happy to take over for him until Jacob came back. But I wasn't sure if I would ever come back.

A loud monotone voice echoed through the airport, our plane was boarding now. Our new life was about to begin. I shook Jacob awake; he had been sleeping for about two hours now as we waited. He wiped the drool off his face and grabbed his back pack. I appreciated the support that I got from him, but I was still mad that he knew too. He knew the whole time that Edward was being unfaithful, and said nothing. Everyone lied to me. I wasn't going to be lied to any longer.

I watched as Renesmee slept, I was careful not to trip over Jacob sleeping on the air mattress close to her bed. Jacob had followed us to Alaska and was still trying to make it up to me, for keeping that secret that landed us here. It had been two years since that day and still hadn't forgotten it. I rummaged through the mail on the table. I spotted a too familiar script written elegantly on an off white envelope. It was another letter from Jasper. Somehow he had tracked us down and was sending me letter after letter everyday. I didn't bother to open it I just threw it into the fire that sat silently in the corner of the room. I watched flicker then disintegrate. The first time that I got his letter I did open it. He apologized, telling me how much he wishes he could turn back time so I could be happy again…together again doing what we usually did. But it didn't matter to me, he had betrayed me. It was time for my new beginning. It was now 11:00 pm, time for work.

I had to work in order to support Renesmee, Jacob worked while she was at school. I grabbed my car keys and left the apartment. I got into my red Chevy. Charlie had saved it for me and was more than happy to give it back. He told me if I need anything else, all I needed to do was ask. I drove down the street at normal speed, driving at night reminded me of Jasper; we always used to drive together. Probably coming back from training or looking at the stars, but we always drove together. I imagined how it felt that day when he held my hand, the warmth that radiated from his marble skin. I shook my head, pushing the images out of my head. I focused on the road, but like every night while driving, my mind drifted back to him. Seeing Jasper in my mind helped my days go by, even though he was in another state I could still feel his waves of calm hitting me, as if he right here next to me. I wanted… I wanted him next tom me but he had hurt me so much, I couldn't just let him back into my life.

I worked in a manufacturing company assembling toy trucks; the faster you worked the more you got paid. It was the only job I could get with a high school diploma, I never did go to Dartmouth, I was too busy basking in the glory of being Mr. Edward Cullen. I looked at my empty ring finger. I had flung my ring at Edward before leaving that day. I used my super speed to assemble 1000 toy trucks, and then clocked out. It was 5:00am and I was drained. Jacob was awake watching TV.

"Hey Bells, how was toy making?" I threw a piece of paper, he caught it instinctively.

"It was hell. I don't think I can even move my hands." I lied, because I could move, vampires never got tired.

"Sure sure," he flipped through the channels, I walked to sit beside him.

"Are you happy Jacob?" Of course he wasn't, us moving here meant him giving up his role as Alpha.

"Of course." It seemed like we talked about this every morning.

We didn't talk after that but just sat in silence. Two hours passed and I woke up mentally to drive Renesmee to school and Jacob to work. He claimed that he didn't need to go to school and quite frankly I was glad because I wasn't sure how we were going to convince any school about his age.

I was alone now sitting on the couch; it was 10:00am. I went downstairs to get the mail, already knowing that Jasper's letter would be the heaviest of them all. I laid them on the table, not wanting to go through them just yet. However something caught my eye; a letter from Carlisle. I picked it up immediately. I had been hard for me to stay mad at him and Esme, just like it was hard for me to stop thinking about Jasper. It was light and still had his scent on it. I opened it in one quick movement; it was a check for 50,000 dollars. A pity check. I ripped it without thinking and shoved it back into the envelope. A small letter lay in the envelope also, I pulled it out.

_Please Bella, don't throw this away. We just want to make sure Nessie and you are okay, also Jacob. We still love you Bella, please just take the money and be safe. We miss you so much…everyone does._

_-Love Carlisle and Esme._

I felt my pulse speed up, or at least I thought it did. I missed them too, but there was no way that I was going to take their money. I grabbed a nearby pen and wrote in capital letters: RETURN TO SENDER! I had to return it now. I searched the pile for one of Jasper's letters and grabbed it, not wanting to give him any satisfaction and threw it into the garbage disposal. I doused it with water before turning on the switch. I watched as it shredded to pieces.

Why hadn't Edward bothered to right? Or even call? Renesmee was still his daughter. Of course she hated what he did, but everyday she watched the phone, waiting for it to ring. She waited for him to call her and I couldn't give her any excuses because there weren't any. Edward could easily find our number; just easily as Jasper had found our address. I did still have his last name, how hard could it be? But slowly I could see that she had given up. She barely spoke of him, she had no father now. She had Jacob and me only. We were her family. She hated that I didn't read Jasper's letter, claiming that she would've loved to get a letter from anyone. But she didn't know the pain that came along with reading any of his letters…I was too scared. I opened the door and started down the stairs. I violently shoved the letter into the mailbox. I decided that I'd go to the book store. It has been a while since I read, hadn't even wrote since I left, that was too painful also. I walked to the Barnes and Noble smiling at the middle aged woman at the register. Memories came flooding back , I was remembering being with Jasper, grabbing the same book he did while looking into his deep onyx pools of eyes. We never did talk about the book together; things were so busy because of the Volturi's planned visit. I walked over to the table of new arrivals and best seller. There on the table stood a too familiar title. _Resurfacing _by Blake Whitlock. Apparently it was a New York best seller. I couldn't move, my world stood still. The cashier made her way towards me.

"Ah so I see Blake Whitlock's book has captured your attention." I couldn't reply so I nodded. The cover of the book showed a boy struggling to stay afloat in a vast ocean of blue. "His work is so amazing, you should buy it, you'll never look at life the same way after." The irony was overwhelming.

I didn't say anything to her but instead walked to the counter. I pulled out the expensive $15.00 and walked out the door. The book felt heavy in my hands. I was happy though, happy for Jasper. He had done it, he was practically famous now. But of course no one knew who he was… only me. I walked into my small apartment and opened the book, I was about to turn the page to the first chapter when something caught my eye.

_This book is dedicated to someone I hurt, I'm sorry. I hope that one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I miss you – Blake Whitlock._

And at that very moment, I had forgiven Jasper. I sinking pain of guilt sank into my stomach. I had treated Jasper so badly when all he was trying to do was help me. I began to regret shredding his letter. Tomorrow I'd write back… but only if he wrote me again .What if it was too late? What if he had given up? I would have to think of this later, Renesmee would be back soon and she would be hungry.

**Jasper's POV**

Two years, two long excruciating years have gone by. Edward and Alice surprisingly have found forgiveness from only Carlisle. Esme is too weak to even look at him. They walk around the house like a couple, holding hands, laughing while Bella is in Alaska. They fight often, resulting in them not talking. Two years and I still haven't been able to stop feeling guilty, stop feeling the love that I feel for Bella. I would ask Alice to search for her but she's with Jacob and Nessie; she wouldn't be able to see a thing. Speaking to Alice would also be hard, I can't stand to see her or hear her musical voice, which now sounds like a broken record in my ears. The only thing that I can hear, are those last words Bella said to me that day in the clearing. 'Jasper how could you?' I flinched. I didn't want to remember her that way; sad and angry.

Instead I filled my mind with the sound of her laugh, the way her nose scrunched up just a little bit when she was thinking. The way her long brown hair seeming to shine even on the grayest of days. I missed sitting with her in silence watching her write. I missed sitting next to her in the car at night as we drove to no places in particular. I had missed it all. Esme walked into the kitchen interrupting my train of thought about Bella. She was still visibly sad, it would take years before she would be her normal self again.

"Hi Jasper." Her voice was low.

Esme was taking it the hardest; she had seen Bella as her own. Losing her was like losing a piece of her family, but her family was separated now. Carlisle, Edward and Alice were on one side while Rosalie, Esme and I on the other. Emmett was neutral, casually floating between the two groups, but often siding with us because of Rosalie. Esme's family truly was broken.

"Hi mom." She smiles.

"Are you going to send a letter to Bella today?" Her face was hopeful. But I wasn't sure how much rejection I could take. Bella hadn't written back in two years, why would she now?

"Yes." I wanted to make her happy.

"Good, I have a feeling Jasper, today will be the day." I smiled; Esme had said that every day for two years. Carlisle walked into the kitchen holding two things; my book and a letter. I could see that someone had writer RETURN TO SENDER on it…Bella.

"No luck, she sent it back." He handed me the envelope and I opened it. The check we had sent her was ripped. I held it close to my chest, breathing in the sweet scent she left behind.

"Congratulations son. New York best seller." I smiled modestly. It was all because of Bella, she had given me the push that I needed and all I did was push her away. Esme hugged me.

"I'm so proud of you."

"Bella pushed me to do it, if there is anyone who should be thanked, it should be her."

"Really Bella?"

"Yes, she didn't let me give up." She smiled sadly.

"Now go and write your letter." I nodded and ran into my empty room. I decided that this would be the last time that I ever bothered Bella.

_Please don't throw this away. I know that I hurt you; I know that hiding the truth from you was wrong but you have to know that I did it to protect you because I care about you. Every day without you is like a day without air (not that I need it but I think you understand). You must also know that I care deeply about you. I miss you my Bella, please write back. I'm sorry. – Jasper Hale._

_P.S how are Renesmee and Jacob? Please send my regards._

I sealed the letter but now before putting in my gold pen.

**Bella's POV**

Why was I so anxious? Jasper had probably given up. I was standing near the mailbox waiting for the mailman. I read Jasper's inscription to me a thousands of times: '_I miss you' _He missed me, maybe as much as I did for him. Finally the mailman came, moving at an incredibly slow human pace. I was impatient and grabbed all the letters from his hand. He was speechless as his gaze met mine. There was a letter from Jasper! I forked the rest of the letters to the man and ran up to my apartment. I sat on the couch and looked at the letter. I still smelled like him. "Jasper" I said out loud. Then I opened it, reading it fast then slower the second time. He called me his Bella. Oh how I wished I could cry, but this one time I would cry because I was happy. Then I noticed his pen was in the envelope, the pen he used to write all his stories. I sniffed it instinctively; the smell of warm almonds filled my lungs. There was no time to waste; I had to write back to him. I grabbed a notebook from Renesmee's room and started to write.

_Dear Jasper,_

_I can't believe how foolish I've become. I was so stuck in the past that I hadn't realized how much I missed you too. Your book! I saw, well brought your book. Jasper you did it! You are now a bestselling author. I couldn't be more proud of you. I'm sorry I didn't write sooner, I hope you haven't given up hope in me just yet. We can't erase the past but we can move on. You are and forever will my best friend…my Jasper _

_-Bella Swan_

_P.S Renesmee and Jacob are great, we're all doing fine. You might need your pen back!_

I looked at the letter making sure that I didn't leave anything out. I looked at the pen, Jasper would need it to write, I placed it in the envelope. I wanted to make sure that bad luck hadn't followed me to Alaska so I trudged through the snow to bring it to the post office. Hopefully I would get a letter back and maybe my Jasper too.

**Cliffhanger!!!! Review please**


	11. More than you know

**Heyy guys i hope you like this chapter!!! please review with any questions,comments or concerns. Thanks**

**Much love Jasperbells!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the song mentioned in this story **

**Jaspers Pov**

This day started like every other day since Bella left…alone. I laid onto my Bed. Alice wouldn't dare bring Edward to sleep in this bed. They didn't touch the cottage either, it smelled too much of Renesmee and Bella, even they weren't that evil. Esme and Carlisle had decided that they needed to take some time off to gather their thoughts. Rosalie and Emmett were at Tanya's. I didn't care that much to think about where or what Edward and Alice were doing. I walked outside when I say the mailman put something in our box. It was Sunday; mail wasn't supposed to be delivered unless it was certified mail. I didn't wait until he was far enough before I peeled to the mail box. My anticipation was short lived as I pulled a letter out from the box. It wasn't for me, or for anyone else for that matter. The man delivering the mail had given us the wrong mail. I could run after him, or I could face the fact that Bella would never write back ever again. It was a hopeless cause. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, it was Esme.

"Hey,"

"Any mail?"

"Mom it's Sunday, they don't deliver today,"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, anyway we did get someone else's mail, do you think I should go to the post office?"

"Yes I think you should, it would be the right thing to do."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

I closed the phone and sighed, it still had just sunk it that I would never communicate with Bella ever again. I pulled my jacket on and grabbed the keys to my car. The ride was quiet, I didn't feel like listening to any kind of music; they always seemed to find a way to be about Bella. Just like yesterday when I turned the radio on my room; Lucky by James Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat was playing and the only thing I could see was Bella.

_They don't know how long it takes_

_Waiting for a love like this_

_Every time we say goodbye_

_I wish we had one more kiss_

_I'll wait for you I promise you, I will_

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where I have been_

_Lucky to be coming home again_

_Lucky we're in love every way_

_Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed_

_Lucky to be coming home someday_

The song had gotten to me so much that I slammed it onto the wall breaking it to pieces. So listening to a song while in the car was a definite no.

There was a long line at the post office, it didn't bother me though; I had absolutely nothing waiting for me at home. By the time they had called next a good twenty minutes had passed. I walked up to the designated spot and tried my best to look friendly.

"I just wanted to return this," I slid the letter towards the middle aged man with the uniform. "It looks like they must've brought it to the wrong house," He smiled and took the letter.

"I guess that means you don't have your mail?"

"Actually no, but I'm certain nothing came in today,"

"You'd be surprised; people these days are sending certified mail more than the regular kind. Would you like me to check?" Would it hurt to check? Yes it would hurt, it would hurt to see the man come out empty handed. But Esme would appreciate that I checked before giving up.

"Sure." I jotted down my address and gave it to him. He smiled then disappeared behind an endless rack of boxes.

In exactly 2 minutes he reappeared with something in his hand. Immediately I knew it was from her. The smell of freesias was strong as he handed it to me.

"Hmm looks like you did get something. Have a good day," I smiled and turned just as he yelled next.

The ride home was quick and fast, I wanted nothing more than to be in my room while I read the letter Bella had sent me. I swear I felt my cold heart beat as I opened the letter. But instantly I felt my face frown as I saw my pen in the bottom of the package. This wasn't a letter of reconciliation; it was a letter of attack. As I began to read, a slow smile grew. Bella had actually written back to me to say that _she _was sorry. Everything that seemed horrible suddenly didn't matter, Bella cared about me. Everything was going to be okay… I had my Bella back.

**Bella's POV**

"Mom, they don't send mail on Sunday, and he probably just got it. You won't be getting anything back until tomorrow." Renesmee went on and on.

"Are you trying to make me sad?"

"She's right Bells…just be patient." The phone rang and I ran to it.

"Hello is this Miss Isabella Swan?" A high pitched voice asked.

"Yes, this is she."

"Yes, we have a very important package at the Post Office for you, from one Jasper Cullen," I squealed. I didn't even know that the Post Office was open on Sunday's…Renesmee made sure I knew it.

"Are you okay ma'am?" Jasper must've had a connection.

"Um, yes, I'm fine. When can I pick it up?"

"Now is fine."

"Isn't the Post Office closed at this time?" I just had to make sure.

"Yes, but Jasper Cullen is a preferred customer," she said proudly. A very rich customer I thought to myself.

"Ah, I see, okay I'll be there in two,"

Before the woman could reply, I hung up the phone and bolted out the door. When I got back I could see that Renesmee and Jacob had to left to see a "movie." I silently thanked Jacob and plopped down onto the couch to read. I tore the letter open, reading it slowly.

_My dearest Bella,_

_Words cannot describe how I am feeling right now. I don't feel alone anymore. Waiting two years for this day was worth it. You don't need to apologize; I just hope that you have forgiven me. I want you to know that you're all that I think about. I truly miss you and am glad to read that you still consider us best friends. I want you to know that even with you in Alaska, I feel very close to you now. Maybe you don't feel this way too but letters take forever to send, (or it's just me) maybe you could call? Never mind… we should take things slow. I would like to earn your trust Bella. We could instant message. Whatever you choose will be okay with me._

_-Jasper Hale _

_P.S my AOL instant messenger screen name is JBW_

I read it over again. I didn't think I could call, not yet at least. I don't think that I could hear his warm voice without wanting to run back home, which was a definite no no. But I could most definitely chat.

I pulled out my laptop and made a new screen name, BSwan. I would've used my old one but it was so stupid; 4ever. I shook my head and nervously signed on. I added Jasper as a buddy and immediately saw that he was signed on. Why was I suddenly shaking? This was just Jasper we were talking about; get a hold of yourself Bella! I double clicked his name, opening a chat box. I read his status: The most beautiful things in life are the ones you lost then get back. I started to type.

_BSwan: I'm here, well not there but… you know what I mean. _God I really was screwing this up. A message popped up instantly

_JBW: I know exactly what you mean Bella._

_BSwan: I'm sorry Jasper… for everything_

_JBW: Don't apologize Bella, I'm just glad that you're actually talking to me_

_BSwan: I took me a while I know. But after reading what you wrote in your book, I knew that I had to talk to you._

_JBW: It was all true Bella, I truly do miss you_

This part was easy.

BSwan: I miss you too Jasper…a lot. So how are things?

_JBW: honestly, not good_

_BSwan: it's because of me isn't it?_

_JBW: No not at all_

_BSwan: Jasper_

_JBW: Yes?_

_BSwan: I miss you_

_JBW: Me too Bella, more than you know._

I was true, the longer that I talked or chatted whatever you would call it, the more I wanted to be with him, to smell him, to hug him, to….kiss him. But what if Jasper only wanted to be just friends, how could I be just his friend?

_JBW: Is everything alright? _He was responding to be being idle for about 1 minute

_BSwan: I was just thinking_

_JBW: About?_

_BSwan: How things went down two years ago at the clearing_

_JBW: Me too_

_BSwan: And also about the time we spent together. I yelled at you that day and claimed that you did it because you felt bad… was I right?_

_JBW: No Bella, of course not. Our time was genuine, I can promise you that._

_BSwan: No pity?_

_JBW: No pity_

_BSwan: Thanks_

_JBW: You are quite a character Bella_

_BSwan: So I've been told _

_JBW: I hope you don't mind me asking, but I hope you and Nessie aren't using your looks to rob banks_

_BSwan: Why I'd never ;)_

_JBW: Oh have you forgotten poor Nathaniel?_

_BSwan: Are you ever going to let that go?_

_JBW: But really, how are you providing for Nessie? And Jacob!_

_BSwan: Don't worry, I work_

_JBW: Doing what exactly?_

_BSwan: I don't want to say_

_JBW: Not even for me?_

_BSwan: ok, ok, only for you_

_JBW: Ok what is it?_

_BSwan: I assemble toy trucks_

_JBW: :)_

_BSwan: You're not laughing are you?_

_JBW: Of course I am Bella. Truck? Toy trucks?_

_BSwan: I know it's bad, but it's the only job I could get_

_JBW: Why don't you just cash the checks Carlisle sends?_

_BSwan: Because Jasper, if I start accepting money then I'll get phone calls, then plane tickets back to Forks. I'll be sucked back to family and I don't want all that._

_JBW: ouch_

I looked at the screen with horror, why had I typed that?

_BSwan: sorry I didn't mean it like that. I've been on my own for a while Jasper, I don't need your money._

_JBW: fair enough…but would you ever…visit?_

I'm not sure I would… ever.

_BSwan: too soon to say Jasper, I'm not sure I'm ready for all of that_

_JBW: I understand Bella_

_BSwan: so…_

_JBW: you've never been the one to be speechless. Bella, just talk to me_

_BSwan: I don't want too ask to many questions_

_JBW: I'd be worried if you didn't. Just say what's on your mind._

_BSwan: okay_

Here goes nothing.

_BSwan: are Edward and Alice…well together now? Still?_

_JBW: somewhat. They break up often but always make up. It's quite sickening._

_BSwan: oh_

_JBW: are you okay with that?_

Of course I was. I could care less about Edward and Alice/

_BSwan: Yes… just curious. Does he ever talk about me? Renesmee?_

_JBW: Not publicly but yes, when he is alone with Carlisle._

_BSwan: What does he say?_

_JBW: Nothing good, he claims that you've brainwashes Renesmee from calling or sending letters_

_BSwan: What!_

_JBW: yes, he says that if you really did care, you would come visit with her_

I snarled silently to myself.

_BSwan: everyday she used to sit near the phone. Every day she watched ad he never called Jasper! I never told her she couldn't. You have to believe me._

_JBW: I do Bella, without a doubt. How is Renesmee now?_

_BSwan: she could care less now if he called, she is happy that we're talking though_

_JBW: really?_

_BSwan: yes really, she misses you_

_JBW: I miss her too_

I looked at the clock, it was late

_BSwan: I want to chat longer, but I have to go and get Renesmee ready for bed._

_JBW: Does she go to school?_

_BSwan: yes_

_JBW: who is marked sown as her legal guardian or parent?_

_BSwan: me_

_JBW: be careful Bella_

_BSwan: I am careful, everyone knows me as her big sister who dropped out of school. Everything is fine_

_JBW: you got it all planned out_

_BSwan: yes_

_JBW: well tell her I said hi_

_BSwan: I will_

_JBW: be safe my Bella_

_BSwan: I promise_

_JBW: Bye_

_BSwan: wait Jasper_

_JBW: yes?_

_BSwan: will you still be on to talk to me tomorrow?_

_JBW: for you Bella…forever_

I closed the chat window and sighed in relief, I had my Jasper back.

**Jaspers POV**

I counted the minutes, the hours she had been gone. I took the time to think about Alaska. Bella hates snow but she had rather have to trudge through it all day then to be here, to be constantly reminded of how he husband had been unfaithful. It was hard not to start running, to be at house by tomorrow. I wanted so much to be near her, even if she didn't want to be with me in that way, I would be satisfies with just holding her hand like we always had.

The next day I waited until 9:00 to sign on. A beep sounded on my laptop.

_BSwan: now you have dish… how are you dealing with all of this?_

_JBW: I'm fine Bella, I'm more interested in talking about you right now_

_BSwan: my life is boring Jasper, I am boring_

_JBW: Bell you've never been boring in my eyes_

_BSwan: you have to say that_

_JBW: no, it's the truth Bella; every time we chat I'm fascinated_

_BSwan: I wish I could blush_

_JBW: really? _

_BSwan: I'm finding out more and more everyday that there are human qualities that I wish I still had_

_JBW: so you regret ever changing?_

_BSwan: of course not! Look at all I've gotten from changing; my daughter and of course you_

_JBW: me?_

_BSwan: yes you Jasper, you've become so much for me. I'm not sure where'd be without you_

This had to be a sign that Bella had loved me then and still does now.

_JBW: I feel the same way Bella_

_BSwan: I haven't done anything but caused you pain Jasper_

_JBW: is that the way you sum up our time together? Painful?_

_BSwan: Not for me but for you_

_JBW: Bell, the time that we spent together were the best times in my entire life_

_BSwan: wow_

_JBW: I know, but it's true, you've changed me_

_BSwan: um…this is weird_

_JBW: I know it's a lot to take it and I don't expect for you to say the same_

_BSwan: no, no, Jasper, it's weird because I do feel the same way_

_JBW: you do?_

_BSwan: I'm definitely not the Same Bella who came to your house all those years ago_

_JBW: yes, this Bella is so much more independent_

_BSwan: thank you Jasper_

We talked all night until she left for work. Bella and I were getting our new beginning.

_**3 Months Later **_

_**Review please... thanks guys for the encouraging comments**_


	12. Colliding I love you

**Enjoy!!**

**Bella Pov**

Great, now I was going to be late. I clutched my laptop in my hand as I ran through the hallways. I thought vampires we never late, I must be the worst one alive…or whatever it is I am. I got into a seat in the packed auditorium with reserved written on it and opened my laptop. Jasper and I made an agreement; I would use my webcam only to let him watch Renesmee play Juliet in her school play. I wasn't sure if I was ready to see his beautiful warm face. I tilted the webcam towards the stage and turned it on. The lights came down and the play began. I was in the front so I knew that Jasper could see.

Renesmee was a natural, her Middle English was perfect. When the play was over she came bouncing toward me, facing the laptop.

"Jasper how was I?"

"Amazing, a true actress," his voice made my knees buckle, thank god I was sitting.

"Thank you," I whispered near the camera, saying a quiet goodbye before closing the screen.

"Mom!"

"Beautiful, you were beautiful." She encompassed me in a warm hug as we made our way out.

It was quiet in the car but I could hear Renesmee whispering to herself with uncertainty. I could've just used my good hearing to figure out what exactly she was mumbling but I wanted to ask.

"What is it?" She tore her gaze away from the window to meet mine.

"You know what it is," I was confused because I didn't.

"No, no I don't" I put a hint of authority in my voice.

"Mom, why did you close the laptop in Jasper's face?" The way she said it made me feel guilty.

"The play was over Renesmee, why would I leave it open?" She sighed in frustration.

"You never let him see your face…why?" Because I was ashamed. I still felt guilty about what happened. I was too scared to let him see me…the monster I had become.

"Watch your tone."

"I'm sorry, I just want to see you happy…and you always look happy when you're chatting with him," No, I was more than happy when I was chatting with him, I felt…complete…in love.

"You're right,"

"I knew it! You love Jasper," wow she was good.

"What! No no no,"

"Come on mom, I'm not blind,"

"What are you talking about?"

"Just spill it mom, I'm old enough" She was right, she would be ten soon.

"Ok, ok it's true, I… I love...Jasper," she was grinning ear to ear, it made things…surprisingly comforting.

"I knew it! Way to go mom!" she cheered for a minute.

"You're okay with it?" I thought every normal child hated the idea of their mom loving someone else other than their father, but Renesmee wasn't any ordinary child.

"Of course, Jasper is a great guy... I love him too, in that other way." I nodded, of course she did. Jasper and her talked everyday also.

"But I'm not sure he feels the same way Renesmee. He and Alice –"

"Of course he feels the same way mom. He talks about how much he misses you all the time."

"Missing someone is different than being in love with someone Renesmee,"

"Okay well he also talks about how much he had fun with you and he always asks if you're dating yet." Dating? The idea of that made me empty stomach churn. I parked the car and we got out.

"Really?"

"Yes really," she was still grinning.

"This conversation stays between us okay?" she nodded and started up the stairs. I was behind her when I saw a big cardboard box sitting near our door. It was from Jasper. A jolt of excitement jumped through me.

"I told you so," Renesmee assed walking through the door and into her room. I sat on the couch and ripped the box open.

I could barely contain my eagerness as I pulled out a book, a big book. I dragged it into my lap and took the note from inside of the box.

_Tell me what you think. I'll be waiting_

_-Jasper_

The book was brown with a gold metal binding. I was excited; Jasper hadn't told me that he was working on a new book. I turned to the first page and began to read.

_She was beautiful, changing every day, but she was also trapped. Locked in her small tower by her lover… _I didn't want to read it all at once so I closed it and got ready for work.

In the car my mind drifted back to the story. The main characters name was Emma; short for Emmalinda. She was in a reckless marriage, always trying to please her husband. There was irony in it. I knew her husband was cheating on her, but Emma didn't. I felt sympathy for her; the pain would soon consume her. Emma wasn't alone though, her husband's adopted brother Zane was keeping her company. My fanaticism was taking over me and my excitement to continue reading fueled my energy at work and I was back home within hours. Not wanting to wake up Renesmee, I walked into my room falling on my bed. I opened the book back to where I left off. Emma was about to find out about her husband's affair.

_Anger was boiling within her as she slammed her cold fist down onto the table and into a glass plate. She was broken and not even Zane could fix her. She sagged to the floor, ignoring the throbbing pain and the warm liquid leaking down her elbow and cried. _

I felt even more sadness for Emma; her husband Damien showed no remorse to what he had done. I was close to the end when things started to get clearer for me. I continued to read.

_The rain was coming down in harsh, bitter drops, soaking her from head to toe. Zane could see her now, standing in the meadow drenched. Her clothes were heavy on her as she began to walk. He had told her that he loved her and now she was there for him…running. Emma had so many thoughts zooming in and out of her mind but mostly that she loves Zane too. She increased her speed, not caring about the trees that whipped her in her face, leaving multiple tiny scratches. Finally she was in his arms. They met in a warm kiss never breaking free until necessary to breathe. Zane looked into her eyes and whispered sweetly into her ear. _

"_I love you," she murmured it back and hugged him even closer._

Bella closed the book, but not before reading the very last page.

_I love you Bella, just as much Zane loved Emma, come to me._

I was frozen, the whole time while reading there was something tugging at me. I knew the story sounded familiar, it was about Jasper and I… I couldn't move… I was too scared to.

**Jasper's POV**

Sitting in the meadow all day, every day, has its advantages, but there are downsides too. I promised myself that after I sent the book to Bella I would not move from this spot, only to change clothes. It's been three weeks now.

**Bella's POV**

The next three weeks went by a thick haze. I hadn't gone to work, instead sat on my bed reading Jasper's story over and over again. But still I couldn't move, almost catatonic. His last word still rang in my mind, '_come to me.' _This was what I wanted, to be with Jasper. He wanted me too, then why couldn't I move? _Come on Bella, get up, get up and go to work._ My own words couldn't make me move. I was planted to this spot. _Get up! Get up!_ My mind pushed me and I pushed back, I wasn't ready to face what I was going to do next, it was so unclear to me. _Please Bella, do it for Renesmee_. Renesmee, I knew she was worried. Please. My mind was right; if I sat here any longer my daughter would be the one hurt…not me. Slowly I stood; acting as if I was weak I took hold of the bed for support. But I knew that I wasn't weak… just a coward. I made my way out of the room and out the door. Maybe if I flirted with my boss I could get my job back. Of course I would get my job back, without flirting. I drove slowly, still arguing with my mind. _Why, why can't you do it? Why can't you run to him like Emma did… be happy. _I didn't have an answer, I couldn't think of one because I was too afraid of what I would say.

My boss was mad but as soon as a commented on how much I admired his management he gave me my job back. I needed to keep busy I told myself, to stay at work for as long as I can. Jacob would take care of Renesmee for me, I know he would. I walk to the familiar seat that I sat in for so long and notice a new worker in a seat adjacent to mine. She smiles innocently and stretches out a free hand. I take it and shake it briefly.

"I wish they could put some heat in here, you feel cold too,"

"Um yes." She brushes away piece of hair stuck to her lips and smiles.

"I'm Nick,"

"Bella," I reply. She smiles again and continues to assembly a blue truck.

"Are you new here too?"

"I was on vacation," I say lying.

"Lucky you. I have to work for about another 4 months before I can get one of those." She looks young, maybe in high school.

"It'll past fast," I say hoping that time will past slow so that I don't have to go home.

"I sure hope so. So are you in school too?"

"Um no, I dropped out,"

"Oh lucky you again. I wish I could but my parents would never let me."

"Are you in high school?"

"Yes." She nodded and grabs her second truck at the same time I grab my fourth.

"So why are you working here?" She looks down and I realize that it may not be any of my business. We spend the rest of the night in silence.

As I plop onto my bed I can hear Jacob talking to Renesmee in hushed tones. They're worried.

_"When will she be better?"_

_"Soon Nessie, don't worry," _can tell by his pitch that he doesn't even believe himself. _"Now go to bed okay, everything is going to be okay," _I goes silent as the eventually fall asleep. _Why, why can't you? _I cover my head in an attempt to block out the voice, but it's still there.

The next morning I don't get up to drop off Renesmee to school. I hear them both leave and I take that moment to read Jasper's story. Before I got this book, things were better, why did he have to say that he loved me? I throw the book to the floor then immediately run to pick it up. I hold it tightly to my chest and place it gently to the bed. I need to be busy I think, I need to be busy.

In less than ten minutes I'm at work, sitting beside Nick.

"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" I instantly regret asking as she looks down.

"Snow day," I nod even though I know that she is lying.

"Oh," I can tell she's hiding something. "Is there something wrong Nick?" She turns to me with tears in her eyes and I immediately rub her back. "Shh it's okay" she sniffles and puts her head back up. I can tell that this environment isn't the best place for confessionals. "Let's get out of here and talk." She nods and we both leave our seats.

We end up sitting in my car with the heat blasted on. She not crying anymore but I can tell that it doesn't mean she's completely done.

"Just say whatever you want Nick," She sighs heavily and turns to me,

"My boyfriend just told me that he loves me and…I love him too but."

"But?"

"I'm scared, what if this changes everything? He's my best friend… my only friend."

"There's nothing to be scared of Nick. When two people love each other things do change but always for the better."

"Really?" I nod "Have you ever been in love Bella?" I look at the red haired girl in front of me and I see myself; someone too scared to be in love. I nod again. "Did it work out?" I don't want to scare her even more by telling about Edward so I talk about someone else.

"His name is Jasper…" We spend the whole night laughing and talking about Jasper. I drive her home and give her encouraging pushes to go back to school.

When I get home I sit on my bed and think. I just gave Nick advice that I should've given myself. I don't need to be scared anymore. I walk into Renesmee's room and wake her. She hugs me instantly and I hold on tight.

"What are you afraid of Bells?"Jacob asks. I know the words are there, but they get stuck.

"Talk to us please mom,"

"I was scared," the words finally pour out.

"Was?"

"Yes, but not anymore. I thought that if I went back, that all these feeling for Edward would come out."

"They won't mom."

"So why are you still here and not with him?" I sagged into the bed, fearing that my moments of immobility would come back. But I looked at the sad face in front of me, my own reflection in Renesmee's eyes. I pulled myself up and picked up the phone.

"I would like to purchase one ticket to Forks, Washington please. Yes Isabella Cullen." I cringe at the name but it's the only way I can buy the tickets on such short notice. "Okay thank you." I hang up and look at their faces. "My flight is in thirty minutes," Jacob smiles and hugs me.

"Good luck Bells. Call us when you're done or whatever." I smile and kiss his hot cheek.

"Good luck mama, I always knew you and Jasper belonged together."

"Thank you. Be safe okay, there money-"

"I know, I know mom." Jacob comes in holding a small back pack.

"I packed for you." I smiled graciously and start toward the door. I wave before leaving then start down the stairs.

The loud ringing from the intercom in the airport direct me to gate 3B. The plane was boarding already, I looked back. There was no turning back now. The flight was long and I had distracted myself with a radio. Edward wasn't kidding when he said that vampires get distracted easily because before I know it, we're landing. Where do I go? Hotel maybe. Can Alice see me right now? The doubt and fear on my face? I take a taxi to a familiar hotel. I missed Forks more than I thought as the homely scent welcomes me.

"Hello? Jacob picked up the phone.

"Hey Jacob, I'm in Forks and just wanted to check up on you two."

"We're fine. So did you call him yet?"

"No, I'm not sure I should."

"Why not?"

"Something tells me that he won't be there to pick up."

"You mean he left?"

"No, I mean I think I know where he'll be."

"How?"

"The- never mind that Jacob. I have to go, tell Renesmee I love her."

"What! Don't I get an I love you?"

"You know I love you Jacob."

"I know Bells, I love you too. Talk to you later.

I look outside the hotel window, it's raining…just like in the story. Had Jasper planned it this way? Or was it just a coincidence? I pace the room multiple times, feeling bad for the people below me; I wasn't planning on stopping anytime soon. It was 10am, I should be jet lagged but I'm a vampire, those kinds of things don't happen. What was Jasper doing? I wanted to see him. I grabbed my key to the hotel and left. It was now or never, I would not go back to that hotel room alone. I didn't have a car so I ran as fast as I could, carefully avoiding La Push. The rain was cold but of course it didn't bother me.

I was in the forest not whipping past trees and bushes. My hair clung to my face, wet and tangles. I kept running even though my clothes got heavier. Jasper's scent was suddenly strong so I slowed down. It wasn't intoxicating but welcoming. I didn't need to see him; I wanted to, it had been a while since I did something I wanted. I walked at human speed trudging through the thick growth. His scent was only a few kilometers away. I looked up from the ground. Jasper was standing there, his hair wet and clothes a darker shade than what they should've be. He looked tired but when his eyes met mine, he was finally alive. My own cold dead heart was coming alive. We held each other's gaze for a minute. "Bella." I heard him whisper. Something inside of me told me to run; my heart told me to run. Not at vampire speed but at human speed, I ran, he ran towards me too.

I could hear it now, a deep loud thumping sound, thunderous in my ears. I pushed the branches out of the way as I ran. And like a train colliding, we crushed together, taking no time to say the well needed hellos and I miss yous. Our lips met almost instantaneously, colliding roughly. His hands found its ways into my soaked hair as he pulled me into a tighter embrace, his other hand holding my waist. As his lips opened I took the chance to take a deep breath, breathing in his deep almost spicy smell. While my land lay around his neck and his in my hair, our tongues were doing a dance of their very own. Entwined together we fed off each other's hunger, pushing against one another, bone crushingly close. But we felt no pain, instead it fueled out lust. He pushed me against a tree, his hand now on my cheek. We could do this forever and I would never complain. He was finally mine. My hands were in his hair now; I grabbed it and felt a low growl rise through his throat. Our lips were now one, moving together in a fast paced movement.

As much as I hated what I was about to do, I need to look at him, talk to him. He sensed this and his lips slowly left mine. I kissed them once more. He rested his forehead on mine, his thumb stroking my face.

"You came." His voice was rough and hoarse. I cleared my mind.

"I came for you." His lips came to mine for a quick second.

"I would've waited for you forever," I wiped a raindrop from his face.

"We have forever." I didn't want to waste his precious moment. I leaned back into him and place my lips onto his, kissing him lightly.

I don't know how long we stayed like that; whispering lovely hellos and I love you.

**Review please!!!:)**


	13. Authors note

**This is not the last chapter guys!!! I will most Monday!!! DRAMA coming up**


	14. Trouble in Paradise

**Sorry if it's short guys, I have to prepare for my Ap Bio exam!! Review please**

**Much luv Jasperbells!!!**

We sat on a well placed log as he took my hands into mine, I couldn't help but smile.

"How did you know I would be here?" his voice was calmer now… less husky.

"Your story," he smiled his warm smile, it sent tingles through me.

"Did you like it? The story I mean." I opened my mouth to speak.

"If I didn't, do you think that I would be here right now?"

"Good point," It was still raining but it was like we were in our own little world, rain didn't matter. "So are Jacob and Renesmee nearby?"

"No, they stayed." He nodded then looked down at our joined hands then back up.

"I love you Bella," I pressed my lips to his and whispered,

"I love you too." Pulling away I looked toward the direction of the house. Did they know what was going on?

"I'm sure Alice saw this happening, "he looked at me.

"It doesn't matter, _Alice_ doesn't matter." He nodded.

"What _does _matter then?" I took no time to answer.

"Us," he sent a wave of understanding towards me, he wanted it too.

"Do you want to go to the house?" I thought about it, I wasn't sure what it would do to me to see any of the family yet, especially Alice.

"No."

"Okay, where do you suggest we go then?" I laughed inside my head at what I was about to do. I got down on one knew and took one of his hands into mine.

"Jasper Hale, will you move to Alaska with me?" He kissed me gently.

"Of course I will." Everything happened so fast after that. Before I knew it I was waiting in the hotel lobby packed and waiting for Jasper. It was still raining outside and the sky took on a dark gray color.

Ten minutes passed and still no Jasper. Panic was running through me as I looked out the window again. Jasper would never be late. My worries were washed away as I saw a black jeep pull into the pickup area. I ran out with my bag

"Let me put that in the trunk." He took my bags and put them in the open trunk. I hopped into the passenger's side. He got in and turned to me, his hair still wet. "Are you sure this is what you want? Us?" I kissed him with certainty.

"I'm sure Jasper, I want us to have a future, a forever," he kissed me back.

"And ever." Driving with one hand only; he held mine, gently rubbing it as we drove to the airport. I knew that this was what destined for me.

_**At Home**_

"Renesmee will be so excited to see you Jasper," I was unlocking the door to my apartment.

"Me too," Renesmee was on the couch eating a bowl of chili; her favorite. Her eyes darted upward. She dropped the bowl to the table and ran into Jasper's waiting arms.

"Jasper!"

"Hello Nessie." She pulled away to look at him then placed her head back to his chest.

"I've missed you," she added sweetly.

"Me too Renesmee. How are you?"

"Better now." I looked at Jacob, who was sitting on the couch smiling. I then looked at Jasper and Renesmee hugging, I finally had a family…this time it would last.

"Tell me again how you ran to him mama," Renesmee said sweetly.

"It's late and I've told you about fifty times,"

"Tomorrow? Will you tell me more tomorrow?"

"Of course. Good night." She leapt off my bed with Jacob at heels. They closed the door and I rolled onto my side to face Jasper.

"That was exhausting," he laughed and pushed a strand of loose hair behind my ear.

"She's just like her mother." I smiled, I missed laughing with him.

"Ha-ha."

"So have you written any good stories while I've been gone?"

"Not really, it reminded me of you too much to write,"

"I'm sorry."

"No, Jasper. No more saying sorry. We're going to live now not the past." He smiled and pulled me to his chest.

"That sounds good." I felt his lips brush my hair. He released me slightly and looked into my eyes. "Let's write." I smiled and nodded.

He darted to his bags and pulled out two journals and walked back to his spot. He handed me the bigger one and smiled. He started writing but I just stared, breathing in his presence. We spent the whole day in bed; silently writing and reading…just like old times.

Next day

"Mom let's go!" Renesmee's strident voice ricocheted off the walls as she stood at the door. I pulled on my jacket and met her there.

"I thought you didn't want to go to school today?"

"I didn't, but you're making me, remember?" I smiled and pushed her out the door. It was hard to leave the apartment…leave Jasper. We arrived at her school in five minutes with two minutes to spare before her first bell.

"Have fun." She waved and disappeared through the double doors. I could barely contain my excitement as a sped home. I ran into the house and bumped into Jacob on the way in.

"Why the rush Bella? Jasper's not going anywhere." He had on a playful smirk.

"No but you are." I said as I pushed him out smiling.

Finally we were alone. I walked into the room; he was laying on his back reading. I climbed into the bed and rested my head on his chest. His hands lowered and he held me.

"I could get used to this," I murmured into his chest.

"You better, because I'm never ever going to let you go." His head lowered and his lips met mine.

_**3 Months**_ _**Later**_

"Renesmee, Jacob will drop you off today!" I yelled behind a closed door. I giggled as Jasper lay next to me.

"Okay mom! See you two later."

"Shh Jasper, stop." I giggled again.

"Okay honey, bye." I heard the door close and I rolled towards Jasper, who was now nuzzling on my neck. "Jasper…I think she heard us." He stopped to look up at me.

"Does it really matter?"

"I guess not," I kissed his warm lips and pulled away for a brief second. We hadn't been intimate yet but always came close. I wasn't ready and he accepted that. "I love you Jasper."

"I love you too Bella. He leaned in and kissed me, I pushed myself tightly against him, my hands tracing his hard, slightly chiseled chest. Unlike Edward, Jasper had the body of an athletic jockey. The house phone started to ring.

"Ignore it," he whispered into my lips. I was more than willing to and I continued to move my hands towards his waist. The phone rang again, and again, and again.

"I should get that," I sighed.

"Yes, it might be important." He rolled off me and I reached toward the still ringing phone.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" I dropped the phone onto the bed and froze. The voice on the other line, the cold voice on the other line was too familiar for my liking.

"Bella? What is it?" He placed his hand on my back.

"Edward." I pointed to the phone. He immediately picked it up.

"What do you want?" Jasper's voice was suddenly harsh and distant. I could hear Edward sigh from the phone.

"There's no time to argue, Alice saw some sort of an attack."

"From who?"

"She's not sure but she saw innocents dying, we need your help…and Bella." I shuddered when he said my name.

"Okay we'll be there tomorrow."

"Thank you Jasper." He placed the phone back and looked at me.

"It's time Bella." I stared at him. "Time to go back home."

**Coming up next: Part 3 Reunion. REVIEW PLEASE**


	15. Reunion

**Heyy Guys this chapter was so much fun to type hope you enjoy it too!**

**Much love Jasperbells!!!**

We all drove in silence; you could hear the wind blowing by in a rush as we sped down the road to the main house. Jasper squeezed my hand and I suddenly felt calm. Jasper told me that Edward doesn't know that we are together…that made me even tenser. He sent over more calm. I looked at him and smiled a silent thank you.

"Things will be okay Bella, I trust you."

"I trust you too Jasper," we pulled into the familiar driveway and got out.

"I should rally get going to La Push," I turned to Jacob.

"Okay I'll talk to you later, thanks for…everything," He gave me a quick hug and disappeared into the woods.

"You ready Nessie?" Jasper asked as we neared the door. She smiled then frowned.

"What if he doesn't want me?" Jasper took her into a quick hug and whispered lightly into her hair.

"You'll always have me." He released her and she smiled. The door opened and I was pulled in.

"Oh Bella! I've missed you so," it was Esme.

"Me too Esme," she kissed my forehead and then took Renesmee into her arms.

"Nessie, you look more beautiful than ever."

"Esme, I've missed you so much." She pushed her head into her bosom. We all stepped into the house in unison. The scent of Edward slapped me in my face we closed the door.

"You should've called us Jasper," her voice was visibly hurt.

"I know, but things happened so fast…we needed a break."

"I understand, come in, everyone is waiting." I could feel Jasper close behind me. Everyone was standing; they looked too calm for expecting an attack. I could see Edward standing near Alice, his hand on the small on her back. Carlisle was next to hug me.

"Bella, how are you?"

"Good, really good." I could see Edward moving toward Renesmee, he hugged her and whispered into her hair.

"I'm sorry Nessie," I looked away and walked over to where Rosalie and Emmett were standing. We shared long embraces and talked about how we each were doing. I had talked to everyone except for Edward and Alice. Quite frankly I didn't want to. I turned to Rosalie.

"Sorry we missed your vow renewal,"

"You remembered?"

"Of course I did,"

"Don't worry it's on tape." She grinned and I did too. It surprised me to think this but I really missed her… I missed everyone.

"So what's the plan?" I asked.

"The plan?" Rosalie answered.

"Oh, we have to wait, Alice's visions keep changing." They all nodded at Edward. His voice was still the same cold voice that I heard all 3 years ago. I sat near Emmett on the couch and Jasper quickly followed. I protectively slung my shield tight over Jasper. "Why are you doing that?" I turned to follow his voice, it was not as stimulating as it was before all of this happened.

"Doing what?" My voice was jagged. He sucked in a sharp breath.

"Shielding Jasper," I thought about my answer for a while, I could be mean or I could just answer him nicely. The uncaring part of me over weighted the good.

"Because I can." Jasper held my hand instantly pushing the malicious Bella back into the box inside of me. He didn't say anything after that.

"Let's not argue," Carlisle pleaded.

"I agree, I'm sorry,"

"So Bella what have been up to in Alaska?" Carlisle asked.

"Hmm a lot," I looked at Jasper and squeezed his hand. "Jasper's done a lot for me; basically we've been building our lives back together."

"That's great Bella. When Jasper left we knew he was going to be with you, to help. He's a good brother." I couldn't help but laughing and everyone looked confused. I dropped my shield; I could hear Jasper laughing too.

"I'm sure Jasper _is_ a good brother, but he's not mine." They still were puzzled.

I looked to Jasper for support, he smiled warmly at me. The phone rang and half of them left the room, leaving Edward and Alice only. It was quiet, the tension grew thicker as the seconds pasted. I snuggled in towards Jasper and gripped his hand tighter.

"How you holding up?" He whispered, though I was sure that Alice and Edward heard.

"I'm calm if that's what you're asking, Just confused." He kissed my hair.

"I know, but I'm sure he'll explain soon." I nodded and looked down at our entwined hands.

Were we making it obvious? I sprang up and my feet and he followed. I took his hand in mine and followed where the group went into the other room. I clearly heard a low hiss from Edward, I smirked and kept walking.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing Bell, we just wanted you four to talk," Emmett said.

"Oh, um thanks,"

"Well go back and talk," he nudged me.

"Emmett, I'm not sure she's ready" Jasper said still holding my hand.

"No, I am. I stronger now, I can do this." We walked back into the living room hand in hand. Alice was on the other side of the room. "Can we talk? Outside?" I looked at them and they nodded. We walked towards the river then stopped. I didn't know how to start; Jasper kissed my cheek and smiled.

"Speak from here," he laid his hand lightly to my chest. I put my hand on top of his and nodded solemnly.

"I want you two to know that if there wasn't an emergency I wouldn't be here right now…we would be here." They were silent. "3 years ago my world was shattered because of you two; I lost my family because of you two. Everything bad that happened was because of you two."

"I'm really sorry Bella," Alice said sadly moving toward us.

"Stop, don't come any closer." My hand was in a tight fist, I waited to feel Jasper's calm but nothing came. He was just as angry as I was. I was fighting the urge to claw at her face. "Sorry won't change what you've put me through Alice! I trusted you with my family and with my husband." I felt Jasper flinch when that word came from my mouth: _'husband'_ "I don't think I can forgive you…not now anyway."

"Maybe we can just go slowly." She stepped closer.

"Slow? Alice I' m fighting an impulse right now to end your existence, slow isn't an option!" I could feel the built up anger rising in me. She stopped in her tracks and walked back to Edward. I looked at his face; his lips were in a tight grave line. "I don't like feeling this way…like a monster," I looked down, Jasper laid a hand on my shoulder. "So for now, I think its best that you just stay away from me…from us."

"Us?" Edward finally spoke.

"Yes, us Edward," I looked at Jasper.

"Don't do it Edward," Alice touched his arm but he brushed it off. It all happened fast then, Edward lunged at Jasper, knocking them both to the dirt ground.

"You and Bella?" Edward snarled. Jasper was stronger and managed to push Edward off of hm.

"You gave up on her years ago…did you expect her to be alone forever? You did this, not me." I stepped in between them. I could feel Jasper's chest pushing against my back, his breathing was rough. I turned to him, stroking his face.

"We didn't come here to fight him Jasper." His eyes were wide; he looked down at me, slowly unbarring his teeth. His face and muscle relaxed.

"I'm sorry Bella; I know I promised I wouldn't do this."

"You can still keep it." I pressed my lips to his not caring that Alice and Edward were just behind us. He pulled me closer to him, his finger tracing my jaw line. "We shouldn't be doing this to them…they deserve to know the truth about us." He nodded and I turned to the two standing there. "We shouldn't be fighting, I hate it. I can't promise that I'll be able to turn things back to the way they were, but I can try." I took Jasper's hand and walked back into the house. "You guys can come out now." The rest of the family emerged; I could tell from their eyes that they heard everything. "We haven't been completely honest with you guys we-" Esme hugged me before I could finish.

"Welcome back to the family Bella, my daughter." I hugged back and closed my eyes. I felt three more layers of hugs building up. I opened my eyes to see that Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett had joined in.

"I'm glad you two are together…things can finally get back to normal." I nodded and smiled at Emmett. We pulled away and Renesmee smiled at me.

"So fill me in on what you guys now so far." Emmett grinned.

"Well I know is that I'm going to be doing some serious ass kicking when the newborns come."

"Newborns?" I was a little worried.

"A whole lot of them, coming this way, killing everyone in their path."

"Any idea of who the leader might be?" Jasper interjected.

"That's the weird part; I can't see any of that." Alice was in the room now sans Edward.

"Well what have you seen?" I asked. I guess I could play nice. She grabbed a sheet of paper and quickly sketched. She handed me the sheet and I almost dropped it in shock. A fleet of newborns were tearing their way through the meadow…our meadow. "But why? Why would someone do this?"

"Someone who knows we're here." Jasper said. I thought to myself for a minute. Who did we have as enemies? Who could possibly want us gone? It couldn't be the Volturi; the show they witnessed three years ago would keep them entertained for at least another four years.

"But I can't think of anyone who would attack us,"

"I can," Edward appeared. "The bank problems we were having wasn't all a guise. Somebody hacked into our account and acquired a lot of information."

"Who?" I knew that my voice sounded desperate and weak but I didn't care… I needed to know,"

"Cato Canaan" It didn't ring a bell.

"When we realized that someone had gotten a hold of our information we had to travel to a lot of countries where we had allies, to get help. We received a letter, well more of a blackmail. We thought we had taken care of it because they only asked for money. But I guess we were wrong." Alice looked down. "It wasn't until recently that he contacted us for more money. But I'm not sure who it is."

"Why didn't you guys tell us any of this?"

"Because Bella, you overreact about everything. You would've only made it more stressful" The cold voice replied.

"So what do we do now?"

"We wait until Alice can see more, and try to contact Canaan." I sighed. This was going to be a long reunion.

_**1 week later**_

**Edward's POV**

It's only been a week and I'm already feeling pressure. I promised myself not to feel any guilt, I can't be sorry for falling in love with someone else. But I'm not sure if it was really love to start with. I can hear their thoughts, only when Bella isn't shielding them away from me. She does that a lot lately; blocking any sort of memory or thought from me. Maybe I should talk to Renesmee let her know that I still love here even thought Bella and I are…what have Bella and I become? She still carries out last name and hasn't asked for a divorce. I can hear them talking now from inside of Jasper's room.

"We should go hunt, your eyes are black as coal Jasper."

"Yes I guess we should." I could hear the ruffling of sheets. I cringe, could they be in bed, together?

I shake the thought from my mind. Bella can't possibly love Jasper; she promised me her love forever. Why should I be caring about this? I'm not with her anymore…I'm with Alice.

"Can I come?" I can hear my daughter's sweet innocent voice.

"Of course…Jacob too I presume?"

I grind my teeth close to the point where I can feel pressure. Bella hadn't done a good job protecting Nessie; she let Jacob follow them everywhere. Who knows what kind of friends he could've attracted when in Alaska. I know he claims to love her but she's only 7…or is it 8? I sink into the nearby chair. How can I forget how old she is? How could I have neglected to call to say happy birthday?

"Can he?"

"Sure," Bella's voice poured out like honey.

Now was my chance to talk to Renesmee; while they hunted. I could hear their door open and the sound of their feet shuffling down the stairs. I sprang and darted to her side.

"Renesmee can I talk to you for a minute?" She scrunched her face in uncertainty then nodded. Bella and Jasper told her that they would be waiting outside. I led her into the living room and we sat. Her thoughts were random: _Why is he talking to me? I wonder what mom will think. I don't want to be here._

"Nessie, I was thinking that today we could spend some time together." Her mind went quiet, no doubt it was Bella. Was she was trying to spare me the pain of rejection from my own daughter? "Maybe we could hunt together." Her thoughts were vivid now. How did she do that? If it wasn't Bella, than it must've been her. She caught on and opened her mouth to speak.

"Jasper taught me. He said that I should learn to control exactly what I want people to see…and hear." She looked down at her hands for a brief second then up again. "I'm not sure that's a good idea father. Plus I'm going hunting with mama and Jasper, maybe Jacob too." Father? It felt like someone had ripped a piece of my dead heart out when she said that. It was so formal…so distant. I nodded once and she got up. "See you later."

She brushed me off like an old forgotten friend and left. I had lost my Renesmee. I followed far behind as they ventured into the forest behind our house, Jacob wasn't with them, I could visibly see Renesmee hopping close to Jasper singing. Bella turned to Jasper and took his hand, bringing it up to her mouth for a kiss.

"Do, a deer, a female deer, Re, a drop of golden sun…" I smiled to myself, the sound of music was my favorite…hers also. She turned to Jasper and took hold of his other hand and together they walked. I fought back the impulse to snarl, remembering that I wasn't supposed to be a part of this family picture. "I bet I can catch a bigger bear than you!" Renesmee sang to Jasper.

"I'd like to see that happen." Jaspers voice ignited anger in me.

"She might actually beat you Jasper."

"Mama's right." He scoffed and smiled.

It was harder now to stay close enough to see and hear but far enough to stay undetected. I clung high in a nearby tree watching quietly. They hunted close to each other, but my attention stayed particularly on Bella and Jasper. They seemed to move in unison; Jasper brought down two huge bucks in a single strike then let Bella have one. She kissed him appreciatively, and then did the same for him. I had to jump back a couple of trees so they wouldn't see me. Renesmee was right, she did catch bigger prey. She finished drinking and ran into Jasper's arms.

"I told ya I'd get a bigger bear dad!" He hugged and kissed the top of her head. All time stood sill for me then. He was her dad now.

**Bella's POV**

I didn't know how to react or what to say. I turned to Jasper; he seemed unfazed by the dad thing. Actually he looked happy. Renesmee held his hand and smiled brilliantly.

"Why don't you go and tell Rosie how you beat Jasper."

"Okay, bye mama, bye dad." Again she had said it and Jasper showed no sign of being uncomfortable. Renesmee disappeared behind a tree and I took Jasper's hands into mine.

"Don't say anything Bella…its fine."

"Are you sure, I mean I can talk to her it you want me to."

"No it's fine. I love you and Renesmee so much; you guys are my family now,"

"Really?"

"Yes Bella," a wave of my own calm ran through me.

"I'm so happy that she has you. It's like she has completely erased Edward from her mind as her dad."

"Yes I know, she called him father today,"

"Yeah I heard...It's so formal."

"What did he expect? He started his this whole thing, but of course I can't be completely mad. If he hadn't cheated, I wouldn't have you right now." I looked into his deep butterscotch eyes. He was right, out of all the bad and pain that I felt three years ago, he was the only good that had come from it. I ran my hand through his curly wavy blonde hair.

"It's funny the way things work out." I traced the scar cutting through his right eyebrow. We had talked about his battle scars and how he got them, but I barely noticed them. My hands fell down to his neck. His hand went up to grab mine.

"Unless you want to be pinned down, you'll stop." I grinned; I was enjoying having this kind of effect on him.

"What if I want to be pinned down?" A slow smile crept onto his face. In a flash he was on top of me and my hands were above my head.

"As you wish." His pale lips met mine.

In no way was this small gentle kiss. I could feel his tongue begging for entrance into my mouth

I opened my mouth and our tongues met, swirling around each other in a sensual way. I could feel the grip on my hands tighten as I growled into his kisses. However one hand left my arm as he gently stroked my sides causing more involuntary growls. It must've been an eternity, as we lay there matted. When we heard a crack of a branch we both jolted up at the same time.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yes I did," we both looked around sniffing the air. The scent was bitterly familiar. It was Edward, was he spying on us?

"Edward" we both said in harmony. I was angry, why would he be watching us? Jasper must've picked up on my mood because a wave of calm hit me. I turned to him.

"You're okay with that?"

"No…but I think I can understand."

"What?"

"Bella, Alice just saw an attack of hungry newborns, I bet he just wanted to make sure we were…safe? A Renesmee just called me dad; that would throw anyone off."

"I know, I know," now I was feeling guilty.

"Don't feel guilty Bella, its okay to be mad at him."

"I am mad at him, but I just want everything to be in the past."

"Do you want to be his friend?"

"Do you want to be Alice's'?"

"Point well taken" He put my hands into his. "Do whatever you want Bella, I'll be fine with whatever you choose." I looked into his eyes, this was why I loved him, he didn't treat me like a child.

"I love you Jasper" He chuckled and kissed the back of my hand.

"I love you too Bella," we both stared into each other's eyes at the same time. Jasper and I were made for each other.

**REviews please thx:)**


	16. Note from Sasha!

Couldn't get a post up today but I will tomorrow… I promise. Don't stop luving the Jellaness lol if anyone can come up with a good name mix for these two then I will forever be grateful thanx lol


	17. Bringing it together

**Sorry it's so short guys! I got locked out of my house and had to wait until 6 so i was super tired...but i tried lol. Mos def. tomorrow I will post a longer chapter!**

**Thanks for all of the replies about the Jasper and Bella name mash. The winner is....(drum roll please ) **Chika-PyonPyon **with Jasperella.**

**Don't stop luving the Jasperellaness lol Much love: Jasperbells!!!**

According to Alice, the supposed attack will happen in less than 2 months. Two months before my family could be pulled away from me again, two months before I could lose everything…my Jasper. But I'm going to be strong for my family, even for Alice and Edward.

"So you're going to be training with everyone?"

"Yes, I think Tanya and her family should be here shortly," he ran a free hand through his tousled hair.

"Great" I feigned excitement as I rolled off the bed. I stood and walked into the closet to change.

"You don't sound too excited." He said.

"No, um just ready." I said poking my head from the closet then exiting.

"I know you'll be able to fight Bella, I believe in you," he was in front of me now, his topaz eyes glimmering.

"Thank you," I added softly before placing my lips to his briefly.

"Ready?" I nodded and took his hand as we descended down the stairs.

Downstairs was crowded with many familiar faces. Jacob had gathered his pack which had since tripled over the years; they stood scattered among the others. Everyone who had supported us that first time was here, even more. The reality of the fight was dawning upon me, this was it; fight to live. I let go of Jasper's hand and made my way to where Jacob stood.

"Hey Stranger," I hugged him shortly then let go.

"Hey Bells, you ready for this?"

"It's only training Jacob, not the real thing,"

"I know but I haven't seen you fight before. Being a vampire does have its advantages but your shield won't protect you against everything." He was serious.

"Oh thanks for the encouragement, but I'm ready for this…I've been training." I looked to Seth who was standing nearby. They all were here to help us.

"Just be careful Bells," I smiled and walked over to Zafrina. Her long black hair was pulled into a tight pony tail. She sensed me coming and turned to me with a beautiful smile.

"Bella!" She stretched out her golden arms and embraced me.

"You look amazing as always," I whispered. She pulled away and smiled.

"Oh the Amazon sun does wonders for the skin" I laughed and smiled again. It felt good to be able to joke at a time like this.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Great." Her fluid voice sang. "I'm ready to make some newborns witness hell," she bared her teeth slightly then relaxed. "And you Bella? I see you and Edward are no longer…involved?"

"No, we're not." She seemed well not surprised. "I'm happy with Jasper now,"

"Ah I see. I'm glad you are happy now Bella." She took my hand into hers and squeezed it. Instantly an image of Jasper and I flickered behind my eyes. I smiled and nodded.

We turned our attention to Jasper who had cleared his throat. Our eyes connected for a second and a wave of honest love shot through me. He looked around at the group and nodded solemnly.

"First of all I just want to say thank you to everyone here. Thank you for supporting us once again. Alice has informed us that we have less than two months before the newborn attacks begin. I've experienced the power of a newborn before and it can be fatal. If we want to be prepared we have to train nonstop. My family and I are ready to start helping, excluding Renesmee." He turns to her and smiles warmly. "You will not be at the fight at all,"

"But-"

"No buts Nessie, you're too young."

"Okay," She smiled warmly and sat back down near Jacob.

"We must start now. Outside would be best suited." He started toward me and took my hand.

"I'm going to need your help too Bella." We walked through the door together and into the extended backyard.

I was surprised when Jasper assigned me the role of teaching others. Was he slightly bias or did he really believe in me that much? We practiced all through the day and night. Everyone picked up on it easily but we had to stop the next day because the wolves had to sleep.

"You were amazing," Jasper told me in a kiss.

"Only because I had the best trainer," He smiled warmly and sat up.

"Has Edward talked to you lately?" I was confused, was he supposed to talk to me?

"No, not really," He scrunched his eyes brows in evident frustration.

"What's wrong?"

"Apparently Edward is taking upon himself to keep you out of the loop."

"Again?" I sighed and leaned into his chest.

"Yes, but don't worry I'll fill you in. Mr. Canaan is making threats." I pulled away and looked him straight into the eye.

"Threats? What kind?"

"Mostly about exposing us," I sighed heavily again. What were we going to do? Even if we survived the attack, would it guarantee that Canaan would leave us alone?

"Why can't we just pay him off?"

"We tried but he's wanting more. If we want to get rid of him we have to take more action," I thought about what he said and a spark went off in my head. I knew what I was going to do now, and Jasper was going to help.

**Sorry again for the short post... Comments plz:)**


	18. Scheming a new Start

**Sorry for the Wait i celebrated all of Easter weekend and Good friday but there it is!**

**Much luv Jasperbells!!!**

"That just might work," Jasper's reaction felt so good, he never doubted me.

"Yes but it's going to take a lot of work," I bit my lip and thought for a bit. I had just told Jasper that I had a plan to get Canaan before he got us.

I told him that we needed to get more background information, which meant "borrowing" the information that Alice and Edward had found on him before. The name Cato Canaan kept ringing in my head it just didn't sound like a normal name but again no one that we encountered was normal.

"Renesmee would have to get the papers for us or Alice will see," I thought about this for a second while he rubbed circles into my back.

"Would it be a bad thing if she did?" His hands stopped moving and he turned to face me.

"What are you thinking in there?" his eyebrow rose in curiosity.

"I'm thinking that Alice is desperate for my forgiveness and friendship that she would be willing to do anything for me…us." He thought about it for a minute. Was he going to say that it was manipulative to do so?

"I never knew you were a schemer," his hand continued to rub circles in my back. I turned to face him.

"Oh Mr. Hale there's so much to learn." I leaned in a placed my lips unto his. The spark was instantaneous as I pushed him hard against the bed.

I could feel his hands making their way up to the strings that tied my shirt together. As much as I wanted to continue, there were greater tasks at hand, and the name Cato was still buzzing in my ears. Jasper felt the same way because of instead of untying my shirt he spoke softly into my lips.

"We should get down stairs." I looked into his eyes and nodded. In less than 10 seconds we were downstairs with the rest of the group.

They were scattered; some outside practicing and the wolves in the kitchen eating. So many things were going on at once I had to stay focused, ripped my shield away from me covering Jasper who was nearby. If this was going to work, Edward couldn't find out.

"You look like you're up to something," I looked at Jacob who was holding a very big sandwich in his hand. He knew me so well.

"Why do you think so?" I was going to have to lie.

"You got that look in your eye. What's going on Bella? Is there something about this Cato guy that you're not telling us?"

"Jacob you know that you would be the first person that I would tell anything."

"Just don't worry too much, you always worry too much." His smile came back.

"Not this new Bella." He shook his head and rolled his eyes. I smiled and walked over to Jasper. If we were going to do what we planned then we needed to do it now.

"Where's Alice?" I joined him at his side. He didn't say anything but stared forward.

I followed his gaze, Alice was in the living room area; her hands entwined with Edward's. I turned to Jasper; he looked at me then and nodded. He my side swiftly and walked over to the loving couple. I could hear that he asked Edward if he could talk to him. Edward looked confusion and shocked but got up anyway, they disappeared upstairs. I took this as my cue to talk to Alice. She saw me advancing and shrunk back into the chair, I was kind of glad that I stirred some sort of fear in her.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"I'lldoanything," her words came out rushed and quavered a bit. I looked at her and continued to talk.

"Outside?" she smiled sadly and nodded her head. Alice also stirred up some feelings in me but I would have to keep them under control. She followed me outside and stood still when we stopped far from the house. "You saw this coming didn't you?" my voice was surprisingly calm.

"Yes I did." She was calm also.

"So you'll help?"

"Of course Bella," she stepped forward with a smile then stepped back again.

"And you won't tell Edward?" She was quiet, had she learned from before what kind of damage secrets could do?

"No I will not tell Edward. But I'm not so good at blocking out my thoughts from him. He'll know something is up if I block them out for long."

"I'll cover you when I can." Were we really going to work together? Sudden another thought came into my head.

If Alice and I pretended to be friends then it would be easier to cover her. Her face searched the air in front of us and I knew that she just saw the new changes. She smiled awkwardly and nodded her head. Even though I hated what Alice had done, there was still a part of me that longed for her friendship; however that part of me was very small but still existent. I sat to the ground flustered; if I pretended to be her friend I could actually end up being her friend… could that be a bad thing? She stuttered before getting her words out.

"You don't have to do anything that you don't want to; we don't have to pretend to be anything." I looked up at her face; she was obviously beleaguered by my lack of friendship and I well was tired of having the family spilt. Could I be the answer to this? I got up in a swift cool movement.

"I hate that our family is divided Alice…I don't want to be the cause for it."

"Me too, and it's not your fault, it's mine. I shouldn't have-" I put my hand up to make her stop.

"Let's promise never ever to talk about that," She looked me in the eye and smiled small. "I just want things to be back to normal, without us fighting." In a rapid lunge she hugged me and I was solid, I didn't know what to do. She sensed this and pulled away.

"Oops sorry Bella," she looked down, I laughed and she looked up.

"Let's just go slow." I stretched my hand out and she took it, holding it while smiling her own Alice smile… I missed that.

"I've missed you Bella," I smiled tenderly.

"Me too."

"So do you want a copy of all of the information that we've found?"

"Yes and also the last bank statement, Jasper wants to see it."

"He doesn't want to see me, does he?"

"Can you blame him?" She sat down and I joined her.

"I always knew that Jasper and I wouldn't be together forever, even he knew."

"How?"

"When we first met, I had a vision of him saying 'I guess our forever up' I just never thought it would be now."

"Wow," I knew what I had to ask now; if Alice and I were going to be friends then I would have to know this answer. "Do you still love him?" Her eyes darted to mine.

"Oh I'll always love Jasper…I guess I'm just not in love with him." I smiled and took her hand as I got up.

"You ready to make a show?" She laughed.

When we got into the house everybody was still scattered, except for our family who were still divided. Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper stood in one corner while Carlisle and Edward talked in the other. Alice and I walked in still holding hands, immediately all of their eyes whizzed to our connected hands. Esme was the first to smile, then Carlisle, Rosalie, and Emmett. Jasper looked confused and Edward…cold.

"We're tired of fighting." I made sure that my shield held us both in snuggly "This division isn't healthy, especially when we're about to be in a fight for our lives."

"We can't change the past," she looked at me and frowned slightly. "But we can change what happens now." I moved away from her and joined Jasper the others. I took my hand and entwined it with his.

"So what do we do now?" I asked looking toward Edward. I didn't care if he was mad that I didn't reconcile with him yet, I was still mad as ever at him.

"Wait, and get ready. Alice and I have everything else under control." He was holding back on us, but now we could help; Jasper, Alice and me.

I looked at the family before me; Carlisle had moved towards the other half and they hugged, it made me feel good that Alice and I brought our family back from the ruins. I looked at Jasper who was wearing the _we have to talk _face. I smiled at him and walked into the backyard.

"Friends?" he wasn't mad, just confused. I took his hand and ventured further into the forest.

"Kind of,"

"Kind of?"

"Well first I thought that it would be a good idea that we pretend so that we could get more information, but then I looked at her Jasper… I missed her."

"Do you miss Edward too?" He was just asking.

"I don't think I could even pretend liking him, I'm still mad."

"Okay,"

"I get if you don't want to be around Alice either," He smiled.

"Thanks. It might take a while before I'm completely ok with what she did." I nod and smile. Jasper and I understood each other perfectly.

"So I think we're ready to do this," I lean into him, breathing in his warm scent.

"Yes we are Bella," He enclosed me in a hug and kissed the top of my head. " We're ready for anything." We are ready for anything.

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	19. An Itching Confrontation

**Sorry for the wait guys... my mum just had surgery so i was playing nurse. But anyways here it is hope you like it! don't forget to Review.**

**Much love Jasperbells!!! Don't stop luving the Jasperellaness!**

We were outside again, practicing for what was to come. Everyone seemed ready for it, even Renesmee, who wasn't allowed to fight. I looked at them, some laughing playfully; mostly the wolves, and others with cold hard faces. I turned and looked at Jasper, immediately his eye caught mine and he gave a slight nod. I then I turned to Alice, she looked to me too and gave a weak smile and nodded. The three of us excused ourselves and walked into the house, making sure first that Edward hadn't noticed… he didn't. Edward was preoccupied with teaching his group how to distract your opponent without getting killed in the process. I lingered at the door watching his solid back move. I couldn't help but to laugh silently to myself, before all of this happened, I would've been standing at this door mesmerized…intoxicated by his graceful moves. But I felt nothing, just emptiness from not being held in the arms of the man that I truly loved…Jasper. I turned and met his gaze, he picked up on my attitude and mouthed, _"I love you too Bella." _I smiled and motioned that we should go upstairs, they both nodded as we made our way upstairs. I sat near Jasper as Alice left to get some papers. When she came back into the room, she sat in a chair not too close by or too far. She placed the papers onto the small table that sat before us and spread them out.

"I got a hold of his bank statements also, not much information though, but it looks like he hasn't spent any of the money that we had wired to him," I was confused. Why hadn't he transferred the money out or at least spent some of it?

"That seems odd," I told Alice.

"Very," I couldn't help but to think, the name still tugged at me, it was too familiar, too made up.

"The name Cato Canaan seems odd also, are we sure that it's not an alias?" I picked up a paper with his bank information.

"It must be, but it will take a while to figure that kind of information out. People who make aliases are good at hiding their tracks," I thought about what Jasper said for a moment.

"Are we sure that he is human? I mean he could be a vampire, how else could he have made those newborns?"

"He hasn't made any indication of being human. But if he exposes us then he would be exposing himself also." The pieces just didn't fit; Canaan seemed almost like a fictional character masking someone else, someone who wanted us dead.

"Bella is right; this just doesn't seem to be fitting. Cato Canaan has to be someone who we know." Alice scrunched her face together and I knew that she was seeing something. She stared fiercely into the thick air surrounding us and concentrated. Her face relaxed and I knew that she was done.

"What did you see?"

"When we talk about things they trigger the visions. I saw that Cato Canaan is a female, and yes a vampire. I couldn't see her face but she spoke Jasper's name."

I turned in fear to Jasper. Did this woman know Jasper or did she want to kill Jasper, whichever one it was, it caused me to pull him to me. I buried my head in the crook of his neck and squeezed him tightly. His arms slowly went up to push me away. I looked up at him confused. But his eyes were serious and distant.

"What's wrong?" It looked like he struggled to speak but then he did.

"You have to leave." Fear and anger coursed through my veins.

"What? No I'm not going anywhere." He stood up taking me with him, his arms strong on my shoulders.

"You have to Bella or you will die." I was confused and I'm sure that it showed on my face. "You have to leave with Renesmee." I was even more confused.

"I'm not leaving you." I pleaded; I placed my hands on either side of his face. "I'm never leaving." He looked like he did when I was human; pained and distraught.

I felt him his hands leave my shoulders and wrap themselves around me into a warm hug. I felt like my body was on fire, I always felt this way when he was close to me. But I couldn't think right now about the lust building up in me, pooling between my legs, because he was asking me to leave. I hesitantly pulled away, his arms dropping. His expression still looked distressed. He knew this woman, the only name that I could think of that would cause for him to look like this was…Maria.

"But why would she do this?" I looked at me, his eyes full of grief.

"Resentment, she hates that I left and was able to make a family." I looked at Alice, she did not seem oblivious to who we were talking about. She sagged into the chair and let her head fall into her hands.

Maria was pure evil; she had made Jasper into her slave; making him kill and train newborns. It was hell for him and now she was back, threatening to take away all that he had built.

"We have to tell the others," Alice's voice was quiet. "They have to know who we're going against." Jasper nodded solidly.

"But I don't get why I have to leave, Renesmee also." He stepped closer.

"Maria is gifted Bella, do you remember what I told you before?"

I did, Maria had attracted Jasper just by looking at him, forcing him to do whatever her mind willed. But he escaped; he fought her gift, escaped and found Alice. I need to be here, to protect everyone from her gift.

"Yes I remember, she can attract people,"

"It's more than attraction Bella, she can bend you to her every will, make the thought of killing your love one seem pleasurable and pleasant."

"But I can shield her, I can protect us all." He sighed and shook his head.

"I'm sure you will be able to, to some extent but she's strong Bella, stronger than the Jane from the Volturi. I won't be so easy to do so. With the distraction of the newborns it'll be too much for you to handle."

"So you expect for me to leave just because it will be hard to win? I won't do it Jasper, we have to try."

"When I left her Bella, she promised that I would pay for it, my most loved one would pay for it…you," I swear my vision blurred, this was a lot to take it.

"But why now? Why now!" My last words came out in a loud snarl, I'm sure Edward and the others heard.

"Edward is coming," Alice put in as she shoved the papers back into the folder and rushed to put them back. She was right, 30 seconds later Edward showed up at the door.

"What's wrong?" I couldn't speak, my whole world just shattered. I felt Jasper pull me into his side.

"We have to talk to the family, to everyone." He looked confused but nodded.

We walked downstairs hand in hand, Jasper had calmed me but I still felt uneasy. Everyone was gathered in the living room sitting and standing. I looked at Jasper, the pained expression still made home to his face. He motioned that I sit down but I shook my head no, I wanted to be close to him, I didn't want to leave him…ever. He nodded his head in acknowledgement and gripped my hand even tighter. Everyone seemed to pick up on the mood, their faces looking anxious.

"Cato Canaan does not exist." Jasper's voice was loud. Everyone seemed confused. They sat silently waiting for an explanation. "We've recently discovered that Cato Canaan is an alias name. The person who is planning to unleash the newborns is my ex lover Maria." The eyes in the room, apart from my family, seemed even more confused. I really wished that they knew how it would be hard for Jasper to relive his past. "She and I used to train armies of newborns; she is the one who changed me." I could see that it did hurt him to talk about it. I cleared my throat.

"She's gifted with the power of attracting men and bending them to her every desire. If we're going to beat her… we're going to need more practice, this time with me shielding." The faces I saw grew more aware of what we were about to face.

"Well then what are we waiting for? If we're going to kill the crazy bitch we should start now." I turned and smiled at Emmett, this time his words were much appreciated.

The group understood and they rose to fight outside, the room emptied quickly. I looked at Jasper's face; he seemed somewhat calmer than before. I smiled at him and ran my hands through his hair.

"I'm not going anywhere," I kissed him lightly and left to practice outside. However I didn't make it outside because a very mad Edward pushed me back towards Jasper and Alice.

"Why didn't I know this before?" Was he serious? I wasn't in the mood for his games.

"We just found out about this Edward literally five minutes ago."

"Why wasn't I involved? Why didn't I know this earlier?" I didn't want to be angry right now, my shield needed all of my energy.\

"Because Edward it was easier without you," I instantly regretted saying this after seeing the face he made; agony. He had to know that if we all worked together nothing would get done. "Look, we just wanted answers; we were tired of being in the dark."

"You could've asked." He almost snarled.

"We shouldn't have to, like it or not, we're still family." I looked down at where his ring used to be on my finger. "Please don't be mad just go outside and help them, we're going to need you," I looked up and met his gaze, his expression softened as he nodded. I smiled at Jasper and took his hand as I walked outside. The group was separated by gender; I spotted Zafrina and waved her over.

"That was an interesting meeting," she had a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"You have no idea." I looked up at her.

"So do you need me to help?"

"Yes you and Kate." She nodded and bounded off to pull Kate away from Garrett, they were newlyweds. I felt bad having to involve them in this, but we need them both. She came over.

"What do you need us to do?" she asked nicely.

"Use your gifts at full force, no holding back. Try as hard as you can to knock my shield down." They both nodded as I signaled the group over. "Okay I need half of you guys to attack me and the other half just stand here." They looked confused. "Maria is going to aiming for you guys and I need to practice, we need to practice having me shield while you fight, while we both fight." They understood now and evenly divided their group. I noticed that Edward was a part of the attacking group. This was going to be interesting.

**Reviews Please!! Thanks hope you liked it!!**


	20. With you

**Heyy guys here is another chap. im not sure ill be able to post tomorrow so here it is. Review plz**

I could see that Jasper had to look of confusion in his eyes, but not fear; I knew that he trusted me. I prepared my shield for the assault, whipping it away from me, tightening it around the group that I had to protect. I looked over at Zafrina and Kate and signaled for them to start. Then I signaled to the other group to begin attacking me. They seemed a little hesitant at first but started to advance towards me. I could feel Kate's sharp currents stabbing at my shield, looking for weak spots. It didn't hurt but it wasn't pleasant either, Zafrina's wave of images also looked for cracks in my shield. Suddenly was knocked to the ground, I looked up to see Edward towering above me. Did my shield hold? I felt it pull in a bit but I quickly nudged out to its original place. I stood up quickly, he didn't move. His face looked pained. Did it still scare him to fight me? I looked at him; he still stood solid. When I got close enough I darted to his left, lunging knocking him down. I didn't look back as I advanced to the next person. I saw Jasper making his way toward me. I knew that it would have to be him that I had to fight next; he was just as good as the newborns.

"You didn't have to fight him," his voice was calm as he circled around me.

"Not much of a fight," he grinned as we began our dance. He faked to his left and I fell for it, within a second I was flung to ground.

Everyone was watching, I turned fast enough to see that my shield had broken. The group that I was supposed to be protecting now lay paralyzed to the ground. Without delay I pushed my shield back forcefully. I sprang to my feet and arched my back preparing for his next blow.

"You're losing focus Bella. Don't let your shield take up too much of your attention; it works for you, not the other way around. It is a part of _you_." I nodded and relaxed, I realized that I was holding in a lot of tension toward my shield, instead of letting it flow freely. "That's it beautiful, let it flow." I smiled and continued to circle him.

He quickened his pace and became more erratic, just like a newborn. He charged at me, hammering me down. He snarled at me, making desperate attempts to sink his teeth in my neck. But I was more confident; I reversed my position, pinning him down.

"Good job Bella. Once you get them into his position tear their limbs off," I nodded and leaned down, brushing his lips softly on his.

"So I can stay?" I murmured into a kiss.

"I don't think I could keep you away anyway," I laughed and got up. I looked at Zafrina and Kate and signaled for them to stop.

I felt exhausted and stressed, it took a lot from me to balance my shield with attack skills. I would have to practice with Jasper and Kate more. But for now we needed to contact Peter and Charlotte, they might be able to help. Later in the night while wrapped in Jasper's arms I brought up the topic.

"Maybe we should contact Peter and Charlotte," I said into his chest.

"Yes, I've already sent out a letter to them."

"One letter?" I looked up at him.

"Yes, they live together," I nodded and held his gaze.

"I hope that they can help us." He sighed and pulled my chin up with his hand.

"They will, I know it." I felt his lips on mine.

I felt his fingers trail down my neck, the mere touch of him set my body, particularly my lower body; ablaze I leaned in and pressed my lips tighter to his, our mouths opening and our tongues meeting in the middle. He wrapped one hand in my hair, pushing my mouth harder against his while his other hand trailed down my body, cupping my breast. I moaned into his mouth and arched myself deeper into his touch. I could feel a wetness gathering between my legs, soaking my underwear. We barely had time to do any of this, so tonight I was going to take advantage of the time we had. I wanted him so badly then, I wanted to feel him inside of me, filling me. I blushed mentally at the thought.

"Bella," he whispered huskily into my mouth. I don't think I could answer him, but I did anyway.

"I want you Jasper, all of you."I said my voice raspy and hitching. I could feel his hands rubbing my already taut nipple through the thin lacy bra that I had on. But then his hands stopped moving.

"Your emotions are conflicted right now; I don't want to take advantage of you."

"Please Jasper, I want you." He kissed my neck and looked into my eyes.

"I want you too Bella, but not like this. I want all of your attention, your mind only to me." He kissed me again and buttoned my blouse back up. I couldn't help but feel rejected. "Don't feel that way Bella please. Do you know how hard it is for me every day to watch you? To restrain myself from pinning you down and having my way with you? I think about being with you every second." His gaze met mine.

"Really?"

"Sometimes I wonder about what would happen if I wasn't able to control my emotions. When this is all over Bella, I promise we will be together, but right now things are too hectic. I want it to be perfect Bella." I wanted it to be perfect too. I nodded snuggled my head into his chest.

The next day we prepared to practice again. Edward sat on the porch alone looking up at the gray sky. Should I sit with him? I walked out and sat beside him, he immediately smiled.

"Bella," I furrowed my brows, should I smile back?

"What are you doing out here…alone?" He chuckled and looked back up to the sky.

"No one seems to want my company anymore." Great now I felt bad.

"You can't blame them,"

"No I can't," he got up to leave but I found myself pulling him back down.

"I'm sorry, please sit," he looked down and nodded.

"I didn't mean it that way. Look, it's hard for everyone here to just let go of the past especially when you won't either. Yes I'm still a little pissed, but I'm over it, you should be too." I looked into my eyes.

"How can I? How can I forget how I hurt you?"

"You can't completely forget about it but just don't dwell on it." He seemed to understand this.

"I'm sorry, I really am." He looked sad.

"I know you are Edward, but sorry doesn't change the past…but thank you for um apologizing. I should go now." I got up and left.

Jasper met me in the middle of the back yard.

"Is he forgiven?" he voice was a bit harsh.

"No, just pitied. He thinks he has no friends."

"Ready?" he asked changing the subject. I nodded and signaled to Kate to start. Although Zafrina's power was strong, Kate's power was more painful.

I pounced at him, throwing him straight into a tree, but he quickly recovered and lunged back at me, twisting my arm behind my back into a tight knot.

"If you are ever in this position, the first thing I want you to do is knock them with your head." He released me and I nodded.

"But what if I'm not fast enough?" Realization crossed me.

"I'll be there…I promise." He pulled me into a hug. "Just promise to stay close by ok."

"I'll never leave you." He pulled me even closer.

We had less than 1 day until the attack; Renesmee was off at Renee's in Florida. It was hard for Jacob to let her go but he did. We had gone over the plan over and over again, that it was now wired into my mind. Jasper was going to attempt to talk to Maria, to calm her down. That was if she showed up first and not the newborns. If she didn't calm down then we would be forced to take her down. The thought of possibly getting the Volturi involved did cross my mind but it was forcefully pushed away as I thought about how they would try to involve us being killed somehow. I didn't want to risk that, I didn't want to lose Jasper, my love, my world. Everyone felt that way: Alice and Edward, Esme and Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie, the list was endless. Everyone was fighting for their loves ones. I couldn't help to think that maybe all of this trouble started because of me. But wouldn't Maria come regardless? I hated her, I hated her with every ounce of hate that I had in me. She was not going to win; even if that meant doing something drastic…_I_ was going to save my family. Also in my mind was Jasper, I couldn't stop thinking about being with him, to feel his touch. I lost my train of thought as I felt arms wrap around me. I turned to him, raising my hands to wrap them around his neck.

"You seemed like you were in deep thought"

"I was," I leaned into his chest.

"Care to share?" I sighed.

"Just about how much I love you and how much I want to be with you…physically"

"Bella," He sighed.

"I know but you asked."

"Yes I did." He kissed me lightly and pulled away. "Remember what we talked about okay."

"Which part?" I teased.

"Everything Bella. Tomorrow we will fight. Promise me you won't do anything…crazy. I can't lose you."

"I…I"

"Promise me Bella!" He hissed. I slid one hand behind my back and crossed my fingers.

"I promise." He nodded and leaned down to kiss me. I leaned into his touch and bent towards the sink.

"Bella," he said again but this time his voice rough. "We need to get going, and I can't, we can't be distracted." I nodded and hugged him,

"I love you Jasper,"

"Why does that sound like goodbye?"

"I love you Jasper,"

"Bella!"

"I'm never going to leave you Jasper. I love you"

"I love you too my Bella, forever and always."


	21. Authors NOTE!

**sorry for the long wait guys i forgot to tell you that i was on Spring Break! im sorry i couldn't get the post up but i promise a very long post coming up tomorrow! Today is my mom's b-day(woot woot) so we're going out to eat so I wont be able to post tonight! Hope you guys didn't lose trust in me tomorrow's post will be amaaazing! Much luv Jasperbells**


	22. Now or Never

**Here it is just as promised!! Beware Cliffhanger!!!!! Don't forget to leave a review. I really like this chapter hope you do too!**

**Much luv Jasperbells!!!**

I kissed his lips once more, savoring the alone time that we had before we would face our demise. What chances did we have in winning? From what I heard, Maria was ruthless and wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted. My mind kept pushing one thing to my mind, the one thing I promised Jasper I wouldn't do. I promised that I wouldn't try to save our family alone, that we were a team. But Jasper isn't who Maria wants…she wants me to suffer.

He left me for a minute to prepare the group; the time to fight was here. I would have to shield everyone, this I knew I could do. I tested my shield, uncoiling it and pushing it as far as my mind could handle. The glowing screen held tight and I felt confident. However for some reason I couldn't erase the thought from my mind; that Maria once controlled Jasper, could she do it again? Would he be able to stop himself if it came down to it? I violently forced the thoughts from my mind, I was stronger now. The new Bella didn't worry and I trusted Jasper.

He jogged back to me and took my hand into his.

"Alice says we have about thirty seconds," I nodded my head, relishing this moment; his hand in mine. I looked forward, silently thanking that Renesmee wasn't here…I wanted her to survive. I felt Jasper's grip tighten so I turned to him. "Just remembered you promised Bella," I did promise.

"Yes I remember," he smiled warmly as he brought my hand to his mouth; placing a chaste kiss.

He nodded; signaling for me to step behind him with the rest of our family and friends. I looked at him for the last time and walked to where Jacob sat and Alice stood. Jasper stood erect, his hands at his sides. He was alone up there and it killed me to see it that way. I felt a nudge on my waist and knew that Jacob was trying to get my attention. I looked into his big dark eyes; he whined slightly and nodded his head. I smiled back and scratched the fur behind his ears; that always helped him relax. Alice took my hand and squeezed it lightly; I squeezed back, never breaking my sight away from Jasper's back.

A thick obscure fog started to build up in the forest. When the mist started to clear up, an outline began to form. A beautiful woman, too beautiful to be human emerged…it was Maria. She was small and I could help but to stifle a laugh. The tiny brunette took her time to walk to Jasper. As she got closer, I could see that her tanned face was smug…she was smirking. How could such a small person do so much damage? My hand dropped from Alice's to form a tight hard fist. I felt a ripple of calm flow through me and I realize that Jasper wanted me calm. I reluctantly relaxed and flexed my hand out. She came closer, her chocolate hair falling straight onto her bare shoulders. Her hibiscus flowered baby doll tank top almost made her look sweet, but I knew she wasn't…she wanted to hurt my family.

She seemed to have liked prolonging her entrance as she walked in almost slow motion, the smirk never leaving her mouth. When she was close enough to talk to Jasper she stopped, grinning wickedly at us all. I could feel the tension building, but I relaxed, knowing that my shield would be useless if I wasn't calm.

"Ay Jasper I see you've made a party to welcome me," she eyed the wolves and smiled sadistically. "But it really is unnecessary, see I don't plan on staying, just…visiting." Her thick Mexican accent was sharp. He tightened my shield around Jasper, suctioning around his body.

"It's nice to see you too Maria," I cringed at his words.

"You never were a good liar Jasper." She laughed slightly.

"Well what do you want to hear?" If Jasper didn't want to talk, then I would be more than happy to tell her the truth. "The truth?" he stepped closer.

"Very much so," She closed the bridge between them.

"What are you doing here?"

"You didn't expect me never to visit did you? I mean the last time we saw each other was in Calgary."

"Yes I remember,"

"That didn't go so well, so I thought I'd come back and remind you. The way you speak is almost as if you didn't know that I was coming. I'm sure your future seer over there saw me coming." She cocked her head in my direction, her gaze avoiding mine.

"Yes she did,"

"Then why ask Jasper? Should I tell you anyway? Enlighten everyone? Should I tell them how one day we're fulfilling Benito's prophecy," Her small voice pierced the air. "How we were good together, all the amazing sex we had, the love we shared. Should I tell them how you just left?"

"Maria, I did once see you as Goddess but… things have changed…I have changed."

"Pfft, change? Vampires don't change Jasper, we can try to hide who we are but in the end we are and always be monsters."

"It doesn't have to be that way Maria…you can change too."

"Ha change is underrated Jasper… creating armies of newborns is so much more fun." She smiled and looked back at us. "I see you were able to gather an army of your own,"

"It isn't an army. These are my friends and family."

"However, I am quite impressed with the wolves." She said completely ignoring Jasper's calm words.

"Maria you don't want to do this,"

"Stop trying to psychoanalyze me Jasper, it may have worked then but I'm stronger now." Jasper's powers are useless? "But I applaud your efforts Jasper; it is very hard to fight off the impulse to be calm." No, not useless.

"You still haven't told us what it is that you want,"

"Oh it's very simple Jasper…it's time for you to feel pain." I looked around, was this our signal to attack?

Edward took Alice's hand and kissed it. I turned away in partial disgust and I noticed that I wasn't the only one watching. Maria's eyes were glued to Alice, her eyebrows creased in confusion. Then it hit me; Maria didn't know about Jasper's break up…she didn't know that it was me she was after.

"You are very clever Jasper, did you really expect for me to believe that Edward, your brother is with Alice, your wife? Did you think that she would be spared?" A loud hiss rose from Edward's chest as he put a protective arm around Alice. Maria look confused again but she spoke anyway. "Oh how interesting, so you and the psychic aren't together anymore. Are you?" She asked demandingly, no doubt she was using her gift. Too bad it wouldn't work; my shield was wrapped around Jasper firmly. "Answer me!"

"I am no longer here for you to control Maria, your gift is useless."

"Useless? Ha, you've become very funny Jasper. See I'm not alone and your loved one will pay." Her hand went up into the air, snapping quickly. She arched her back and bared her teeth. "Just like old times Jasper…but this time with company." And like a fire cracker going off I could hear the running of the newborns.

They came out from the trees running at full speed, their eyes visibly crimson red. I looked to my sides; everyone was in position, Sam giving out commands, and Zafrina rubbing her temples. I turned my head back to Jasper; he was in deep combat with Maria. Her every blow was blocked by her, so was his… they were evenly matched. I focused my shield on him only since Maria was only targeting him…for now. I heard loud steps coming behind me, I whipped to see a blood crazed newborn coming at me at full force. One thing that I learned about newborns was that they were easily distracted, more so than we are. I pointed behind him and he turned to see what it was. I jumped onto his back, yanking his head off in one clean movement. His body flailing around, I pulled his arms from the sockets while growling, throwing it into the already made fire pit in the middle of the field. I did this to all his limbs. I started to run toward a crowd of them coming in. I kicked any forgotten limbs it into the fire as I approached more of them.

As I ran in towards them I was knocked to the ground. A red haired newborn was snapping at me, venom dripping from her mouth. I kicked her off me, temporarily confusing her. I pulled her up by her hair. Wrapping it tightly around my hand, she shrieked as I lifted her up, then slamming her back onto the ground. Pinning her down I sunk my teeth into her jugular, tearing away into her flesh. She kicked from under me, sending me flying. I forgot about their strength; was I really that strong once? She came at me laughing.

"Maria was right…this is too easy,"

"But Maria didn't tell you about me," She stopped laughing.

I jerked her toward me, pulling her arm down and out of its socket. "No one messes with my family. I took her moment of pain to yank her other arm off too. She stared at the gaping holes at her sides terrified. I couldn't help smirking as I lifted I did the same to her legs.

I threw her into the fire watching her opened mouth disintegrate into powder. I looked back to where they were coming out from, more and more poured out. I ran towards them killing the ones who got in my way. I turned back at Jasper, he was still fighting with my shield wrapped around him, I tore my gaze away and started to run. Then something unexpected happened, my vision started to blur, I couldn't see anything clearly. Could a newborn be doing this? Or was I hit in the eye and hadn't noticed? I stumbled a bit, squinting, only seeing image skewed. A Sharp pain hit my stomach and I screaming as loud as I could. It was burning, my stomach was burning. Then I realized that I was bit, my fell to the ground. A shrill laugh rung in my ears, I tried to look up but my vision allowed me to see nothing. Yes I could pull my shield into me and protect myself but Jasper needed it, Jasper needed to win. But if I died he would be unprotected. Vision or no vision I would fight. I ran away from the laugh but it followed, it was faster than I was. I was shoved into the ground my two strong hands. I floundered like a fish out of water, but the hands were stronger than I was, they held me tight against the ground. Then I remembered what Jasper told me. I flung my head up and bunted the newborn in the nose; I felt them tumble back a few steps.

My vision cleared slightly and I was able to see the newborn with jet black hair standing up. My eyes went black and I returned to the darkness. My mind told me one thing…run. I darted, not caring about the trees that I hit along the way. Was my shield down? I tested it pushing it out slightly then letting it back to its position from before, I was still protecting Jasper. I followed the scent of burning flesh back to the pit. Why wouldn't this newborn leave me alone? Again I was pushed to the ground. I struggled under the hold until I felt something worst than burning, I felt my arm being pulled from its place. I screaming in agonizing pain, there was no way that my shield was still up. I could still feel my arm though; I could feel it crawling away. It was over; I was going to die without saving my family. I opened my mouth and croaked lightly.

"Jasper"

It was me saying goodbye, saying sorry for failing. Then out of the blue my vision returned, I blinked several times to adjust my eyes to my surroundings. Jasper stood there tearing the black haired newborn apart. He flung her appendages into the fire. His face relaxed as he turned to me.

"Bella!" He pulled me into his arms and I winced at the pain of where my arm used to be. He looked down and grabbed my crawling arm, sticking it back into its hole. The searing pain disappeared as I felt my arm reconnect its self.

He pulled me into his chest kissing my head. I wrapped my arms around him. I had to stop the sobs that I knew would shake my body if I started.

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't be darling. Now let's go Maria will be here soon." I pulled away but we were too late. The petite brunette stood before us grinning.

"So this is where her love lies, with the shield." I gasped, how did she know? "Oh did you think that I was stupid young one? Did you not think that I saw how your gaze flickered to him as we fought? Very clever, never clever indeed." I arched my back preparing to attack. "Oh please, I could kill you in a second. It does only seem fair since you killed my gifted one." My eyes flashed over to the burning pit. "She_ is_ beautiful, Bella is it? Well Bella it was very nice to meet you but I'm going to have to kill you." She stepped forward just was I stepped back. "Don't be scared _Bella_" I hated the way my name sounded coming out from her mouth. She lunged at me but Jasper blocked her. He turned to me with fear in his eyes for me,

"Run Bella, run to the others,"

"I can't leave you Jasper," he deflected another of her attempts at me.

"Bella please… you promised." I bit my lip and nodded. I hurt so much to turn away but I ran into the forest, making sure that my shield spanned across him.

I ran to the second burning pit. Everyone stood around it. I turned my back to see Maria behind me; she was running faster than I was. I pumped my legs harder and I could see Edward's eyes flicker up to me. He had fear in his eyes…fear for me. He caught me into my arms and looked down at me.

"Where is Maria?" I turned into the forest breaking away from him, Maria wasn't too far back, but where was Jasper? Did she kill him? I looked farther behind her, Jasper was there running. He wasn't as fast as her but at least he was alive.

"We need all the gifted ones to kill her Edward." He nodded and turned to the group.

"You guys heard her," Immediately Ben, Zafrina, Kate, Siobhan, stepped forward. They had the most powerful gifts, but it was Ben and Zafrina who were going to help me end this.

Finally Maria made it into the clearing, I nodded to Ben. She flew up into the air and began to scream.

"Put me down!" I nodded at Zafrina, she smiled and nodded back. "AHHHHHH!" Maria wriggled in the air. Just then Jasper came in, he looked okay. He ran to my side and I took his hand.

"This ends now Maria,"

"Please spare me, show me your way of good."

"She's lying," Maggie interjected. I turned to Ben who was focusing on Maria.

"Can you do it?" A slow smile crept up onto his face and he nodded.

Almost instantaneously Maria was engulfed in flames. She kicked and screamed but she was quickly silented.I looked at Ben again and he nodded. A strong wind came from above us and Maria's arms, legs and head were pulled from her body. They dropped to the ground and burned.

It was over…we won. I looked at Jasper. He looked different. Something was wrong.

**Cliffhanger... i kno i kno it sucks but cliffhangers make ppl review! lol REVIEW more often and there will be less cliff hangers. lol ****Dont stop luving the Jasperellaness! Note ****:Bella has learned to push her shield away from herself but can still control it to make it protect others. Since she was far away from Jasper she did this, she wasn't able to cover herself and Jasper. That is why when she was attacked she wasn't protected; her shield was with Jasper!**


	23. Saving Me, Saving You

**Heyy guys, sorry if this seems short but I had to put less dialogue and more thoughts from Bella! Enjoy the lemons lol Anyways don't forget to review!!**

**Much luv Jasperbells!!!**

**Disclaimer: I Do not own Twilight or any of the characters **

Was he hurt? I looked over his body, examining him closely. I couldn't see anything that looked required my instant worrying. Jasper was alive and we had won, but why did it feel like something was off? He was here in front of me but he felt so far away. He stared at the remains of Maria's burning body, his eyes glued to the glowing flames. I squeezed his hand hoping that I could pull some kind of reaction from him but he didn't seem to notice.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" he was quiet; not saying a thing. "Jasper talk to me," again he was silent.

Fear surged through me; what happened to Jasper while I was running? I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to meet who it belonged to.

"Just let him take it in Bella. Maria and Jasper _were_ close once." Carlisle smiled slightly and walked away.

Time? Jasper needed time? Maria deserved to die, she deserved to burn. He was looking straight ahead now, his features pained. I released his hand and walked to stand in front of him. I placed my hand on his face, stroking his cheek lightly.

"It's all over Jasper, she's not going to hurt us anymore," more silence. I signed and dropped my hand. What was wrong? I pulled his hand into mine again and started to walk, hoping that he would follow. But he didn't budge; he stayed rooted to his spot. "Let's go home," he turned to me, eyes cold.

"I need time alone," his voice was harsh and distant. I took me back a bit to see him like this, especially towards me.

Should I just leave him? Give him the time he needs to sort things out? Or should I be here for him? Help him through this. I cursed mentally for the flood of returning questions. He needed this time to think…without me. I followed my gut as I jumped up slightly to kiss his cheek. I leaned into his ear and whispered.

"If you need me I'll be in our room." I hesitated a bit but then whispered that I loved him.

It was hard to walk away, to see him standing alone while the rest of my family and friends walked inside to celebrate our victory. Yes we did when but I felt like I just lost a piece of my Jasper.

I sat on the couch, watching from a distance as the wolves clapped hands with each other and exchanged battle stories. But I felt lonely; it felt wrong to be doing this without Jasper. My nose curled up as I smelled Jacob sit beside me. He placed an around my shoulder and pulled me close.

"Ah c'mon Bells cheer up; we just won the greatest fight ever." He smiled his goofy smile. "Jasper will be fine, he just needs air to take this all in, you know"

"I know, I know, but I just can't help but feeling that there's more to it."

"See that's your problem Bella, you exaggerate and over think everything. Just chill out for a while."

"Oh thanks," He nudged me playfully and sunk his teeth into the massive sandwich he held in hand.

"So when does Ness come back?"

"Renee hasn't seen her in a while Jake quit being a hogger," I snapped back hastily.

"Whoa, okay you need space." He got up from the couch and mumbled bloody vampire under his breath.

He was right, I needed space. I needed to be away from his house for a while; the victory party only fuelled my anger. I shot up off the couch, making my way out the door. Once outside I felt a little calmer but I still worried about Jasper out there alone. Could he feel my worrying? I clenched my eyes shut and thought about how much it was causing me pain to not be with him, especially after my near death experience. I crossed my fingers praying that he felt that. I walked toward the garage and stared at the car that Edward had brought me before our wedding. It was still where I had left it. I opened the door and shut it hard, locking myself inside. I looked for the keys and found them in the hidden compartment. Started it up I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked angry. I sure felt angry; I felt a number of things. I slowly made my way out and onto the dirt pathway. Once on the main road I sped like a daredevil' not caring if I hated driving fast. I let my mind drift back to the last time I was in this car; Jasper and I were on our way to see Renesmee, it was before we knew we had feelings for each other. I remembered how we sat on the mountain top watching stars together, how it felt to feel his hand reach out to hold mine, how I entwined my fingers with his, enjoying the currents of electricity that ran through us.

I pulled over; the images becoming too overwhelming. I wanted to be with Jasper right now but he didn't want to be with me. I banged my hand on the steering wheel, denting it. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair that I almost died and now I couldn't be with him. Pained racked through my chest as I dry sobbed, hanging my head between my legs. I stayed like that for hours. When I finally looked up, it was dark outside and the red clock on the dashboard read 11:00pm. I started the car back up and drove slowly, taking the long way back to the main house. When I did get there, everyone was gone; the house was back to its normal quietness. I slouched as I made my way up to Jasper's empty room; sitting on the bed when I entered. Where was Jasper? Didn't I give him enough "alone time?" I didn't want to feel this, I didn't want to be in this situation, it reminded me too much about how Edward used to leave me alone. But I trusted Jasper, I knew that the last thing he would be doing would be cheating.

Making my way over to the open window, I jumped out landing lightly on my toes. I was going to look for Jasper. I walked back to where the battle took place, purposely avoiding where I was pinned and ripped apart. I looked at my shoulder; running my hand along the scar that if left there, it was clear just like the ones on Jasper. I started running now; following Jaspers sweet scent. I stopped when I saw him. He stood there looking straight ahead like before. My walked slowly to him, I reached out to touch him but he flinched back. I stepped back too.

"I thought about it Jasper, and I can't leave you out here alone,"

"Why not?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"Because you promised, remember? You promised that you would always tell me what was on your mind."

"You want to know what's on my mind?" He turned to face me, his eyes were black.

"Yes I do Jasper,"

"I'm a monster Bella, I will never change." I shook my head not understanding.

"That's not true Jasper, you had to kill them."

"That's what Maria used to tell me; that I needed to kill them, that I needed to fight."

I instantly regretted saying that. "I will never change Bella; I will always be that heartless killer."

"Jasper you're not a monster! And you're not heartless. Trust me when I say this." I reached out again but he cringed in response.

"You just don't get it Bella; you will _never_ understand how I'm feeling. You just don't get it." He started to walk away but I bit my lip and followed after him.

"You know what? You're wrong Jasper, I may not get it now but I will always know how you feel, I will always be there for you even when you don't want me to be. So you can keep on walking, I'll just follow until I do get it." He turned to me, still looking pained. He dropped to the ground, burying his head in his hands. I sat down beside him and pulled him into my chest; he wrapped his arms around me and cried.

"Help me Bella please, help me." His voice was soft and quiet.

"Of course I'll help you Jasper…I love you," His hold tightened.

"Show me how not to be like this… I don't want to be this monster" I pulled him in tighter.

"Jasper, we're going to fix this, I promise you we're going to fix this." I rocked him in my arms until the morning came. No one asked what happened and I didn't tell either. I covered him with my shield as we sat on our bed. He didn't say anything but looked at me with thankful eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

"It's hard to explain…but mostly like a failure,"

"Why?" My voice was calming.

"You needed me Bella and I was too selfish to see it."

"But you were there for me, you saved my life." I moved closer to him; resting my hand on his leg.

"I don't know what I would do without you Bella," He smiled and put his hand to my face; bringing me in closer.

He leaned into me, pushing me down onto the bed. With his finger he traced my lips with slow burning strokes. Finally his lips were on mine and I could feel all of the lust that he had built up. His tongue touched my lips and I immediately opened them; granted him the much wanted contact. Our tongues met together in the middle, slowly and erotically. I could feel his hand slowly reaching my button on my jeans and I followed his action; taking off his belt and throwing it to the floor. My jeans where off and so were his. My kisses deepened as he reached under my shirt, massaging my already excited nipple. I moaned in response and bucked my hips toward his; grinding my core on his center. He growled into our kisses and began moving with me as I rubbed my wet core against his strained boxers. The heat that ignited within me became more intense as he reached in between my legs to touch me. I screamed his name and begged him for more. But he stopped and lay beside me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice raspy.

"Bella, my beautiful Bella. We shouldn't be doing this. I'm not myself right now; it wouldn't be fair to you."

"I don't mind really," I said desperately, still high on the sensation he has caused me to feel. He chuckled and stroked my cheek.

"It's hard for me too darling, but I can't be who you want right now. I want our first time to perfect…just like you." I looked down.

"I'm not perfect Jasper,"

"You are Bella, more than you know." He kissed my lips and pulled me into his chest.

**Review!!!! Don't stop luving the Jasperellaness!!!**


	24. Back to the Norm

**Sorry its short today guys lol im in brainstorm mode so i hope u enjoy it anyway! Reviews please**

**i dont not own Twilight**

We lay in bed all day, soaking up each other's company, but I could still feel that there was more to talk about. He knew it too because he avoided talking about Maria and the newborns, even if it meant kissing me to shut me up. I snuggled in closer to his chest and laughed to myself when I remembered how many times Jasper dropped hints to liking me and how I was so blind to them all.

"What's so funny," I looked up at him and smiled

"Do you remember that day on the mountain?"

"I'd dream about it if I could," he looked down at me and rubbed my cheek. "That was the day I knew I had feelings for you,"

"Really?"

"I didn't know how to tell you so I figured that I'd just be your best friend instead,"

"You would be happy just being friends?"

"Back then I would say yes, but after all we've been through, I know that being just friends couldn't be an option."

"Same here. I love you Jasper so much and I can't imagine where I would be right now without you."

"You'd be in Alaska building toy trucks," I nudged him and laughed

"Very funny Jasper but you were supposed to say something similar like I love you too Bella,"

"I do love you Bella with every feeling that I possess in my body." He leaned toward my forehead and kissed me. "Maybe we should show our faces downstairs so they don't think that we're purposely avoiding them," he chuckled then started to get up.

I followed him down the stairs and into the kitchen. Esme smiled as we walked in and then returned to trimming flowers. I looked at the clock; it was late in the afternoon and for some reason I felt exhausted, I did use a lot of my energy for the fight so I guess I was still rebuilding it. I tested my shield but it limped weakly against me, not stretching out at all. I sighed; my shield was a big part of me, not having it strong made me uneasy.

"What's wrong?" Jasper placed his hand on my shoulder and gave me a serious but caring stare.

"My shield, it's basically dead. I guess it hasn't fully recuperated yet." I felt like I was talking about a patient or something.

"You did use it a lot. Do you want me to help relax?" I nodded and a wave of calm soothed me. I smiled and returned to my thoughts.

It still felt weird living here with everyone, especially Edward. I felt like he was a ticking time bomb that could go off any minute. Yes me and Alice reconciling did restore some order to the house but I could still sense hesitation. It was hard for all of us to be here…living together. I needed a place of my own… Jasper, Renesmee and I needed our own home. But how could I tell Jasper this? I knew he missed Esme terribly but I'm not sure how long I can stay. Would Jasper want to buy a house with me? I turned to Jasper who held my hand, lost in his own thoughts as well. He looked at me and arched his brows.

"You're thinking about something… I can feel it." Damn.

"Yes I am, but it's not important." I looked down, hoping that he would change the subject.

"It has to be important, you were scrunching your nose and you always do that when you're thinking about something important." I smiled and sighed.

"Okay, okay, I was thinking but I'm not sure how you're going to react," Esme looked up, smiled and left.

"You can tell me anything, you know that right?" He cupped my chin and pulled it towards his face.

"I do know that but I might be rushing things," he laughed and dropped his hand.

"Bella? Rushing things? That's impossible," I hissed at his sarcasm and laughed. "Seriously Bella what is it?"

"I want a house, well not a house but a new apartment… and I want you there with me." Is face went serious and I knew that I did rush things.

"You want us to officially live together?"

"Yes I do Jasper. I want you me and Renesmee to have our very own house… I mean if you want to." He swept me into a tight hug and showered me with kisses.

"Of course I want that Bella, I love you." I wave of my own relief rushed through me as he held me.

Esme popped into the kitchen with a wide smile on her face and I instantly knew that she had overheard.

"Yes Esme you can decorate the house,"

"Oh thank you Bella. I have so many ideas. So are you two buying a house or renting?" I turned to Jasper and he grinned.

"Definitely a house," he said proudly and I couldn't help but to grin also.

"Definitely a house," I repeated, taking his hand into mine.

"Oh I have so much to do! We have to go shopping Bella." And right on cue Alice appeared in the kitchen, towing Edward.

"Did I hear shopping?" I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Yes you did," she smiled at me and concentrated. I knew then she was looking into the future. Was she seeing our house or more?

"Oh my gosh," She smiled and hugged me.

"Oh my gosh what?" She pretended to lock her mouth with a key and walked out the kitchen taking Edward with her. "Okay that wasn't weird," I turned to Jasper with my brow furrowed.

"Very weird. But you know Alice… she never was quite…normal." I smiled

"Yes I know that but I wonder what she saw that made her rocket out of the room like that," Was there something more than a buying a house?

"Oh this is just great! You two deserve a place of your own just not too far."

"But not too close either." She smiled and nodded.

Although I was happy about buying a house, I still couldn't understand why Alice just left or what it was that she saw. It has to be something good because she was smiling. But what?

**Reviews please**


	25. Tough Love

**Hey Guys! For some reason this story was deleted. So I'm putting it back up, thanks**

**I Do not own Twilight but i wish i owned Jasper **

A surge of controllable fear ran through me as I looked into her ghostly eyes. Alice had decided that she was going to tell me what she saw. Whatever vision she had could either be good or bad. Honestly I didn't care what she saw, using Charlie's favorite phrase I told her need to know.

"But Bella." Alice whined.

I gave her a stern look which seemed to make her retreat. The last couple of days had been weird; Jasper had slipped further into an unexplainable depression. Okay it was explainable, but I couldn't bear to speak her name again, especially after all that happened. It was like all we had talked about for the last couple of weeks didn't matter anymore. The idea of buying a house disappeared.

Alice and I were friends but I wanted to live in the present, not the future. My thoughts wandered while we stood there in silence, I could tell that it was hard for her not to tell me what she saw. What if she saw something bad? Could Jasper and I survive another confrontation? Would he be able to fight without drifting into his subconscious mind, repressing his feelings?

"You worry too much,' his breath tickled my ear as I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist, I turned to meet his gaze.

He appeared better but not completely himself, something still lurked behind his amber eyes…something he was trying to hide.

"You're right, but after all that's happened I think I'm allowed to worry." He smiled weakly and nodded.

I sighed and leaned in to rest my head on his chest. If anything, having this war should've brought us closer but there was an invisible wedge between him and I, one that I only seemed to notice. We stood like that; him holding onto tightly as if I were struggling to run away. Did he feel like I was trying to run away? Our moment was interrupted when Renesmee came crashing into us. We reluctantly released our hold to let her in.

"Thank god you're alright mama, I was so worried. I missed you too dad.' He smiled at the newly acquired name and kissed the top of her head.

I didn't have to like Jasper to feel the love that radiated from us all; we truly were a family now.

"I missed you too Renesmee." His voice was sincere.

She leaned into his chest and reached up to put her small hand to my cheek. Instantly my mind was flooded with images of Jasper before and after the fight. So I wasn't the only one who noticed the change in Jasper, even Renesmee who wasn't at the fight knew that there was a burnt out light in Jasper. I smiled reassuringly at her but to no avail because the images continued to flow from her small palm. I gently moved her hand from my cheeks to my lips; softly kissing it before letting it fall to her side. Whatever the change that happened with Jasper; I planned to keep her in the dark.

"So we won right? No more newborns? No Maria?" She asked in her usual chiming voice. I could feel Jasper flinch but he smiled through it.

"Yes, it's all over." He said while smoothing out her baby hairs.

"Can we go home then?" She asked anxiously.

Home? Where was home? The lease on my apartment in Alaska had just expired and I wasn't sure that buying a house was an option right now. However everyone seemed more than content to let us stay here. Did they really expect for us to stay here? Could we stay here?

"Of course you can stay here."Edward said popping into the room to stand where we were.

My shield, shoot I forgot. Slinging it back up I glared at Edward. I looked up to Jasper; he seemed to be caught up in a day dream. We were discussing out living arrangements and here he was, staring into space. Why did it bother me so much? It bothered me that we had made a complete one eighty from where we were just last week. It bothered me because I wanted him to open his mouth and say that we'd be better off living away from the main house. But he didn't say anything. I snapped my fingers in the front of his face.

"Jasper? Jasper?" His eyebrows furrowed and he looked down at me.

"Sorry I….was thinking." I sighed.

"About?" I asked a bit frustrated.

"I think we should stay here," What? I was in awe. Why would we stay here….with Alice…Edward? "Let me finish Bella. I think Esme would be sad if we were to leave so soon again."

All my dreams of owning our own home and living together as a family diminished as he finished speaking. Feeling defeated, I slumped into the chair by Edward. So we were destined to live in the haunting shadows of adultery, pain and sadness. We were going to live in the house where Edward and Alice broke our hearts. And the worst part of it was that Jasper was oblivious to my feelings despite having the gift to feel them. I trust Jasper but I can't help but to feel that my reconciliation with Alice is soon going to be regretted.

I picked up the book that brought Jasper and I together, this book was what kept me strong the past months. It reminded me that Jasper and I could always fix whatever we were going through. I turned to my side on the plush bed and looked at the empty spot beside me. Jasper said that he was going for a walk but I knew that he wouldn't be back until morning… he always left at this time. I exhaled nosily and turned to lie on my back. I missed Jasper desperately; I missed knowing that we could talk about anything. NO! I promised myself that I was going to give Jasper my full trust. I am going to give him the space that he needs. There was a rustling outside the open window in the room. Curious I got up and looked out the window. It was just a tree, I sighed and walked back to the edge of the bed. I really wanted it to be Jasper but I promised that I would give him time. Staying in this room waiting would only drive me crazy. I grabbed the book and walked downstairs to the living room. Things will get better…I know they will.


	26. Fix

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

Silently scolding myself, I sat on the white couch across from Alice. A big smile slowly spread across her face. I just wanted to be alone; to think about how I was going to fix my family. She continued to smile menacingly while filing her already manicured nails. I remembered all the times we used to hang out and how I looked up to her in a way, now I'd do anything to make sure that we only talked once a day. Even after all that happened I could still remember that day in the clearing.

I opened the book and read those last words in the inscription, "_Come to me Bella,"_ I would do anything right now to rewind to before the battle happened. But I can't, I can only wait until he is ready to talk. The tapping of the nail filer on the couch pulled me out of my thoughts. Alice was staring at me with a questionable expression on her face.

"What is it Alice?"

"He needs you Bella," her voice was sincere and sweet.

Was this what she saw? Did she see that Jasper was finally going to tell me what was bothering him? However I didn't need Alice to tell me what it was. Deep down inside I knew that Jasper was struggling with the fact that Maria was dead. I did feel a twinge of jealousy though; I wanted all of his attention for myself. I hated myself for being so selfish.

"He _needs_ space Alice and that is exactly what I am going to give him…space,"

"Silly Bella, Jasper is the kind of guy who needs constant reassurance. Sitting here isn't going to make things automatically better." Why did she sound so condescending?

"I think I know what Jasper wants Alice. I'm going to give him space because he asked for it." Forget the friendship…I still hated her.

"_Did _he ask for it?" A small smirk played on her lips as she got up from the couch. "See you later Bella," I watched as she sashayed up the stairs.

I couldn't help but to let out a low inaudible snarl as I watched her leave. Was she teasing me? She did sometimes do that to me when I was human but still. Maybe Jasper did need me and by sitting here waiting I was just making it worse. I jumped up to the door but stopped before opening it. This could really make things penitent. I shook my head and darted out into the night, I followed his scent back to the clearing.

He was standing there staring at what I remembered to be the place where Maria was killed. I stepped closer to him; trying my best not to make any sounds which proved fairly easy. But his head whipped to the side look at me anyway. His features were pained and sullen; I resisted the urge to pull him into my arms; to hold him until he would hold me in return. It was like my feet had a mind of its own as I walked up to him. My body continued its mechanical movements at the same time as I reached up to touch his face. His expression softened under my touch and I breathed out in relief to his reaction. I felt his warm hand reach up to cover mine.

"I did it again, didn't I?" His voice was cautious and low.

"Kind of." He looked down; breaking our hold. "Just talk to me Jasper, tell me what's going on." He looked back up me; his eyes finally revealing the pain that settled behind the golden hue.

He sat down and patted the cold earth in front of him. I sat down and took his hand into mine; not wanting to lose his touch. He reached up to touch my cheek and dropped it half way back into my hands.

"I know that she was evil and that she threatened to kill our family but-" he stopped and looked up at the full moon that shone through the purplish gray clouds. "But I feel…I feel like a part of who I was…" He looked back at me, his eyes teeming over with agony. "I was just like her Bella, I would've done the same thing I-"

"But you didn't Jasper; you're not like her…not anymore. You know that."

"I will always be that person Bella!" He got up; his hands tightly clenched at his sides. "I may not be that monster now but it's in here." He jabbed violently at his chest.

"No, no it's not Jasper, you're not the same person you were before…you're not the monster you think you are." I stood up to look him straight in the eyes.

"Don't you get it Bella? Her venom changed me into this monster. You should know that better than anyone else." He turned away from me.

"My birthday party has nothing to do with it Jasper," He turned to face me again.

"How can you say that Bella? I almost killed you that night."

"But you didn't Jasper. I know that being around so many newborns again was hard for you but I saw your face that day. It wasn't the face of a monster," I walked up close to him and placed my hand on his cheek. "It was the face of the man I love, the man who was fighting to protect me. You may not feel this Jasper but I do." I moved my hand to cover his heart. "It's not the heart of a monster in here. Sometimes I swear that I can hear it beating," I leaned into him and pressed my ear to his chest. "I swear that it beats just for me, that our love makes us alive again. Can you honestly tell me that a monster could make me feel this way?" I looked up to reach his eyes.

"How do you do it Bella?" His voice was self forgiving; no signs of torture or agony. "How are you able to make me feel this way? In all the centuries of my life I have never felt so much love coming off of someone."

"It's easy when the person you love, loves you just as much." I snuggled deeper into his chest.

"God Bella I've been so stupid; I wasted weeks out here looking for something, when the one thing I needed was you."

"You needed that time to think, although it was hard for me, I don't regret letting you have that space."

"What made you come outside tonight?" I thought back to Alice's words and smiled.

"A good friend gave me advice," I smiled; finally realizing that Alice had been so arrogant to push me out here. I felt guilty for saying that I hated her.

"Hmm remind me to thank this friend of yours." He leaned his head down and pressed his warm lips onto mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself even tighter against than humanly possible, and then of course we weren't human. Our kisses weren't like our usually ones but more fervent and aggressive. I could feel his tongue probing my bottom lip for entrance; I opened my lips for him and felt the low growl of satisfaction vibrate through his chest. Our tongues instantly clashed together as if in a battle of their own. I could taste his arousal in my mouth as his hands went down further to cup my breast. I moaned into his kisses and was surprised when he pulled away. I breathed out necessarily and looked up to his eyes.

"I want you so much Bella, but not here," He looked around then back at the main house. We cringed simultaneously. I didn't want out first time together to be in the hearing range of Alice and Edward either. "God I want you so much," He came closer and buried his nose in my hair. "Will you let me take you out tomorrow for the weekend Bella? Just the two of us?"

"You never have to ask Jasper, I'm yours." I smiled up at him and met him in the middle for a sweet small kiss.

"Mine" He said as he continued to kiss me.

I finally had my Jasper back; excitement rolled through me as I wondered where we going to over the weekend. Wherever it was, I knew that I was going to be happy.

**Aww so I guess Alice isn't so bad after all...or is she? We'll just have to wait and see! Hmmm I wonder where Jasper is bring Bella? Somewhere romantic I hope. Warning Lemons in next chapter don't read if you're weak hearted. **


	27. Overwhelming Desire

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight!**

Excitement and curiosity rolled through me as I began to pack random clothes into a small bag. I happy to have any excuse to leave this house, I'd follow Jasper to the ends of the earth if that meant that we could finally be together…alone. Jasper looked up at me with a gleaming smile which I welcomed with a smile of my own.

"I'm excited too darlin', we finally get to have some alone time." I loved it when he used his southern charm.

I let my mind flitter back to tonight; how good it felt to have Jasper touch me that way, and how hard it was for me not to rip his clothes off and let him take me right there. I closed my eyes and small moan escaped my mouth. My eyes fluttered open when I felt Jasper come up right behind me.

"You do want to go on this trip right?" I turned to face him.

"Of course Jasper, I've been waiting so long to have any alone time with you." A wicked grin came across his face.

"Then you better stop sending me those lust waves or I won't be able to hold off my own desire to take you right now."

If I could blush, I'm sure I would be right now. He leaned down and nuzzled the skin in the crook of my neck. I arched my head back to give him more access. It just felt so good; I couldn't help but to entwine my hands into his hair. He kissed my neck and slowly brought his lips up to mine, which I embraced with my own hunger. I whimpered when he pulled away and rested his forehead onto mine.

"You have no idea what you do to me Bella." His voice was somewhat husky and rough; I knew that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

"Oh I have some theories," I lifted up my head and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "Come on lets finish packing."

I walked back to the bed and folded the rest on the clothes into the small bag. Renesmee was more than happy to let us have some alone time. I knew it was because it meant that she could have some alone time with Jacob. I wasn't worried about that at all; I trusted Jacob and he knew the rules just as much as I knew them. When the time was right, they would be together.

"Are you ready my Bella?" Yes I was his, and during this trip I planned to make it official. He quirked up his eyebrow and smiled. "You are proving to be a very naughty girl Bella, just what is it that you are thinking."

Now it was my turn to grin. I made a sign with my finger on my lips to tell him that it was my surprise for him. He met my grin with a bigger one and pulled my bag off the bed. I followed him downstairs to where a very sad looking Esme stood. Did she think that we were leaving? I didn't have to be an empath to feel the waves of sadness radiating from her. I smiled reassuringly at her and took her hands into mine. Esme was more than just Jasper's mom to me, she had become like a mother to me also.

"Don't worry Esme we'll be back." Jasper stole the words right out of my mouth before I had the chance to say it myself.

"So you too aren't running away?" her words made me frown a bit.

"We would never do that to you Esme…not again." I looked up to look into her butterscotch eyes; she truly was beautiful.

"Promise?" I laughed and squeezed her hand.

"We promise." She squeezed my hand back and smiled. I didn't know whether to be happy or not as I saw Alice and Edward make their way over to us.

"Aw mom they're not going to run away, they'll be back in exactly three days," I hated when she did that; I hated that she knew what surprise trip we were going on when I didn't.

I felt a current of calm and turned to Jasper with a grateful smile.

"Where are two going anyway and who is watching Renesmee?" His voice was on the edge of being cold. It reminded me of all of those nights when I tried to talk to him and all I got in return was coldness.

"She's with Jacob Edward," I didn't care if I sounded exasperated because honestly I really was wound up; I just wanted to leave already.

"You're leaving our daughter for three days with a pack of dogs?" I gritted my teeth and felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder, but it was no use, I was already incensed.

"You know she hates it when you call them that."

"Can you blame me? Why didn't you just leave her here with Alice and me? I scoffed. I would never do such a thing, only if she wanted it.

"She asked to be with him Edward, it was only fair." I crossed my arms against my chest.

"Hardly. Bella you should've told me first, I _am_ her dad after all." I laughed.

"Could've fooled me. Look Edward she wants to be with Jacob, not here with you two. No offense but she's still a little uncomfortable around you two." I tried to be nice.

"It's okay Bella we understand. Have fun on your trip." Alice chimed in, saving the day.

"Thank you." I looked at Edward one more time and suddenly felt bad; I didn't want to be that kind of mother, but I couldn't force Renesmee to do something that she didn't want to do either. "I'll tell her that she has to call every night before she goes to bed to check in. Happy?"

"Very," his expression was statuesque. I turned to Jasper with a smile on my face.

"Ready?" He smiled back and nodded. "Bye Esme, and thanks again Alice…for everything." She smiled knowingly and nodded.

Finally we were in the car; I almost thought that we wouldn't make it out here.

"Are you okay?" I turned to meet his gaze.

"Yes, and sorry for back there. I know you tried to help but I pushed you away."

"Its okay darlin', you needed to feel it." I took his hand into mine and squeezed.

"So where are we going anyway? You haven't given me any clues." I pouted.

"It's _supposed_ to be a surprise Bella. Just relax and try not to think about what you were earlier. I would hate to crash my new car." I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Are you sure you can handle that or do I have to force you to relax." I giggled and nodded.

I gust of calm and tranquility hit me and a slouched further into the leather seat while emitted a small ahh. He smiled and began to drive faster. I loved driving with Jasper; he had so much nimbleness and control. It made me wonder if he would have so much dexterity when we finally got the chance to be alone. I imagined all the things his hands could do to prove it to me. I turned my head to see if Jasper had caught on to my feelings. I was supposed to be calm not imagining Jasper and I together for the first time. He didn't seem to notice; I smiled secretly to myself.

"You're not getting off that easily Bella," I turned to him and tried to hide my smile.

"I'm sorry but I don't know what you're talking about." He playfully rolled his eyes.

"Bella, your lust just hit me in my face, I can smell it all over you." I looked down; hiding my face behind my shade of hair. He reached over and took my hand again. "Trust me Bella, I'm just as excited for our trip but you need to relax. Can you do that for me please?" He looked at me and I felt bad for being so…well whatever it was that I was doing. "Don't feel bad darlin', it's natural to feel that way. I would too if I were you, I mean look at me." I couldn't help but to burst out laughing.

"Oh please," I laughed again.

"You're really bruising my ego darlin'" I looked at him but laughed again; he was smiling just as much as I was.

We drove in comfortable silence but finally stopped about an hour later. I looked around; we were in sort of private airport. He got out of the car and opened my door for me. I stepped out and took his hand into mine.

"Where are we?"

"We have to leave the car here; we're going to be flying the rest of the way."

"Okay, but where are we?" he started to pull me over to a small jet.

"These are our private jets. We only use them in emergencies or special occasions."

"Ours?"

"Yes the family, our family." I smiled. I liked the sound of it when he said it.

"Where is the pilot?" I asked as he led me into the small jet.

"Very curious today are we?"

"Sorry" I looked down again.

"Never apologize Bella; I love you just the way you are." He kissed my forehead and smiled. "I'm going to fly it."

"Hey you never told me you could fly a plane," He sat down in the front and motioned for me to sit across from him.

"It's a jet darlin' and some things are better left for surprise." He began to flick on controls, turning them bright greens and yellows.

I buckled my seatbelt even though I knew I wasn't going to need it, it was just a habit. The jet started to rumble and shake, Jasper looked at me with the silliest grin on his face. I laughed and turned to look out at the disappearing ground.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"You look like a kid playing with a new toy. You really love this don't you?"

"You have no idea."

"When did you get your pilot license? He grinned again.

"Long time ago, probably before you were even born." I turned away again and looked out at the white clouds that engulfed us. I almost forgot to call Renesmee.

"Is it safe to use my cell phone?" He looked over to me and bit his lip.

"Can you be fast?" I nodded and pulled out my phone. We _were _vampires; we were the epitome of fast.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Renesmee's number. Edward had forced her to have a cell phone, but I knew that if I ever needed her I could just call Jacob…I trusted him.

"Mom?" Her voice was like light bells.

"Hi honey, how are you?"

"Fine, is there something wrong?" I smiled; she was always worrying about us.

"No sweetie everything is fine. I just wanted to tell you that you have to call Edward every night before you go to bed."

"Aww mama do I have to?" I frowned.

"I'm sorry honey but yes you do. He made a big deal out of it. You don't have to talk for long just say whatever feels right."

"Nothing feels right mama." Her misery seeped in through the phone.

"I know it's hard for you but he's trying Renesmee, so maybe you should too." She sighed.

"Okay okay, I'll do it. Have fun on your trip, tell dad I said hi," I turned to him and he smiled.

"He said hi back. Remember that I love you honey, more than my own-"

"Life, I know mama, me too. I love you both."

"Okay tell Jacob we said hi," Jasper tapped me and gave me a look. "Oh and that Jasper said rules."

"Okay okay I will."

"Okay bye honey,"

"Bye," I clicked off the phone and met Jasper's gaze. "Thanks"

"What for?"

"For letting her love you like that Jasper…for being her dad."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He leaned over and kissed me.

About three hours passed before Jasper began to flick the buttons.

"We're landing?"

"Yes we are,"

"So does that mean we're at our destination or do we have to ride a mule too?"

He laughed and rolled his eyes.

"No mules, just sand." I looked out the window and saw a very small island.

"Where are we?"

"Shhhh, wait until we land darlin'"

The jet slowly ascended and landed with a small bump. He got up and offered me his hand which I took. When the latch opened I was blinded, not literally but the sun shined down hard on us. I turned to look at Jasper; he was even more beautiful when he sparkled. He stepped out onto the sand and helped me out. The island was absolutely gorgeous, even more beautiful than Esme's island.

"Okay now will you tell me?"

"This is our island Bella, welcome to Greece."

**Hope you guys liked that. Bella really wants to make love to Jasper...soon I promise next chapter. Edward was a little mean don't you think? Do you guys think Nessie should give him another chance?**


	28. Sweet Love

**Disclaimer: I Own nothing**

"Ours?" I turned to him in awe.

"Yes Bella, well for the weekend this Greek island is ours." He squeezed my hand.

He grabbed both of our bags and started to walk towards a small bungalow. This had to be a dream; this island was beyond amazing and it was ours for the time being. I turned and looked at Jasper. His eyes were fixed ahead so I took this moment to stare. I loved Jasper with all of my heart; although my heart could no longer beat, every time I looked at Jasper I could feel his love slowly bring it back to life.

"What are you thinking darlin'?" He didn't look back but tighten his hold on my hand.

"How lucky I am to be with you, to be loved by you," He stopped walking and turned fully to look at me.

"It's me, who is the lucky one Bella; I'm blessed to be with you." I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "Mmm Bella, you have no idea what you do to me." I pulled away and smirked.

"Come on, I want to see inside," I pointed to the bungalow that sat ahead of us.

Jasper smiled as he pushed open the door. I couldn't stifle the wow that came out of my house.

Although it was small, it was absolutely breath taking. The furniture was mostly wood and ranged from oak and maple. The walls were made of logs of wood and were decorated with beautiful paintings and pictures. I walked up to one of the pictures and started to laugh.

"Oh, yes that is a funny picture." He came up behind me and snaked his arms around my waist.

In the picture Jasper was laughing while hugging Esme, they looked so happy and well human. I shuffled over to the next picture and bit my lip; it was a picture of a very intimate Alice and Jasper cuddling on the couch that I recognized as the one in the main house. I could feel him stiffen behind me. I turned a smiled at him.

"It's okay Jasper…it's a nice picture." I said lying; I didn't want our special place to be plagued with reminders of what we left at home.

"Darlin' I know it makes you uncomfortable, you can't lie to an empath you know." He reached behind me to move the picture. "Esme decorates all of our private getaway houses." He placed the picture down on a nearby table.

I moved to left to look at the next pictures. I almost died; figuratively speaking, when I saw the black and white picture on the wall. It was a picture of Edward and me when I was human. He was playing the piano and I was staring at him with what some would interpret as complete admiration.

"You don't have to ask me twice to take this down." He pulled it off the wall and tossed it behind him. I laughed and walked over to the picture.

"Esme probably wouldn't like it if she found out that we broke all of her pictures" I picked it up and placed it on the table along with the other one.

"Sorry darlin', I just didn't want our weekend to involve them." I smiled and placed my hand on his cheek.

"And it's not going to be, so what plans do you have for us today?" He pulled me close to his chest and buried his nose in my hair. He inhaled deeply and pulled away.

"Well I was thinking that we could go scuba diving, and then hunt. How does that sound?"

"Sounds great! Let's go change." He nodded and took my hand leading me into the master bedroom.

The room was just as beautiful as the other room. There was a huge bed in the top corner of the room; it was covered in an ivory colored silk bedding. I rummaged through the bag on the bed and pulled out my favorite swimsuit. It was a navy blue top and white bottom. I pulled my shirt up over my head and took off my bra. I could feel Jasper's eyes on me. Without turning around, I slipped off my jeans and underwear.

"If you stand there watching me Jasper, we'll never get to go scuba diving."

"Do you really want to go scuba diving?" He came up behind me and held me tightly against his chest. His voice was husky.

I leaned away from him and turned to face him. He had a wicked smile plastered to his face; I shuddered at what he could be thinking.

"Yes actually I do so get changed" I stepped away at the same time he stepped closer.

"Ah Bella but your feelings deceive you," he drawled out in his southern accent. He knew what it did to me when he talked like that. I stepped away smiling.

"What are my feelings saying?" His eyebrows furrowed as he continued to walk closer, the desire in me spiked. A slow smile crept across his face.

"That we're not going scuba diving." I eyed the door and measured the distance; if I ran fast enough I could make it outside. I giggled at the thought and ran for it.

I could hear him laughing as he ran after me. Before I knew it, I was pinned onto the bed with his head nuzzling my neck. I laughed some more; this was just so much fun. He deepened his kisses on my neck which made me laugh even more. I struggled underneath his hold and kept on laughing. I could feel his head lift up. I looked up at him and smiled.

"You're really bruising my ego darlin' what's so funny?" I laughed again.

"It tickles." He frowned. "Sorry?" I laughed again.

"Bella I'm trying to make love to you and you're laughing?" I stopped immediately at his seriousness.

"You were?" he rolled off me.

"Yes I was but you were too busy laughing to notice." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Aw I'm sorry Jasper but I really want to go scuba diving." I pouted. He smiled and got up; reaching a hand out to me.

"Then let's go," I smiled at the man I loved and took his hand.

The water was so warm and comfortable. We swam around for hours while kissing and laughing at times. When we got back to the bungalow it was late and the moon was shining the vast of purple skies. My hair was wet so I went into the bathroom to blow dry it.

**JPOV**

Tonight would be the night that I would make love to Bella, we would officially be one. I shuddered at the thought of being one with my Bella. I had waited so long to make love to her but we were always disturbed and the southern gentleman in me told me not to rush her. I went back into the bedroom and listened to the sound of the blow dryer. I laughed at the fact that it mattered to her that her hair was wet. I know that she was just as nervous as I was, but we weren't supposed to be nervous, vampires don't get nervous. Then why did I feel like a human about to make a speech in front of millions of people? This was my Bella; whatever happened tonight would be magical. I sat on the edge of the bed, laid back and ran my hand through my hair. I had to calm down. I didn't want Bella to sense my anxiousness.

I could hear that she put down the dryer and was now getting changed. I took that moment to quickly light candles around the room. I turned off the light and stood at the edge of the bed. She stepped out of the bathroom and stood in the doorway. I sat up and was immediately swept away by her beauty. She wore sheer, sinuous, spaghetti strapped, nightgown that hugged her in all the right places; I could see just how much she had changed from her weak human days. Her long, dark hair swept over her shoulders and down her back. She smiled as she walked toward me.

**BPOV**

The room was dimly lit with candles everywhere. If I could cry I know I would be right now, it was so beautiful. He pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. He pushed me away slightly and cupped my face, thumbs gently brushing my lips.

"I love how soft your lips are darlin'" he drawled out before lips lightly brushing his lips against mine. He kissed me a lightly while whispering how much he loved me. I reached my hands to his hair; I softly tangled my hands in it and gently pulling his face closer to mine so I could deepen the kiss. I pressed my lips harder against him and he growled into my mouth. I slowed my kisses and nibbled on his lower lip, gently sucking it into my mouth. I could feel his whole body tremble against mine. If our hearts could beat; they probably would be beating out of my chest.

His tongue brushed against my lips, begging for entrance. I moaned his name and met his tongue with mine; sucking on it. He growled into my mouth again and I could feel the heat from our passion threatening to consume us. I broke away to look into his eyes. I wouldn't go any further until he knew how much I love him.

"I love you Jasper, with everything in me."

"I love you too, and I have loved you since that day on the mountain, and I promise to love you for the rest of my life." he said, his fingers slowly caressing my face. I can't imagine spending my forever with anyone else."

I looked into his eyes, my hands reaching up to touch his face, his. I pulled his face to mine; eagerly kissing him, our tongues curved around each other, tasting and touching. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my body to his. He broke our kiss, and I whimpered at the lost but then I felt his mouth trailing to my chin, my jaw, my neck. I could feel warmth spreading from the pit of stomach to my center; the heat radiating down my legs and throughout my body. He gently pulled the strap down my shoulder and kissed my collar bone; sucking and nibbling. I moaned and arched my head back,

"Jasper…Oh God I love you Jasper…….." I moaned, pulling his face back to mine.

"Bella…I love you so much .Please…let me love you…. Let me make you mine." he groaned against my lips. My need and wanting to love him conquered those feelings of nervousness.

"Yes…" I whispered. "Jasper, please…make me yours" I gasped. His hand reached down; cupping my breast through my night gown, his thumb gently brushing my already hardened peak.

He pulled me harder against him, and my legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. His mouth found mine again and his kisses became rougher more urgent. I felt his hardness against my core, so I ground myself against him. I didn't have to be an empath to feel how much he wanted me. He growled loudly, his hands grasping my backside, pressing my hips harder against his. I arched my head back and moaned his name. The feeling of something building inside of me was new for me. When I was with Edward, everything was so controlled. This was primal and spontaneous; something I had never felt before.

Jasper quickly pinned and pressed my back against a nearby wall, grinding himself into me while kissing me. He grabbed my hands, bringing them above my head and pinning them against the wall with one hand, while his other hand under my gown. I didn't really like this position; I needed to be closer to him. I arched further against him, my breasts practically begging for his touch. His thumb and index finger closed around my nipple. I growled into his mouth while moving my hips more urgently against his, rubbing my arousal against his. I could feel the pressure building, I didn't want to cum yet I wanted to feel this while he rocked inside of me.

"No, don't fight it darlin', cum for me baby," I grinded against him and felt the pressure at its breaking point. "That's it darlin'" I could feel as the waves of pleasure crashed over me, I shook as my first orgasm overtook me.

"Jasper!' I shrieked, "Ooohh Jasper, oh God…" I cried out as my body shuddering against his, my breath coming in short rough gasps.

Jasper held me as the waves of pleasure wash over me. His hips were still rhythmically moving pressing his hardness against my throbbing center. When I finally came down from my orgasm, I looked at him and smiled while leaning in to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Do you want to feel what you do to Bella?" I nodded. Suddenly I was hit with anticipation, arousal, lust, nervousness and most of all love. "You make me feel all of these things Bella…let me show you how much I love you my Bella."

His eyes focused back on my mouth. He crashed his back onto mine, and the heat began to build inside of me again. I ground my hips; rubbing myself against him and he growled. He lifted me off the wall and walked back to the bed, while still locking his lips to mine. I kissed him hungrily, my tongue tracing his lips. He laid me down on the bed, his eyes never leaving mine, only for a second though to look up and down my body. He knelt between my legs, his hands on either side of my head.

"You're so beautiful Bella" he said gently. "I love this on you," he said, running his hands over the sheet night gown I wore. "But I think it has to come off." he said, his fingers running over the soft lace. He slowly lifted it off me, leaving my body bare except for the underwear I still had on. His mouth again found mine, his hands running over my bare breast. "So beautiful" he moaned.

He kissed my throat, moving slowly down. The tip of his tongue leaving a wet trail behind. His right hand grasped my one breast as his mouth closed on the other, sucking gently. I couldn't help as my back arched off the bed, my eyes closed as I yielded myself to his touch. His mouth left my breast, and then moved to the valley in between. His mouth altered from sucking and licking as he moved to my other breast. The pleasure was indescribable; I felt like a human losing her mind in immense bliss.

"Jasper… I need you now." I whimpered. He continued to kiss my breast.

My hands moved between our bodies and I grasped his hardness through his jeans. He closed his eyes and when they reopened they were pitch black. I guessed mine probably were too. I lifted my head, kissing, and lightly biting his neck as my hands moved higher, grabbing the bottom of his shirt. I quickly pulled it over his head and yanked his body down to mine. The feeling of his bare skin pressed against my breasts caused my nipples to harden again and sparked butterflies to fly through my body.

He leaned over me again, his mouth finding mine. He tasted so good; I didn't want this moment to end. His hands reached down, pulling my legs up on either side of his hips.

I pulled away, and quickly moved to straddling him. He watched me as I ripped his jeans off him. His erection was straining against his boxers. I ripped those off too. I pressing my center against his length as I leaned over him, kissing him with everything I had in me. He moaned as my wet heat made contact with his member. I felt him throbbing against me. He flipped us so that I was on my back. His kisses became more intense. He grinded his hips against me, rubbing himself against my wetness. I whimpered again as his mouth left mine, only to trail down my body with open mouthed kisses. He moved lower, licking and kissing my stomach, his tongue dipping into my belly button, then lower.

He gently nudged my legs apart, his hands running up and down my thighs. He kissed each of my inner thighs. His lips closed over my core as his tongue whipped out, tasting me for the first time. My hips shot up and he pressed his mouth harder against me, licking and sucking my sensitive flesh. I grabbed his hair and pushed him closer to me; not wanting to lose this sensation.

"Mmmm" he moaned "You taste so good darlin', I don't think I want to stop." He moved his hand between my legs, his finger brushing against my opening. "So wet,. Are you wet for me Bella?" he whispered, and I felt my head nod up and down over and over again.

He slipped a finger into my hot core and began pump it in and out. I gasped when I felt another finger slip into me.

"Jaaaspeer" I mewled, my body arching off of the bed. He bent his head down again to tease my bundle of nerves with my tongue. "Holy crow!" I shrieked.

"Do you like that Bella? He asked seductively.

"Oh yes….please Jasper…Ooh" I begged, my voice high pitched as my climax was building. He slid his long finger completely inside of me again while his tongue lashed out against my clit. He slid his finger in and out of me, adding another as my body surrendered to him. Everything turned around me looked blurry as my orgasm rocked through my body hard. I screamed out my release as Jasper continued his ministrations. I collapsed back onto the bed and tried to calm myself down from my euphoria. Not that I was complaining but I needed this to feel Jasper inside of me. The need to be one was overwhelming.

"Please Jasper; I need to feel you inside of me. Make me yours, forever yours." I whispered in his ear.

Jasper leaned down and kissed me hard, the taste of my arousal still on his tongue.I felt him push forward slightly, opening my body to him.

"This is for forever darlin', are you sure this is what you want?" I looked up at him and smiled.

"You are what I want Jasper…forever. Please I need you, I want this," I practically begged.

He slid slowly into me, allowing my body to stretch and accommodate his size. I could feel myself stretching around him as he pushed in deeper. I could feel as the now familiar burning in my stomach began to build. His hips pulled back and I felt him slide out of me, only to feel him press forward again, this time fully sheathing himself deep inside of me. It felt like my passage was stretched to the limit, but it felt so good. Edward and I were only intimate on special occasions so I wasn't totally experienced. He slowly pushed in and out of me, and I lifted my hips to his, finding his rhythm. He would withdraw until he almost completely left my body, causing me to whimper but only to plunge back in, hitting the same nerves deep inside of me. Our mouths moved together, tongues moving together in the same rhythm as our bodies. He moaned against my mouth, and I whimpered against his as our orgasms built. He moved faster, his hands grasping my backside, lifting me against him.

"God Bella…you're so tight darlin'"

This angle made him slide deeper into me, and I tore my mouth away from his. My head thrown back as pure ecstasy moans poured from my lips.

"Harder…go harder Jasper" I cried out, and he complied, pounding harder into me, shaking the bed in the process. Each time he plunged back into me, his pelvis hit my clit, bringing me even closer to my rapture. I felt my walls start to clench around him, as he pressed deeper into me, grinding himself against my clit. Then I exploded. Every nerve ending in my body pulsated from the climax.

"Cum with me darlin'"

He pulled completely out of me, and then pushed hard back into me, his hips slamming against mine, reaching even deeper inside of me and exploded again, screaming as my second release came in a matter of a few seconds. He joined me in ecstasy and I felt him shudder inside of me as he reached his own climax, feeling his white cold fluids shoot deep into me. I felt his member twitch inside as he spilled himself into my body. He moved mouth from mine and collapsed onto me, resting his head into the crook of my neck.

"You were so amazing Bella" his voice was husky.

He moved off from on top of me, and I whimpered as he slid out of me, immediately feeling empty. He laid down next to me and pulled me onto his chest, holding me close. I traced lazy circles on his sculpted chest with my fingertips as he buried his nose in my hair.

"I love you so much Jasper, more than anything." I murmured.

"I love you too Bella, forever."

All my dreams had come true, I was with the man I loved. The future never looked brighter.


End file.
